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Tea Party bombs Occupy Maine, threatens to Stab Occupy New Mexico

Sunday morning, jacked up on a fresh dose of religious indoctrination, two men affiliated with the Tea Party attempted acts of violence against the 99%. In Maine, a chemical bomb was detonated in the camper’s kitchen areas. In New Mexico, a man drew a knife and asked the occupants, “Who wants to be first?”

These events follow a fatal spree-killing of Occupy DC protesters earlier this month.

No protesters were hurt in the latest attacks. Analysts have suggested violence against protesters has taken a steep climb, and the protesters may just want to go home now if they value their lives.

Mike Flanagan of the Tea Party said “This nonsense is the devil’s work and we are brave crusaders for American Capitalism and Christ approves. I smile when I hear these stories about the devil’s failure.”

It has come as no surprise that Tea Party members have made attempts at violence against their rivals in the Occupy movement. The Tea Party regularly carries loaded guns to their protests just in case anyone should get a bright idea about health care or abortion, and in case the illegal president might show his ugly half black face.

In conclusion, quit while you’re ahead. You should be afraid, sitting in your tent, because the conservative echo chamber’s been told you are the devil. You might die if you keep protesting, so just go home, okay?

 

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Uncontrollable Patriotism

What 1984 taught us

Investigative Editorial

Why on earth would they teach that in a public school when so hard the media fought against it? Show us the news in schools from now on. Let’s watch the war live this 2012. It really is the end times.

The Mayans predicted there’d be no one to vote for.

Michelle Obama demonstrates a secret communist socialist gang sign
Michelle Obama demonstrates a secret communist socialist gang sign.

A vote of no confidence on voting. Remember when first ladies did stuff? I mean at least Tipper Gore made us look at awesome EXPLICIT LYRICS labels on our music (so the cool kids know what to buy). Michelle Osama, what’s she done besides smuggle terrorists across the border on Air Force Won? What’s she done besides destroy our economy? What’s she done besides live off welfare? I’m tired of paying her way! I work. I pay my $65 in child support every month. Where are my government handouts?

Sometimes when I play the piano I feel like I’m hearing explicit lyrics. [the following is the sound of Old Brutus playing the piano: BANG YREAH BITCH PING PING PING PING BANG BITCH YEAAAAH]

WHERE WERE YOU!?I SAID I PAY MY CHILD SUPPORT. Where was you, bitch! Where was you! Where was YOUR DAD OBAMA (Kenya) when you needed child support? They don’t like government handouts in the fucking savanna either, do they Black Obama? Why you gotta fuck your own people man? It’s cool for people to shit you out in the desert and you can become president but Mexicans who do it can’t even be citizens? Fucking hypocrite. I say lynch ’em all! God damn it!

WHERE’S DARYN MORAN?

Oh there he is

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News Uncontrollable Patriotism

Senator Leahy is so fucked

[audio:https://chronicle.su/wp-content/uploads/leahy1.mp3|titles=Love for Leahy]
Leahy, Sinister of the Protect IP Act
Leahy looking old

Knowing the kind of scum he is for sponsoring the Protect IP Act, Senator Gayhy will most probably spin my phone call as a threat and have my INTERNETZ REVOKED

Senator Leahy is so confused by computers, he had to ask his son to explain the family’s brand new abacus.

Senator Leahy is so corrupted by corporate greed Crayola paid him to endorse their newest green crayon.

Senator Leahy is so committed to the destruction of the bill of rights, he has a bell in his office that rings every time Facebook transacts your information with the government. The bell is broken. In place of silence, he hears the faint screaming of souls.

Senator Leahy can only get hard when someone challenges him to abuse women’s rights in new and exciting ways.

john warner has shooting heroin
john warner has graduated to heroin.