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Health

Elaine Miller: lolcow turned trollcow, and Havana Syndrome survivor

London—420chan discord user Elaine Miller, or Trollcow – a lolcow sensation who spun her victimhood into a narrative of countertrolling – seems to have turned her life around, even if she still walks the same circles knee deep in the rotten troll-or-be-trolled quagmire where she resides.

Kiwifarms and its like-minded cyberstalker collectives are daunting arenas for the faint of heart. But that is not all Miller has overcome. For her, life in the crosshairs was both figurative, and literal.

Within the last few years Miller claims to have suffered – and recovered – from the devastating effects of Havana Syndrome, a psychological and physiological sickness whose effects were first experienced en masse by American embassy workers in Cuba.

Microwave and other directed energy weapon attacks can stop the heart, according to research by the Internet Chronicle Institute of International Espionage in Northern Virginia.

Who targeted her and why, as well as the aftermath, fallout, and lessons learned would have been up for discussion on the Sept. 2 episode of Hate Radio AM. Unfortunately, Trollcow went dark and was nowhere to be found at the time of airing.

With Miller effectively silenced, the program would have to continue without her invaluable input and experiences as a targeted individual surviving, and recovering from, the mysterious Havana Syndrome.

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE

Elaine Miller has been found.

She was sleeping. Upon waking she floated effortlessly into Studio Hate on a pillow of howling rage. In her chronicle.su in-depth exclusive, Trollcow recounts life with Havana Syndrome, Josh Moon of Kiwifarms, the tragic and mysterious death of Martin Skinner, and the strange, still-unexplained medical devices the two were made to wear.

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Technology

AI logs keystrokes by sound alone, putting noisy mechanical keyboard users at greatest risk

Even the Silent Reds are decipherable through artificial intelligence, according to a new paper by a team of researchers from British universities. Their paper on acoustic side channel attack, released last week, says AI can identify keystrokes with 95% accuracy through sound alone.

In the study, experimenters correctly identified keystrokes on a MacBook Pro, overheard through a nearby phone, 95% of the time.

Advertisers from Lebal Drocer, Inc. have already begun using the new technology to learn more about their customers through keystrokes than they ever learned overhearing conversations through the microphone about toilet paper.

Chief researcher at the Lebal Drocer Institute of Consumer Studies, Albert H. Troudemaeier, said he was able to get his colleagues’ passwords during a Zoom meeting.

“No matter the context, if there’s a keyboard singing, this software knows the tune,” Troudemaeier said. “With recent developments in microphone technology, as well as deep learning models, the rate at which we can determine what our customers want, need — what they fear — has expanded by analyzing the very content of their keystrokes, enabling us to serve them better than we ever could before. It’s very powerful, and uses existing hardware access everyone has already agreed to it in the terms of service.”

Laptops are ideal vectors for analysis because of their portability. People take their laptops to work in public spaces like libraries, whorehouses, and university lecture halls, where the sound of typing is recorded, unnoticed, by every other laptop in the room.

“You can hide your screen,” Troudemaeier said, “but you can’t hide that unmistakable sound. We will find you.”

This message is brought to you by the Lebal Drocer Super Surfin’ Keyboard. With our laser projected keyboard, no one will hear you cumming.

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News

Top streamer xQc dead at 27

INTERNET — Fans mourn the loss of Félix Lengyel, better known as xQc. Mr. Lengyel was found dead in his apartment after friends became worried when he failed to go live for almost half a day.

Lengyel’s vast fortune has been disbursed to Blizzard Entertainment, Kick Streaming, and Twitch TV, as per his contracts.

xQc fan Herman Kilroy, a ninth grade student from Seattle, told reporters, “I was still going to watch but I was afraid to talk about him like we usually do at lunch. He was just so cringe, you know? But now that he’s dead, that’s kind of sad.”

Friends first became worried after xQC lost a debate with another content creator this weekend.

“After that debate, Félix was shaken. He came to hang out with me for a couple of hours and drink a few beers, which is very rare these days. I haven’t seen a lot of him. He was obsessed, he wouldn’t talk about anything else. He felt like Ethan had ruined his career and that he’d made a fool out of himself,” longtime friend Connor Morenstein posted to Lengyel’s facebook. “The rumor is that he hung himself with a microphone cable. Grim.”

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, media analyst with Google, told reporters, “We’re seeing massive fluctuating numbers coming through our content systems. My friend at Twitch says it’s the same over there. I’m afraid we’ve built our content up like a house of cards, canceling every potential franchise and promoting the most faddish nonsense for short term gains. This whole place is going to go the way of MTV.”