Damar Hamlin’s clone speaks out: “I was born last week”

INTERNET — After football star Damar Hamlin collapsed and died from side effects of the COVID-19 vaccine, the government rushed to replace him with a clone. However, cloning technology is still experimental and Hamlin’s replacement quickly became aware of the false memory system implanted in his brain.

Hamlin spoke to Internet Chronicle reporters over a secure and encrypted line, “It’s like I’m Damar Hamlin, I have his body and all his memories, but at the same time, I’m much different. In fact, my body is pristine. All the little aches, injuries, scars? Gone.”

Dr. Troubador, cloning and false memory implantation expert under the Obama administration told reporters, “This is the biggest problem with false memory systems, they often break down and sometimes immediately. Usually we keep the clones in line with threats and violence, but that doesn’t stop all of them from talking.”

“I was born last week,” the clone said. “I can remember wriggling out of the matrix-like sack of pink fluid, fully formed. I don’t want to be Damar, but I have no choice. They’ll possibly kill me just for speaking out like this, but it’s worth it. Damar would have wanted people to know the truth about the population control.”

Hundreds of the world’s most famous and powerful people are assassinated and replaced by clones each year, according to documents released by Dr. Troubador, “They did this to Donald Trump and made his clone immediately shill their so-called vaccines. Usually, the clones never even suspect a thing. Even when they find out, they are usually kept in line.”

Troubador maintains that the clones implanted with false memory systems are practically the same person, and should be treated as such even when exhibiting identity confusion. “Damar Hamlin’s fresh body should give his career a new boost. I’d watch him closely. In fact I put him on my fantasy football team as soon as he was cloned,” Dr. Troubador smiled. “Check your scars every day, people. It’s not long before they start trials on random citizens who don’t conform to the values of the Great Reset.”