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The Innocence Of Muslims–A Landmark In Filmmaking

The Innocence of Muslims has spread wildly throughout the Middle East and is one of the most critically-acclaimed popular films since The Passion of The Christ. A new landmark in American Cinematography, the wondrous shots of the barbaric setting for desert people transport audiences to a fantasy land where nothing makes sense and buildings are set on fire simply because they are inhabited by Christians.

Culturally speaking, this is a landmark for American film that could have only been shot by a highly-acclaimed pornographic filmmaker. Muhammed’s depiction as a bisexual who likes both submissive and dominant acts of sodomy had me laughing at all the sodomite homosexual submissive Muslims in the world. The poignant tale of Islam’s founder and his dynamic struggle for a sexual identity dropped a bomb on my misconceptions. No longer do I think of Muslims as serious practitioners of a religion, but now I see they are just innocent heathens led to destructive and violent acts by crazed Imams who follow in the tradition of Muhammed. No wonder they don’t like it when people depict him!

I have never seen a film which better facilitates masturbation. The sex scenes in this movie aroused me sensually and made me want to violate the Sweet Virgin Mary. I spilt my seed when Muhammed told his followers to rape the children of the conquered, because that has always been a dream of mine. Perhaps I will join the Army so I can get back at the Muslims for all their horrific war crimes through history. My only problem was that there were no graphic depictions of genitalia, and we did not actually get to see Muhammed having sex. That would have greatly improved my enjoyment of the furious masturbation.

It was hilarious how at certain points during the movie the actors lines were overdubbed with all the really incendiary lines about Muhammed, and that none of the actors were actually conscious they were participating in such a controversial movie. Not only has the entire Muslim world been fooled like the sad innocent child-like people they are, but the actors were also similarly fooled! The film all came together in the end, and the “Great Prophet” was depicted as a crazed sword-wielding maniac covered in blood, just as everyone in America has always imagined. Surely, this is the work of America’s greatest filmmaker. It was an intellectual tour-de-force that had me thinking, laughing, crying, and cumming in my pants all at the same time.

I’ve heard that its reception in the Middle East has been fairly negative, but that’s sad! If you can’t laugh at God, who can you laugh at?

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Pokemon– MetaOracle ‘Deconstructed’

If this triggers a flood of memories and emotions, Pokemon may be a perfect oracle for you.

As man has now known for decades, the meaning of an oracle does not in fact derive from God, who may or may not exist, but rather from the act of interpretation. Pokemon, when used properly, can provide deep insights into the nature of the self and our interaction with others.

Any Pokemon should work, (although I will talk specifically about the Red, Blue, and Yellow versions) provided there is an abundance of meaning invested in the game. That is to say, a cartridge of Pokemon one has owned since childhood is optimal. It is not recommended to attempt to use Pokemon as an oracle on the first play-through.

To invest excess meaning in Pokemon, custom names should be used for both Ash and his nemesis, as well as each individual Pokemon. This is not necessary, but of extreme use in an oracle. A successful oracle hinges on ‘investment of meaning.’ A common misconception about oracles is that the player must ‘believe’ or be into new-age mambo jambo. This is actually not true! These are simply further tools for ‘investment of meaning,’ which can be easily compared to a drug such as table salt or LSD. Too much and it is poisonous, flavoring everything with its overwhelming meaning, but even the smallest taste can profoundly change the way one looks at the world.

Believing in the world of Pokemon was incredibly easy for me as a child, and it is especially easy to recall.

In Pokemon yellow, there is the added suggestion that Ash’s first Pokemon, Pikachu, is the Pikachu ‘from the cartoon series,’ which, of course, is highly preferable for fans of the cartoon television series seeking an oracular experience. Naming this special Pikachu, a visible companion in the overworld and no longer enslaved property, is nearly as important as naming the self and the nemesis.

Quite beautifully, you awake as a child in your mother’s house, the only place where you (vicariously through Pokemon (these ‘other’ agents are your source of ‘health’ or vitality)) can recharge all your ‘health’ without being subjected to a corporate machine (Poke (!) centers).

