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Entertainment Reviews

Denver Airport Conspiracy Theory a hoax!

Since 2007, a conspiracy theory about the Denver Airport has received massive attention on youtube. Although no conspiracy is actually promoted in the video, the context of conspiracy is quite clear. By alluding to other conspiracy theories and twisting the perception of frightening images, this media is intended to create public distrust for the Denver Airport. A good hoax, but not good enough to fool me. The video is missing the emotional appeals that appear in Loose Change, as well as a cohesive plot. A conspiracy theory about population control that doesn’t use chemtrails as a plot device is saddening and unbelievable. I’ve always believed chemtrails are real, as airplanes have been seeding us for decades with the first part of a two part poison.

 

The true source of the Denver Airport “conspiracy” is a group of film students at Hong Kong International School. The frightening images, music, and theories play to an audience that already believes in the New World Order conspiracy. As one of the most blatant hoaxes on youtube, I found it especially entertaining. It plays almost like top-notch satire, mildly ruined by school-project delivery of the voice-overs.

 

 

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Reviews

Electric Wizard

Electric Wizard is the only modern-day stonermetal band that fucking jams consistently.

Obviously, props go out to heavy metal badasses The Sword, and while they are really very good and rock with the badassitude of Black Sabbath or AC/DC, they don’t hold a candle the brain-fuzzing vocals and asshole-tearing riffs of the amazing Electric Wizard.

Their songs range from spaced-out bass grooves with tripped-out repeating guitar and phaser-enhanced vocals to all out sludge jams with straight-up screaming – but not that growly shitty screaming you hear in teenage pop music, but actual singing with emotion and purpose.

Electric Wizard is a band whose guitar solos hark back to Tony Iommi, but their rhythms are comparable to Slo-Burn, Kyuss and at times resemble doom metal. Contributing to time dilation, the tempos can slow down as low as about 60 or 80, but make your foot tap about 160 when the solo comes screaming out of nowhere and you’re being screamed at like you killed Jesus – just to hear him scream.

Their song material ranges from hate to drugs to the travel of space and time. No faggy stuff about love here, folks. Just sludgy, face-melting reality-altering jams.

Buy any album, or bittorrent them and buy tickets to their fucking shows. [Editor’s note: A good practice if you’re going to download a band’s discography is find a way to donate what money you can afford to their operation.]

Try to find their song “Chrono Naut.”

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Entertainment Special Interest

Anonymous spawns new type of pr0n

AnonPr0n comes in BBW flavor!

Anonymous has created its own politically minded anarchic subculture within the deepest depths of the internet. Until now, it has not had its own brand of porn. However, a new genre has emerged that features actors wearing the distinctive “Guy Fawkes” masks, borrowed from the Hollywood blockbuster V for Vendetta. Several major producers from the Porn industry have eagerly jumped on the Anonymous bandwagon only to be disappointed with their profits.

AnonPr0n, as it has become known, is generating very little sales. Chronicle.SU reached one AnonPr0n director for comment. He wished to remain Anonymous. “They just want to pirate this stuff–there’s basically no way to make money off of it. As soon as the material is available, it hits the torrents.”

The message is clear: put on the Guy Fawkes mask and you will soon be fucking a girl like this.

The AnonPr0n phenomenon is not limited merely to commercial porn producers. True to form, many female members of Anonymous have begun to produce their own amateur AnonPr0n. “AnonyMiss,” a sub-cult of female Anons, is churning out self-made images designed to lure in new recruits.

The shocking images here are just the beginning. Fapping furiously, thousands of Anons are firing up Photoshop to create fakes. For all purposes, they will be just as good as the real thing. The mind reels at the implications for poopsex, gore, transexual, analgape, and yes–even childporn. We advise our readers to turn off their computers and cancel their internet service. Forever.

UPDATE: Anons have created a “Sexy Fawkes” meme, ripping off “AnonPr0n” and rebranding it as something original. You can view these scary boner-killing images at http://sexyfawkes.tumblr.com/