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Pentagon declassifies footage of UFOs getting the hell away from Earth

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Pentagon has declassified breathtaking video footage that clearly shows UFOs getting the absolute fuck away from the Earth as fast as scientifically possible.

In this previously leaked footage, Navy Cmdr. David Fravor and his massive unit were sent to check out strange, unidentified objects descending from 80,000 to 20,000 feet, and then disappearing. After several failures, the crew excitedly gets a lock on one of the targets, a rotating “tic tac” shaped UFO, allowing the camera to follow the otherworldly visitor until it left the Earth in its dust, man.

Fravor said he had not seen a vessel moving away from an object at that speed since Prince Andrew’s final departure from the Buckingham Palace.

The Duke, seen here leaving Buckingham Palace, makes the ‘now everyone knows I rape kids’ face.

“I can tell you, I think it was not from this world,” Fravor told Internet Chronicle. “I’m not crazy, haven’t been drinking. After 18 years of flying, I’ve seen pretty much about everything that I can see in that realm, and this was nothing close. Not to mention, they did not seem at all impressed with Earth, and left in the fastest hurry I have ever seen.”

Video footage shows UFOs getting the hell out of Dodge.

What were they running away from?

For some reason the aliens want nothing to do with us, Dr. Angstrom Troubadour mansplained from the Lebal Drocer Planetarium in Tour D’ivoire.

Maybe they find our alien atmosphere unsuitable, Troubadour hypothesized. Maybe we are just too far from the nearest neighboring star.

Maybe they hate our freedom, and couldn’t hack it here.

We have no idea what it could possibly be.

“Whatever. They’ll be back.”

— Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadour, Lebal Drocer

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PENTAGON IGNORES NEW EVIDENCE, CALLING L.A. UFO EXPLOSION ‘A MISSILE TEST’

CHRONICLE.SU EXCLUSIVE — The Pentagon has refused to address a series of photos which contradict government claims that strange lights seen over Los Angeles late Saturday night were attributable to a naval missile test.

Dozens of reports claim the object in the sky exploded and disappeared, but not before a missile made its way toward the object, exploding nearby, and evaporating both objects into the night sky.

Blind people wish they could see these harrowing images
“It looks like a missile was fired at the object.”

The event took place at very high altitude and could be seen from as far away as Las Vegas and Mexico.

The US Government is calling the event a failed missile test, but their explanation does not account for the presence of what onlookers say “were clearly two objects in the night sky.”

High definition video [below] shows part of the event.

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UFO books in public school libraries are a deliberate disinformation campaign planted by the U.S. Government

We make a lot of money talking about the truth on Lebal Drocer, Inc. Radio HATE at chronicle.su after-hours. Thursday we talked about aliens with accomplished author Kilgore Trout, an expert on aliens and the paranormal who is currently laboring over the Internet Anti-Hero Handbook (tentatively titled). He explained the possibility that extraterrestrials are either too small, nimble or by some other means imperceptible. Tyler Bass, renowned Washington journalist and Capitalist, indicated the Roswell crash was a false flag cover-up. Beefrave concurred that the United States Government may very well be encouraging the promulgation of UFO conspiracies.

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