Internet Chronicle

INTERNET — As President Donald Trump was sworn in at the Lincoln memorial, Benjamin Price was one of the few photographers not in attendance. A photo of what he called, “a tremendous, dark, winged  creature” landing on top of the White House has gone viral, with Roseanne calling it ‘the mothman’ in a tweetstorm heralding the very end.

The mothman was last spotted in 1967, landing on the Silver Bridge before it collapsed, killing 46 people.

While many say that the viral “Mothman” photo is only a confused heron, most on social media agree this is a prophecy of doom not only for the president, but for the entire nation. “When Mothman lands on the White House that means it’s the end, and it ain’t just the end for him. This is for all of America, and it’s coming sooner rather than later,” said former Trump supporter and famous West Virginian Jesco White. “We’s all already dead because we’ve been fooled by the devil.”

Reportedly, mothman’s landing took place at the exact moment Trump officially became president. Famous columnist and novelist Laurie Penny tweeted that she began her period “with a vengeance,” at this moment as well, perhaps affected by the gaze of the mothman.

Further sightings of the mothman have been reported as the evil creature shifts through the haze of teargas making his way back to the safe harbors of the Appalachians.

“I think he don’t like what we’ve done to these mountains,” White said. “He’s just letting us know he’s got something real bad in store for us.”

INTERNET– Donald Trump’s spokesperson Kellyanne Conway unveiled a “huge” new plan for a series of walls that will not only secure the Mexican border, but every single state border as well.

“With states like Colorado and California providing sanctuary cities for illegals and openly trafficking in illegal drugs, it’s not enough to build just one small wall,” Kellyanne Conway told reporters on CNN. “We’ve been looking at a more ambitious program to build walls on state borders, too. In some places we’re even looking at walls around counties, towns, or cities.”

Political scientist Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador told reporters, “Trump and his sons are going to cash in majorly on what promises to be the biggest building program of all time. They’re going to build a grid of walls across the entire nation, the equivalent of 10,000 Great Walls of China. By restricting the movement of citizens in this way, Trump will be able to effectively sanction local governments. By the time they’re done outlining every county, they’ll probably keep building and building. Walls around neighborhoods, walls around homes, walls inside of homes dividing up families.”

Trump’s spokesperson also hinted to reporters at CNN on future plans for an “Atlantic Wall” that will line the coasts and prevent any possibility of invasion or illegal migration through the ocean.

INTERNET — Donald Trump took to twitter Monday, tweetstorming fans “My very first executive order will END the chemtrailing across America. #MAGA”

Trump’s controversial tweets were deleted within an hour of posting.

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, lead chemtrail engineer under Obama, told reporters, “Geoengineering with chemtrails is the only thing keeping away catastrophic climate change. Yes, it’s costly both to our health, government, and environment, but it’s better than failing farms and outright starvation.”

Trump also tweeted, “I will END autism in America by banning all vaccinations on my very first day in office.” The other day Trump’s transition team tapped famous anti-vaxxer Dr. Oz for Surgeon General.

Trump has critics fearing for their lives with his final tweet, “We have a very special surprise for THE MEDIA, CROOKED HILLARY, and ISIS! #MAGA” suggesting a crackdown on political opponents by associating them with terrorism. Previously, Trump has hinted at the return of internment camps for all Muslims and Mexicans, although this is the first hint that journalists and political opponents will be targets of his totalitarian takeover.