The deals were in short supply this year, but the violence was not. For your hateful enjoyment, open an ice cold Coca-Cola and watch people behave like animals just hours after eating Thanksgiving dinner. Be sure to laugh at them, and judge, as if you aren’t just as bad as the rest of them.
Most of this shit is pulled straight from the PublicFreakoutreddit frontpage.
Primer: Watch the first 5 minutes (or so) of the first video, to get a feel for how TV “news” treats our grotesque social disease. Then after that, just tear through the rest of them like early Christmas presents. You earned it.
INTERNET – The Associated Press is in a buzz over a controversial new review of Soda Shaq, the popular beverage that took the sugary drink market by storm over the summer. CNN called the video “reprehensible” while FOX News ran various clips from the 17 minute video on their morning show Fox And Friends, who praised the closing five minute reading of Glenn Beck’s bestselling classic The Overton Window.
Joey’s World Tour has yet to come forward with their promised shout out, but the undeniable fame of the second installment of The Internet Chronicle drink review of Vanilla Cream Soda Shaq is widely expected by critics to produce unique and satisfying results, including the possibility of a shout-out and Type II diabetes.
Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadour recommends a tall can of Soda Shaq to assist in extended play throughs of the popular new murder simulator Grand Theft Auto V. “I’d even say that if you’re going to stay up all night checking in-game stocks, that you just have yourself a mini-fridge full of the shit,” Troubadour said. “It’s all natural, which, that’s just everything nowadays.”
SODA SHAQ VANILLA CREAM SODA REVIEWED
“I’m Dr. Troubadour, and I approve this website.”
Dr. Angstrom Troubadour
Dr. Troubadour is a real doctor committed to improving well-being and sense of self. Dr. Troubadour, who has your best interests in mind, does not want you to worry about the small stuff. He does not want your money. He just wants you to drink Soda Shaq and chill out, dude.
Dr. Troubadour has helped out on a lot of abortions and is usually pretty cool about it. He does not look his customers in the eye during the process, but sometimes it can’t be helped. He won’t tell your friends or family what you did, and he tries to keep it to himself.
Norm Macdonald appeared recently on Conan O’Brien to tell the Moth joke. Not surprisingly, it made the reddit frontpage.
Norm is probably the funniest guy not on television. He was kicked off Saturday Night Live for not being funny enough (explained in a video below). Then, the show started to suck so they asked him to host it less than two years later.
He’s had a few shows get cancelled because he just doesn’t belong on TV, where everyone wants to make him do their thing. Truth is, Norm is as much a comedian as he is a storyteller. Here are some of his stories, starting with the moth joke which aired on Conan the other night.
The moth story
Norm’s Bob Uecker story
Norm makes light of Steve Irwin’s death
Norm tells a story about his dad catching him smoking weed