Michael Jackson ‘spotted in Afghanistan’

Eyewitness reports from Afghanistan suggest a tall, pale white figure is taking advantage of vulnerable youth.

KABUL, Afghanistan – Strange new reports from American intelligence officials in Afghanistan suggest the sudden appearance of an unlikely face among the turmoil. Legendary pop star and homosexual pedophile Michael Jackson, who is widely believed to have died . . .

Slavoj Zizek dead at 65

zizek-nose

Slavoj Žižek showed signs of cocaine addiction for several years leading up to his death.

Ljubljana, Slovenia – Fans mourn the loss of 65-year-old Marxist commentator Slavoj Žižek, who lost his lifelong battle with cocaine addiction Monday.

Though he was not considered by intellectuals to be a “true” philosopher, which bothered him deeply, Žižek . . .

Charles Manson breaks silence on #GamerGate: ‘Look at your game, girl’

Manson

2009 screenshot from Manson’s canceled reality TV show ‘Manson Family Values.’

INTERNET – After waiting for Internet Shitstorm of the Year to die down, the scariest man in Hollywood, Charles Manson has finally cast his characteristically centered, and thought-out opinion on a divisive row taking place between #TheRedPill-ers, who fight for . . .

Experts Reveal the Internet Chronicle is a Real Site

Suck our hammer and sickle, baby, we’re on the right side of history.

HAMBURG, Germany — While the world watched in amazement at the “Hell-in-a-cell” twitter-war between bitter rivals The Tor Project and Pando Daily, a humble researcher named Jacob Appelbalm gave a presentation at the Chaos Computer Clubs’ 31st Congressional hearing, in . . .

Internet “gets real” after murder goes viral

The Internet kills thousands of people each year, including CHILDREN.

The Internet was responsible for an estimated 2,460 deaths in 2014: an alarming trend as the number of Internet-related murders triples, doubles, double-triple-double-double-triple-checks each year.

26-year-old Maria Constanelli, who died on New Year’s Eve when a craigslist response went dangerously . . .

New Year’s Eve attack on freedom imminent

These people were not invited back for the 2014/2015 celebration.

Drunks participating in the ball drop at New York City were invited to join the 2015 attack on freedom 2015, promised of course to herald the new year with a promise of wonderful 2016 campaign promises. * (I am drunk)

I mean do you . . .

The New Sabu: FBI says #ObamaSec informants behind Lizard Squad attack on Sony, Microsoft

LizardMafia #OFFLINE

In a shocking, but not unprecedented Christmas day network attack, it is difficult to determine just who, in this winter story, is the real Grinch. However, new testimony from an anonymous FBI source under the pseudonym Robert Smith suggests informants are once again behind another round of malicious . . .

Why North Korea Was Behind the Sony Hack, for Silly Heads!

What a prick.

1. The Computer Virus was Programmed in ‘Oriental’ – OK, I’m no expert in Chinese, Japanese, Cantenese or English, but I know what North Korean programming looks like when I see it. After reviewing the source code and reading the emails, I’ve come to the conclusion that this is a . . .

Jack Black Dead at 45

Jack Black is Dead

HOLLYWOOD — Jack Black, comedic actor, died Monday evening after suffering a severe stroke at the age of 45. Fans mourn the loss of Jack Black and suspect his death was related to overindulgence in candy over several decades.

Black was rumored to have rented out a candy store . . .

Sony insider says US Gov’t financed ‘The Interview’ production

Dear Leader

Sony source says US Government financed Hollywood flop film ‘The Interview’

In a sudden and perfunctory turn of events, information obtained from a high-ranking source inside Sony appears to corroborate allegations made by North Korean leadership, saying that the US Government may have played a “large role” in financing the James Franco-Seth Rogen Hollywood . . .