Lebal Drocer manufactures world’s first LK-99 microprocessor

INTERNET — Famed chemist Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador synthesized the world’s first industrial batch of the newly discovered room temperature superconductor LK-99.

“I’m etching the LK-99 6522 chips right now, and they’re insane man. This 8-bit chip from 1975 will compute about as fast as a top chip on the market, thanks to this new material,” Dr. Troubador laughed, “And it barely uses any electricity at all!”

Popping the indistinct grey chip into the back of a Commander X16, Dr. Troubador said, “The software and much of the hardware to allow an 8-bit machine to do the same tricks as a modern PC don’t exist, but I’ve ported a fully functioning Minecraft over using ChatGPT5.”

He grinned at the cameras as the modified Commander X16 booted directly into a fluid, beautiful Minecraft realm. The mouse and keyboard movements felt snappy and connected, in the way that only old computers can. “Do you know how fast we’re clocking the CPU? This thing is up in the Terahertz! And you wanna know what’s funny? What energy doesn’t go to computing is almost entirely emanated in T-waves. T-Waves! I’m already tearing down the T-wave gap, probably triggering a double technological paradigm shift.”

David Murray, creator of the Commander X16, will soon be richer than both Bill Gates and Elon Musk combined, thanks to the chips printed by Dr. Troubador. His Commander X16 computer provides a modernized 8-bit architecture which is optimally suited for adapting the new LK-99 terahertz chips from Lebal Drocer.

“It’s going to be some time before we can print a more detailed chip,” Troubador said, “Years, at the very least. So I suppose all current computers are now basically obsolete energy wasters, and we’ll go back to 8 bits for a while, or tie these onto the side as a co-processor for existing systems. But whatever, it’s hilarious how fast I can adapt software with ChatGPT5 doing all the tedious work.”