Ye fiyad: Steve Bannon terminated when adults enter Oval Office

Throughout his life and career, Steve Bannon practiced looking old. “And then one day,” he said, “it just happened.

WASHINGTON, D.C.–Globalist hologram Donald Trump, who simply could not pass up last week’s opportunity for “biggest termination yet,” held a private White House ceremony, where the Trump cabinet bore witness to the “degrading, pathetic and shameful” termination of Steve Bannon, the parrot who fed Trump talking points about issues ranging from global warming to isolationist policy.

The media is hush on reasons behind Bannon’s possible firing. No one is ready to talk about it, but some have acknowledged it has a “you done fucked up, son” sort of vibe about it.

One source, however, discussed the ceremony under the condition of anonymity, because of their close association with the current administration’s line of executive, jewel-encrusted cat litter boxes, and because the media should keep its mouth shut.

“They took Stevie to the back first,” the source told Internet Chronicle on Saturday. “I don’t know what they done to him, but when Stevie came out, he looked like he’d been touched, sexually, by an angel. It was beautiful.”

The source told Internet Chronicle nude figures in hooded cloaks surrounded Bannon, chanting the DOW Industrial Average in realtime as they closed in on him.

“Then they pulled up the sheets they were wearing, they squatted down, and took turns defecating on his face,” the source said. “One by one, ExxonMobil executives and defense contractors took turns dehumanizing the little old feller until he refused to talk. They were yelling at him, too, going, ‘Money [T]rumps ideology!’ It really worked us all up into a sympathy for him, after it was over.”

The source said there is no way to tell whether the corrective Oval Office ceremony will have any lasting effect on Bannon’s mental health, but already, other radical media personalities are feeling the sting of timeout, as Adults from the Government entered the room.

Alex Jones descended into an uncharacteristic tirade last week, when it looked like White House access could leave with Steve Bannon. All the toys were out, when the Daddies got home.

“It was balls out, man. Balls out.”

Trump is playing the quiet game, now that it looks like crazy baby missiles can hit California. Un awaits

16 Replies to “Ye fiyad: Steve Bannon terminated when adults enter Oval Office”

  1. Best Twitter meltdown(s) ever (not in any paticular order):

    1) @LouiseMensch (currently & on going)
    2) @VinceInTheBay (also calls FBI hotline to talk about doxxxbin)
    3) @realDonaldTrump (24-7)
    4) Randy Hahn (both on Twitter, where his current account is suspended & Blog Talk
    Radio https://soundcloud.com/n1k_nak/randy-hahn-meltdown-mix-n1knak
    5) @[email protected] (for his ‘I am fed and I killed TriCk’ permformance)
    6) @th3j35t3r (too many times to list, doe menopause plays a big part)
    7) @/suebasko (too many times to list, AGAIN menopause plays a big part)
    8) Joseph Camp (isn’t he still in one your holiday, I mean prison camps?)
    9) @BarrettBrownLOL (threatens to doxxx and shoot FBI agents, now on parole)
    10) ???

    1. if u had seen what louise has seen, if u had done what louise has done,if u had eaten what louise has eaten, u had gone mental too.

  2. There a video from around Christmas time (it’s on his ED page) of him taking to an FBI hotline operator, AND the operator hangs up on Vunce. It’s both sad and hilarious but not as funny as his mom on BTR telling him put gas in their family car. So both VITB and Camp plus Sue Brasco was also in the mix too around that time.
    HONORABLE MENTION: CommanderX’s suicide note on pastebin

    1. Yikes! How embarrassing, to have your suicide note on pastebin, without ever following through with the suicide.

      I mean, I’m supposed to say, “Nooo, don’t do it,” but let’s face it: You gotta have an iron will to pull a trigger or swallow them old murderpills, or else it would not be so diminishing.

      Like, what if after Cobain writing “Peace, Love and Empathy,” he didn’t shoot himself, but just pushed himself to go on living, and to create increasingly mediocre music as people yelled “peace love and empathy” toward you on stage because it leaked anyway.

      1. Well what was interesting and didnt go unnoticed at the time was that shm00p whiteknighted X’s sucide threat on twitter. So knowing now what happened with shm00p it puts that, and everyone doxing themselves in support of certain member of RL in a whole different light. Someone cough, cough (and not Adrian Chen) should write a correct story/book/novel instead that crap Parmy wrote. And why hasn’t @DoubleJake ever been a guess writer at the ye Olde chtonic since being off probation. Askin’ for half the internutz.

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