PRESSTORM SCRAMBLES TO SUPPRESS TRUTH

Internet– Jamie Jo Corne, real life journalist and publicist for presstorm.com, tragically resorted to posting nude photographs of herself via flickr after church Sunday following a bout with bulimia and self-hatred.

Mr. Corne, the editor of cesstorm who goes by @vincubusdante, came up with the idea while collaborating with outside experts on the matter of manipulating search results to save face and suppress dissent. [LEAKED AUDIO BELOW]

Inside sources close to presstorm suggest editorial duties have fallen upon the ancient @vincubusdante because his babymachine is too busy providing milk to the sucklings to defend herself.

Using Murdoch-approved hacked phone records and coercion techniques, Chronicle.SU recovered the actual phone call taking place between Mr. Corne and the Internet Police:

Leaked Presstorm Audio by ChronicleSU

9 Replies to “PRESSTORM SCRAMBLES TO SUPPRESS TRUTH”

    1. either a career or a last minute #opbaby to keep her within the confines of part time mommy part time blogger for a guaranteed 18 years. financed, of course, by that old man who probably actually works for a living, whose thanks is the responsibility of dealing with the trolls just so jamie will do some fucking mothering around the house

    1. It could have been worse. That hand could have succumbed to Jamie, like in the picture.

      But don’t curse the Corne! It’s not her fault facts don’t change according to her material. If you just lurk in the presstorm IRC you’ll find she’s correct about almost everything – and reality is the problem. Reality is wrong. She is right. I dare you to try and say otherwise.

      This message is brought to you by Lebal Drocer, Inc.
      We own everything that matters.

  1. CHRONICLE UPDATE [EDITOR’S EDITION]:
    Presstorm.com, apparently mastered by fascism, are now ostracizing people who question them and accusing them of associating with chronicle.su because they ask critical, useful questions.

    @Anonymously37 of Twitter is NOT associated with the chronicle.su – but because he asked Jamie why they need donations in order to blog, they said he is a troll and suggested his associations are to blame for the label they applied to him.

    https://twitter.com/#!/vincubusdante/status/118164720627879936
    https://twitter.com/#!/vincubusdante/status/118165520477470720
    https://twitter.com/#!/Anonymously37/status/118163901232857088
    And as usual, Kilgore gets the final w0rd:
    https://twitter.com/#!/Kilgoar/status/118171118933782529

  2. Gee… taht sure doesn’t sound like Dave…
    And, I truly like how people have to talk shit about the kids to make a point..
    true class

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