There is no love plot in Pokemon except the one between Ash and his mother. Ash’s father figure is Professor Oak, not his father but the father of the nemesis, who insists Ash must catch all 150 (There are 152, if one counts Mew and the glitch Missingno) Pokemon.

[Footnote: What would Professor Oak think if he saw a Missingno? Would he immediately conclude that his entire universe was a computer video game? Would he think he was in some kind of “simulation?” Or would he tie it in and use it to elaborate on evolutionary theory?]

The virtual ‘self’ is named by its contrast with the ‘nemesis.’ Using this Ash-shaped ‘mask’ and the name of a chronic enemy or opposing force provides the fundamental meaning, framing the values that play out through the entirety of the game and from which all meaning flows. This can be both a way to examine an existing persona xor to create an entirely new one. A vital point to make is that the enemy will always be defeated as long as the entire game ‘plays out.’ This is simply an important archetypal structure which must be made note of, a video game Hero Myth: Make it through the end of the day (game) and it is always a victory. A reassuring message, surely, but not necessarily realistic.

Pokemon are absolutely agents–especially the most powerful, (& anthropomorphic) Mewtwo. However, they are nonetheless enslaved and kept in magical pool ball belt-prisons to be released only to serve their masters. There is no cultural resistance whatsoever to this treatment of Pokemon anywhere in the world, although the ‘mistreatment’ of Pokemon by the Team Rocket ‘Criminal Gang’ and the ‘Evil Genetically-Modifying’ Uber (?) Corporation is widely criticized.

Wild Pokemon attack constantly in grassy areas and caves and represent a force to be mastered. The easily-unconscious treatment of these Pokemon is revealed quantitatively after battles, and profound events may be ‘replayed’ or interpreted upon reflection of a Pokemon battle.

Brains are interpretation machines, and the cultural stigma in the gaming community against ‘religious’ experience is disingenuous. Too often the ‘vision quest’ is replaced with lame drug experiences and trendy ‘trippy’ movies like Fear and Loathing or The Wall. Disbelief is suspended openly to supplement these experiences, but these are cheapened experiences! As a tool for deep reflection, a vision quest, or a modern oracle Pokemon is, even when ‘deeply invested with meaning,’ still a greatly cheapened form of a visceral real-life vision quest. The complexity of the Pokemon experience, however, is potentially much deeper and more ‘authentic’ than even that of the I-Ching!

@Kilgoar is the prophet and ex-leader of @YourAnonInglip’s (Part of the @YourAnonInc Monopoly-Anarcho-Finance-Capitalist (Monarchofincap) Social Media Empire) Rhizomatic Syncretic Legion (A Lebal Drocer Hometown Family TransHuman Religion @LebalDrocerInc) which is evidently now headed either by @Alrart or @MichelleMalkin.

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AMERICA CAN’T LOOK AWAY! Trainwreck Sensation Little Honey Boo Boo Empowers Market With Fearless March Toward Diabetes

Move over, “Toddlers & Tiaras!” Because there’s a new girl in town. . .

Fresh from the impaired minds of The Learning Channel executives who brought you “What Not to Wear,” “Randy to the Rescue,” and “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant,” comes little Honey Boo Boo.

Tune in this fall as fat Michelin-man shaped rednecks flop into a mud hole repeating Larry the Cable Guy memes, until you think you just can’t take it anymore. Then, wait for Honey Boo Boo to win back your heart with cute emotional avoidances, like, “You better redneckocgnize!”

“Redneckognize” is a play on words which combines all the ignorance brought to mind by the euphemistic racial slur “redneck,” with the word “recognize,” or to consider again; literally, to identify something or someone previously seen, such as the degradation of educational cable TV stations.

And if you learn anything from this corporate-induced delusional exploit, you’ll learn Little Honey Boo Boo is hardly the meanest one, or the baddest of the bunch. Indeed, much of her family is being paid and encouraged to reinforce every stereotype television helped create. WATCH IT EVERY NIGHT FOR ALL I CARE!

Watch for producers to inject new cutesy catch phrases, such as “Where’s mah insulin?”