14-year-old Bitcoin broker braces for anarchy by 3D printing his own guns

chomsky-anarchism

“I injected it right into my fuckin’ eyeballs,” said Adam Goralski, a 14-year-old Roanoke, Va. native who recently became addicted to ideology. Adam said he used the Internet to administer his first doses of cyberlibertarian bitcoin paranoia.

“I just thought about all the freedoms we don’t have, pertaining to bitcoin, and Rand Paul . . .

Trigger Warning: 2015 Black Friday Hategasm

Earth Day protest at VCU

The deals were in short supply this year, but the violence was not. For your hateful enjoyment, open an ice cold Coca-Cola and watch people behave like animals just hours after eating Thanksgiving dinner. Be sure to laugh at them, and judge, as if you aren’t just as bad as the rest of them.

. . .

Lebal Drocer ‘Pain-Spray’ Offers Cheap, Easy Solution to Complex Emotional Trauma

LEBAL DROCER

Grieving? Destitute? Has the cruel pointlessness of life got you down? Teachers, preachers and therapists might offer tedious solutions with no guaranteed success. Don’t just sit there and “pray” the pain away. Now you can Spray the pain away — with SprayPain!

New from Lebal Drocer Laboratories, SprayPain™ takes the hassle out of . . .

Trolled Into Exile: The Histrionic Death Rattles of Andrew Aurenheimer

An unlikely alliance? Neo-nazi internet troll 'Weev' is now advising ISIS in propaganda operations.

ZAGREB — Weev, the internet troll Andrew Aurenheimer, wrenches his mouth open with both hands: He’s got big things to say. Nothin’ really comes out but the smell of gluten free gut rot — his digestive system is on display: a moebius clump knotted around an impossible constipation so extreme it’s a wonder he . . .

New Subway spokesperson touts strong track record of adult-only pornography

subway-eat-fresh

New Subway official spokesman: “I have no interest in your beautiful children, regardless of the fact they might love and actively seek out sexual relationships with me.”

Social media is abuzz with hype over the unveiling of Subway’s new spokesman. After news broke of legendary Subway spokesman Jared Fogle’s involvement in a child porn . . .

I don’t care because you do

aphex-twin

Put on the Aphex Twin and listen to me hate

Fuck all of you who suddenly care about people in Paris, people in Uganda, and people scooping oil sands out of the Niger Delta (oh wait, it isn’t time to care about them yet?).

You know who you are: You just saw it on the . . .

In wake of Paris Attacks, Edward Snowden Returns to the United States

Edward Snowden’s jet moments before it was boarded by a SWAT team

INTERNET — Friday evening, eyewitnesses at San Francisco International Airport tweeted in astonishment as a SWAT team boarded an Aeroflot passenger jet from Russia as it was still rolling in on the tarmac. Edward Snowden was extracted in handcuffs as the . . .

PENTAGON IGNORES NEW EVIDENCE, CALLING L.A. UFO EXPLOSION ‘A MISSILE TEST’

Blind people wish they could see these harrowing images

CHRONICLE.SU EXCLUSIVE — The Pentagon has refused to address a series of photos which contradict government claims that strange lights seen over Los Angeles late Saturday night were attributable to a naval missile test.

Dozens of reports claim the object in the sky exploded and disappeared, but not before a missile made its way toward . . .

Remember, Remember, Anonymous November

Bieber was seen wearing a Guy Fawkes mask in support of Anonymous.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT REGARDING ANONYMOUS

V For Vendetta was a turd film for shit-minded people – people like Anonymous – who flock like birds to the government birdseed.

Eat shit and die, you dimwitted pack of nobody, followers. You people are losers.

Anonymous is cancer.

. . .

Bug chaser seeks pos-party: ‘I just want to catch a disease’

Zoë Quinn

I am a 19-year-old trans gay boi looking for unlimited bare back action at a pos party near me.

I will get up in the sex chair and let you do whatever to me all night, provided you are HIV-positive.

I have heard that if I already have AIDS I can combine it with someone . . .