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How a new machine could collapse the bitcoin market

Bitcoins may soon be worth next to nothing at all.
Bitcoins may soon be worth next to nothing at all.

INTERNET — New hardware designed by Butterfly Labs promises to mine bitcoins more cheaply than ever before. If you aren’t familiar with bitcoins, they are a digital currency deriving their rarity and value through advanced cryptographic algorithms. Only so many bitcoins can be “found,” and they first wind up in the hands of those with enough computing cycles to slog through the complicated math.

In the past, the price of electricity did not make bitcoin mining a profitable endeavor, but engineers at Butterfly Labs have built a line of machines specifically designed to mine more bitcoins than ever before while using a minimal amount of electricity. Thousands of these mining machines have been pre-ordered and will soon ship to eager consumers hungry to make a quick buck.

Recently, the bitcoin market has been hit with severe hyper-deflation, and this rapid increase in bitcoin value could cause trading on the market to freeze up. In the past month, the price of a bitcoin has skyrocketed from $40 to nearly $100. Analysts concerned about new mining technology warn that this bubble may soon burst.

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6 Dead as Hack Forums Legend f0rsaken HACKS Chronicle.su

Cryptic Photo Posted on the Defaced Site; Scary!

 

Haters rejoiced late Easter Sunday, as a plot was devised to devour and destroy the illustrious and mighty Internet Chronicle. The plan was hatched on an encrypted video chat platform that only hackers use, called “TinyChat“. We managed to grab a few logs from the encrypted chat, but they were using what we believe may be the SHA-1 hash function so we could only decrypt parts of it.

| [12:35 AM] hoic: niggas
| [12:35 AM] x: sup hoic
| [12:35 AM] hoic: defacing chronicle sometime s00n
| [12:35 AM] x: lay it down mofo
| [12:35 AM] x: word
| [12:35 AM] x: <3
| [12:35 AM] hoic: nuffin too biggie

The hack was done by the great and knowledgeable Hack Forums Hero known as f0rsaken aka hoic aka @itsd00m. He is well versed in social engineering trickery, such as jacking amazon accounts and some say he may have a “botnet,” but these are simply unconfirmed allegations.

While the deface was rather gauche, it did provide clear dox of all Chronicle.su employees and their families, while giving a nod to the great John Thiessen, aka Ron Brynaert. “#hatesec” was plastered all over the site, which seems to be a new hacking group with more skills than Dan Kaminsky, as they poisoned the Chronicles DNS and rerouted all traffic to 9gag, all the while maintaining root and mining information to SWAT people with.

As you can see, the critical infrastructure of the site is completely crippled and our lives are all over.

Goodnight, from Washington.

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Kevin Ware brutally injured by Illuminati

College basketball player Kevin Ware's leg was fractured by the Illuminati, Sunday.
College basketball player Kevin Ware’s leg was fractured by the Illuminati, Sunday.

LOUSIVILLE — Kevin Ware, basketball player for the Lousiville Cardinals, suffered a brutal leg injury at the hands of fiendish Illuminati players from Duke. Diving to block a shot and influenced by some kind of witchcraft, Ware landed badly and his leg shattered at the shin.

Doctors say it will take at least 10 years to heal, and Ware’s career in basketball is practically over forever. Louisville has recently surprised fans by winning against high-powered teams like Duke, who are commonly believed to have ties to the Illuminati.

Ware, when interviewed by deceased journalist Frank Mason, said, “Man, fuck the Illuminati. I’ma get me some real doctors down in Cuba and be back ballin’ in no time.”