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Religion Uncontrollable Patriotism

Fraught Historic Parallel stokes Islamophobia for America’s Left

Is the Islamic State religious? Are they just like the Spanish Inquisition?
Is the Islamic State religious? Are they just like the Spanish Inquisition?

INTERNET—Yet another anti-religious scientist columnist slipped miserably in a fraught attempt to deploy a historic parallel to back up his point of view. Jerry A. Coyne, of New Republic, veered into the perilous field of theology in his unfortunately entitled opinion piece, If ISIS Is Not Islamic, then the Inquisition Was Not Catholic. This mildly Islamophobic tract, which criticizes Obama and others for declaring that the Islamic State is not Islamic, proposes the absurd and wrong parallel with the Catholic tradition of inquisitions but doesn’t touch at all on the history.

The most infamous and brutal inquisitions were not at all endorsed or carried out by the Catholic church, but rather enforced independently by practitioners of statecraft in the Machiavellian political spirit, especially Ferdinand and Isabella. Ironically, giving flesh to the titular parallel would undo Coyne’s position that the Islamic State is indeed motivated by religion and instead seems to point towards the Islamic State as a bare political power grab using religion only so far as it is politically useful.

Coyne’s ironically problematic titling aside, the basis of his theological argument is that there is no such thing as true religion and that Obama and others are calling “false” on the Islamic State only because it conflicts with their personal view of what a “true” Islam should look like. Never mind the centuries of Islamic scholarship that could be brought in to compare to that of the Islamic State, it is simple enough for Coyne to dismiss religion as a field of meaninglessness where without a true or a false we’re left with pessimistic political speech from the likes of Obama.

Coyne’s theology says that if there were such a thing as a true religion, its holy texts should appeal to the same kind of truth as science. That is, the historic literalism of some fundamentalists who believe a seminal text to be true history are on the right track but fail only because they do not possess true history. This is troubling because it affirms the interpretations of religions that transfer best into the political ideologies, the kind that are ruining the public school system in America and inspiring Islamic terrorists.

Coyne also says that all religion is worse than false, it is irrational, implying that only science can be true or false, or rational. He mixes blood libels against Islam — the usual genital mutilation, et al. — with recurring bugaboos from American political struggles such as abortion. In this way, he transfers frustrations of America’s left from the right’s still growing religious impulse over to the Islamic State, and this way aligns the left with the right in their fear and hate for the Islamic State.

It is beyond depressing to watch this kind of warmongering Islamophobia work its way through America’s left like a virulent salve soothing the guilt of perpetual war on the Muslim world.

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Categories
Politics Uncontrollable Patriotism

Scotland’s failed bid for independence defrauded by Illuminati

INTERNET—Friday, Scotland lost its bid for independence as a majority of the country allegedly voted ‘No’ to independence. Analysts were astounded as social media clearly showed a strong preference for ‘Yes’ votes. In addition, photographs clearly displaying rampant voting fraud were circulated widely across the globe. Some reported that police stormed into a polling station and seized many handfuls of ballots.

The evidence of the fraud was not even hidden but rubbed in our faces, and this fits the exact behavior profile of the global elites. No matter if you call them the Illuminati, the Bilderbergers, Bohemian Grove, or the UN, the last thing they want happening is smaller empires.

They want everything bigger, and in Scotland people tried to resist. As always, the elites are laughing in our faces. Their global empire won’t be stopped by something as easily corrupted as democracy.

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Local Status Quo

Comcast deploys military police to Ferguson, MO

In an unprecedented display of power, the telcom giant Comcast has stationed a battery of private paramilitary forces around the insurrecting township of Ferguson, MO.

The industry giant’s spokesman, Jeremy Malestrong, said the need for intervention became apparent when existing customer service measures proved insufficient to quell the bubbling uprising.

The Comcast customer service agency Xfinity Force Alpha executes orders to "kill on sight" any civilian who resists their fastest in-home WiFi limited time deal.
The Comcast customer service agency Xfinity Force Alpha executes orders to “kill on sight” any civilian who resists their fastest in-home WiFi limited time deal.

“The free market has a solution for Ferguson,” Malestrong said. “State and local customer service representatives armed with tanks, teargas and M-16s are not enough if the agents are unwilling to use them. Our Comcastic death squads will ensure the kind of customer service Comcast users are accustomed to by restoring stability to the region and answering Ferguson citizen complaints, all – and I mean all – of whom are loyal Comcast customers.”

Malestrong said privatized oppression is the next logical step of customer satisfaction, adding that the coming merger with Time Warner Cable could offer a direct solution to the problem of choice.[pullquote]There will be only one source of Internet: us!

Comcast representative[/pullquote]

“After the merger, our customers will no longer be forced into the uncomfortable decision of choosing where to go for the best Internet,” Malestrong said. “There will be only one source of Internet: us!”

Lieutenant Harry Coinpurse of the Ferguson County branch of Comcast customer service issued a press release stating that with the arrival of paramilitary hate forces, the Ferguson Police Department is free to return to the day-to-day police work of pulling over black people and asking where they’re headed.

“By way of the marriage of neoliberalism and socialized oppression,” Coinpurse stated, “we are proud to announce the dispersal of ALL dissatisfied Comcast customers, and will be expanding the curfew to include daytime hours so that you are safer indoors and have more time to spend on your secure, not-at-all monitored Comcast high speed Internet featuring 99.9% uptime.”*

Ferguson residents have issued a slew of responses to their reiterated enslavement ranging from satisfied, to very satisfied. In a survey at the end of the call, at least half of respondents said they would recommend Comcast Systematic Oppression of Justice to a friend.

*Conditions may apply; does not pertain to the entire Internet, and especially not to chronicle.su.