Tag: kim jong un

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World

KIM JONG UN DOWNED

This is the last known photograph of Kim Jong Un sitting upright. Kim, now bed-ridden, is gleefully addicted to massively multiplayer online role-playing games.
This is the last known photograph of Kim Jong Un sitting upright. Kim, now bed-ridden, is gleefully addicted to massively multiplayer online role-playing games.

PYONGYANG — Kim Jong Un was “downed” Saturday, with medics from China rushing to get him back up. Internet Chronicle reporters gained exclusive access to Kim’s private quarters, where he lay in a state of uncertainty.

“He’s somewhere in between alive and dead,” Dr. Troubador, our in-house medical doctor said. “He could pop right back into action at any time, just like Terry Schiavo. With China coming in, I wouldn’t write that possibility off just yet.”

Kim currently looks like this, only on his back now, with eyes closed.
Kim currently looks like this, only on his back now, with eyes closed.

“He might just be doing this whole ‘I’m dead’ thing for the attention,” said one Anonymous Juche party insider, who asked not to be named due to great personal risk to himself, his entire extended family, and their pets. “He’s been hate watching the daily Trump briefings and nearly blew his lid with the comment about sunlight in the body, injecting disinfectant. Kim demanded we shoot him full of ‘Rona that minute.”

Number Stations which were previously dormant for decades are now alive with cryptic messages, often delivered in an original, alert, and hasty fashion not seen since Kim Jong Il died of a heart attack almost 9 years ago.

A team of ten thousand American intelligence agents are intensely monitoring these energetic and upbeat “number stations” embedded in Kim’s palace, including “steamy” emissions from a smart TV and Alexa device “air-gapped” by the Space Force.

According to a Pentagon official close to the Chronicle: “They did it, they pumped the Corona into his blood. It seems like they hit a vein heading for his head, causing what many doctors in North Korea believe might be brain death, and the first known case to medical science of a COVID-19 infection starting in the brain.”

COVID-19, named after the year of its discovery, 2019, is a comparatively ancient disease to inflict on a modern, forward-thinking Supreme Leader like Kim Jong Un, Troubadour noted. “It’s so ironic, when you think about it.”

Will North Korea let Kim rule his country from a permanent vegetative state, or is it time to pull the plug?

It could be the case that Kim can still hear the outpouring of praise and thanks from Juche Party officials around his bedside, according to Anonymous.

During our man-on-the-street interviews in Cuthbert, Ga. a young Korean boy named Min-Jun approached one of our reporters with his hands where we could see them.

“How heartbreaking would it be if it was you in that bed, listening to your sister making plans to test nukes and neutralize “threats” — but they were your old drinking buddies?” asked the boy with an unusually mature perspective. “You probably wouldn’t get it.”

Gerard Boucher of Georgia – where coronavirus does not affect us – told the Chronicle, “It is too soon to tell. I don’t think you oughta pull the plug if there’s a chance Kim’s alive in there. He’s good friends with the president, you know. Great friends. Sad!”

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Uncontrollable Patriotism

Rodong Sinmun

No Nuclear Umbrella

Dear Leader

PYONGYANG– The U.S., noisily advertising about its commitment to provision of nuclear umbrella, is stuffing its latest nuclear war equipment into south Korea.

Unaware of what a miserable fate is befalling on them, the south Korean puppets are running headlong into an adventure of attacking the DPRK on a nuke war chariot of the U.S.

Backed by outside forces, they are hell-bent on igniting a nuclear war against the DPRK.

Some time ago, the U.S. suddenly activated its nuclear strategic bomber B-2A to make a sortie to the air of the Korean Peninsula from the U.S. mainland to commit drills of striking a ground target and transferred stealth fighters F-22 Raptors to south Korea from the U.S. air force base at Kadena, Okinawa.

Prior to it, formation of the U.S. nuclear strategic bomber B-52 repeatedly flew to south Korea to stage DPRK-targeted actual nuclear strike drills and its nuclear-powered submarine Cheyenne that had carried out the task of preemptive attack in the 2003 Iraqi war staged joint sea drills with the south Korean puppets.

Of late, the U.S. dispatched interceptor missile-loaded Aegis destroyers John S. McCain, Decatur and the mobile sea radar for detection of ballistic missiles “SBX-1” to the waters around the Korean Peninsula, driving the situation close to a threshold of war.

In a din to provoke a nuclear war against the DPRK, the warmongers converted south Korea into an unprecedented showplace of the U.S. nuclear arms.

It is not a mere saber-rattling, but a prelude to war.

It is utterly silly for the south Korean puppets to want to evade from a shower of our nuclear strike under the nuclear umbrella of their U.S. master.

Now, the U.S. cannot afford to take care of its stooges.

The U.S. has so far swaggered that its existing missile defense system is strong enough to counter the missile threat from north Korea.

But, recently the U.S. gave up even a plan to deploy its MD system in Europe and additionally established its interceptor missile system to defend the mainland.

The south Korean puppets also know its reason well probably.

All has changed today.

Our nuclear deterrent has been boosted up in both quality and quantity. The character of confrontation between the DPRK and the U.S. changed fundamentally.

Of late, U.S. military experts sneered at the remarks of the U.S. Defense Secretary that the U.S. army can undoubtedly protect the U.S. and south Korea from the North’s nuclear threat. They warned that in case the DPRK applies a more singular method, the counter of the U.S. and south Korea would become more miserable and the moment when the North decides to strike, the U.S. would spend very appalling hours.

They made really meaningful comments.

DPRK’s nuclear shower will break the U.S. nuclear umbrella so mercilessly that the warmongers cannot even repent of anything.

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Video

MUST SEE TV DPRK


The film you are about to see may shock and disturb you, especially as a DPRK national living on US soil (God help you).

It is the sad duty of [ALL SOVCHRON EDITORIAL STAFF] to fulfill the wishes of Our Dear Leader who shares the opinion that there is simply no other alternative than to illuminate the hidden perils of the Western Imperialists and their pernicious threat to our glorious nation.

You may feel compelled to look away during certain moments, but for the Glory of God do not avert your eyes!

These revelations are the direct result of the miraculous visions of Our Eternal President who, in his eternal wisdom, commissioned intellectual observers [spy nationals] to Seoul for evidence collection of this threat against the DPRK and innocent citizens worldwide.