APOCALYPSE–Today, bomb threats swept across America in a perfectly orchestrated CIA plot. Meanwhile, a former Anonymous leader–who has rumored ties to the CIA–was arrested for planning attacks on the children of FBI agents. In the Middle East, the showing of a mysterious film ignited anti-American riots that ended in the murder of an American ambassador. Is it possible that this film wasn’t the work of the CIA?

All of these events marked the 11th anniversary of September 11, 2001, putting an already xenophobic American public on edge. Canada recently severed diplomatic ties with Iran, and the IAEA condemned the Iranian nuclear program.

What follows now is a matter of speculation, but we can be sure whatever plan is unraveling will Destroy The Entire Earth.

UPDATE: Critics widely panned Bob Dylan’s newest album, released on September 11th, for alleged plagiarism. This comes on the heels of fifty years of Dylan’s “plagiarism,” which folk and blues fans know is actually the rule and not the exception. The critics, possibly tipped off by the CIA, have undermined the potency of America’s greatest protest musician, and there is nothing left but the whiny Occupy songs of Tom Morello. This is also seen by many as a move to clamp down on intellectual property, after the SOPA legislation failed to pass earlier this year.

A lot of people are now saying Barrett Brown is a “performance artist” or a “satirist” and that he was not serious about these threats. While that certainly confirms everything I want to believe about him, because I’m an Official Anonymous Spokesperson and Representative as well, it just doesn’t hold any ketchup. The feds have never “come after me,” and I’ve written just as many Anonymous screeds as Brown, if not more! Some of which have been circulated far beyond the reach of Barrett Brown. But you don’t know me because I totally take the Anonymity thing seriously and I’m more into teachin’ people stuff than just confirming their bias.

This video is just the threats and the relevant context, of course. Some of us don’t have 45 minutes to waste on the conspiracy ramblings of an insane person. I sped up the boring parts, not to mock the quite obviously insane and in need of help Barrett Brown, but rather to save you 35% of the sympathetic pain. Don’t laugh! It’s wrong to laugh at the insane! No one deserves jail, but we are our brothers keepers, and obviously someone could’ve been badly hurt. Probably not “Agent Smith” or his kids, but who’s to say? Brown looked ready to jump off the balcony.

Kids, don’t do drugs. I do drugs, but let’s be honest. Some people can’t be content with a little reefer and alcohol and the occasional mushroom, acid, or DMT trip, and they start puttin’ it in their blood. I’m against the injection of drugs into veins; you can get hantavirus that way, or even West Nile. Next thing you know, you’ve got an imaginary revolution on your hands and the feds are busting in on ya for threatening to “look into” their kiddies.

This is hyperbole, baby, at its best! They just don’t make orators like THIS anymore.