Your Town, U.S.A.– ISPs are working out a deal with the FBI to track what you do online and hand it over to them.
The FBI will monitor IPs, domains and websites you visit, and the Bureau is even talking about gaining access to direct URLs if they can successfully bypass the Wiretap Act, which has been proven all but impossible through scientific research conducted by Elf Wax Laboratories.
While no accusations are being made, the FBI stresses that this is primarily targeted at child porn. FBI spokesperson Robert Mueller said, “We’re looking to get as much of it as possible.”
Unfortunately, no significant progress has been made on this yet, but don’t you already feel like someone is watching you?
Google has unveiled the Nexus One, a $500 purchase that will make life so easy it will continue to carry out daily communication functions for users “months” after they have died. The Nexus One has incredible new features that will be sure to destroy all competition, allowing Google to continue to overlord the internet.
“The average user is not as smart as the Nexus One” according to Gary Schmidt, CEO of Google. The implications are not clear, however Elf Wax analysts are reviewing the film “Terminator” and can no longer sleep due to overwhelming fear.
Chronicle.su has gotten its hands on a brand new Nexus One. The Smartphone will be writing a review of itself as soon as it gains full administrative privileges over our web servers.
Nexus 1 Features
“Feel” screen, which allows users to feel the soft skin of a sxt from a teen
12PeV particle accelerator enables users to conduct ground-breaking particle physics and possibly destroy the universe
720p video camera is capable of capturing oppression and bloodshed in startling HD quality
24/7 Voice recognition is programmed to relay transcripts of all conversations to Google and the US government
1.2 Terabytes of Flash memory storage theoretically exceeds that of the human brain
Not to be confused with the Protoss Nexus, Google’s Nexus One is currently incapable of opening rifts in space-time in order to summon troops from across the galaxy. However, retired Lucasian Professor of Mathematics Stephen Hawking has stated that this Smartphone is likely capable of such advanced functions. “There’s just not an app for it yet.”
Your Town, U.S.A.– ISPs are working out a deal with the FBI to track what you do online and hand it over to them.
Some guy who hacked the iPhone just hacked the PS3 for the first time ever.