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Aerosolized Vaccine to be distributed to Americans via “chemtrailing”

“INTERNET — Wednesday, the Biden administration rolled out plans to spray aerosolized mRNA COVID-19 vaccine over rural areas with low vaccination rates. The aerosolized vaccine, developed by pharmaceutical giant J&J, is “safe and effective” when administered by aircraft.

President Biden told reporters, “We can’t have these podunk towns incubating dangerous new strains of a deadly virus just because they think that’s going to make them more free. That’s the kind of malarkey that is getting thousands of Americans killed.”

“Today, I signed an order allowing for the wholesale spraying of the safe and effective aerosolized Corona vaccine, in several areas with shockingly low vaccination rates,” President Biden told reporters.

Opponents of the vaccine have suggested taking precautions appropriate for imminent chemical warfare, and some rural towns have reported a surge in sales of duct tape, plastic sheeting, and air purifiers. However, Biden’s announcement comes nearly a month after the military began secretly administering the vaccine.

Gerald Helmsworth of LaPlace, Indiana, hailed this announcement as “doomsday” and has been posting to facebook from inside of his fallout shelter. “This is the big one, folks, the final and ultimate push for patriot genocide. He’s sprayin’ us down with that poison since we wouldn’t inject it ourselves.”

Bug-eyed and shaking, Helmsworth told his facebook fans, “On the one hand, you have to give it to him. I didn’t think he had it in him. On the other hand, I’m prepared. This bunker is hermetically sealed, with ten air scrubbers lined up just for this occasion. I honestly feel bad for you if you think that duct tape on your windows will do anything at all.”

10 replies on “Aerosolized Vaccine to be distributed to Americans via “chemtrailing””

Old Brutus says:
September 30 at 10:02 am

Since the 1960s the FBI have used informants and moles to get into radical groups and sway the attitude. Why do you think Anonymous turned so weak and watered down once it became a mainstream topic? Did you think CNN and FOX News exposure would democratize the movement? Be real, man.

You’re probably older than 41 and so you know this is what that government agency was born to do over 100 years ago. During prohibition they infiltrated organized crime and befriended top bosses who became trusting life friends only to be pinched on a whim. Later, the FBI was best known for its role in undercover persuasion, kidnappings of notorious resistance figures and high-profile assassinations.

But that was in the mid 20th century. It’s 2021 boomers. New circumstance, new game, new rules. They’re among us. They are your friends. Anonymous is weak.

The only truly pure movement is the bowel movement. The sooner you get off the Anonymous teet the better, because it’s Rat City out there.

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