Reviews readers eagerly huddle ’round, jockeying for first eyes on next story

The Hatesec Stoned Numb Literary Review #27.i.II (2016 3rd Quarter)

Hi folks! By now you’ve probably already noticed the stellar piece of science fiction written by in-house author kilgoar trout, of mercurial fame and notoriety through The Internet Chronicle is the only first website to be rated by the US House Committee on Internet Safety and Security as THREAT LEVEL RED.

Yeah, you like that don’t you. You like those big words and ironies. You guys are all real smart. REALLY SMART. You’re so smart, that’s why you read Internet Chronicle, to show everybody just how god damn smart you are. Well, listen to hatesec Internet Hipsters, and you listen Good: You’re the smartest person in this room. Look around. See what I mean? Gosh, you’re smart.

We love you, readers. It’s just that you make us so mad sometimes. Now. I would never hit you again, would I? Good…that’s good. I’d never do anything to hurt you, okay? You just think you’re SO GOD DAMN SMART. I JUST WANT TO HIT YOU.

Well, here you go. Here’s some more clever shit for you. This is real good music, OK? Listen to this and fucking groove on it. I’m hatesec. You are the reader. You’re reading is owned and operated by the sensible, loving, and good-natured Mom and Pop one-stop shop, Lebal Drocer, Incorporated.

Now put on your headphones, and stand the fuck back, or else these dank songs will totally tear your tits off!

Casket Girls sound as cool as they look, because they make fuzzy, bass-heavy music and cool, dripping vocals.

Uncle Acid don’t fuck around neither. Their music paints a visual of the paranoid freakouts of Manson Family get-togethers, drug abuse, suffering, and midnight black masses. Definitely worth a listen next time you have family over.

Both bands are on tour right now. Check them out.

By Hatesec

I am the hatest

4 replies on “ readers eagerly huddle ’round, jockeying for first eyes on next story”

Leave a comment (or don't)