“Hello Games promised the universe, and they delivered,” says Steam user cUnTmOnk3y69. “No Man’s Sky is about sci-fi novel covers. You fly around and look at math visuals with unprecedented omniscience.”
Users reported getting stoned and playing the popular science fiction exploration game for upwards of 12 hours in a single sitting.
“Although it was pretty boring, we just kept doing it,” says Internet Chronicle game reviewer hatesec. “I upgraded my multi-tool several times. Sometimes that made it worse.”
No Man’s Sky
Interactive online multiplayer
Fly together with your friends, grief opponents online, and imagine yourselves entangled in some kind of operatic space fantasy, because you constantly need to escape.
Massive space battles
Join any faction, and your choices have huge impact on how the game deletes your progress after reaching the center of any galaxy.
You get it, the game kinda sucks but I’m being cute about it. Not worth $60. Not worth much, anyway.
It’s official: The hugely anticipated “Andy Griffith” is coming back, airing every Thursday night on NBC.
New Andy Griffith deploys modernized weaponry and rhetoric to reach “a fresh, young, and impressionable digital audience.”
CHRONICLE.SU editors were offered an exclusive first look at footage and scenes from the iconic show’s first new episode, including . . .
this is a message from hatesec’s attorney. my client has asked me to reproduce the following statement on his behalf:
“you should have never crossed me. i am so sorry. YOU just make me so MAD. i am sorry i can’t contain myself. we love you readers, it’s just that you only read what . . .
The Hatesec Stoned Numb Literary Review #27.i.II (2016 3rd Quarter)
Hi folks! By now you’ve probably already noticed the stellar piece of science fiction written by in-house author kilgoar trout, of mercurial fame and notoriety through chronicle.su. The Internet Chronicle is the only first website to be rated by the US House Committee . . .
Russian President Vladimir Putin officially endorsed Donald Trump
MOSCOW — Russian President Putin officially endorsed Donald Trump Thursday, following Trump’s call for Russian intelligence agencies to penetrate Hillary Clinton’s classified e-mails. This marks the first time the Russian state has made any official statement on an election in the US.
Putin told the press, . . .
The following is the thrilling continuation of Hypermart Syndrome.
You’re sitting in a plush genuine leather executive chair with a wide window to the outside world passing by in graceful silence. Glowing billboards are plied with a hint of class and flick over to craft furniture as you pass, which you realize you’ll . . .
The rare and valuable pokemon’s appearance in a Tokyo park triggered a deadly stampede after news of it spread on social media, Monday.
INTERNET — The popular alternate reality game, Pokemon Go, claimed ninety lives, Monday as Tokyo gamers flooded the Meiji Shrine Garden to capture the rarest of all Pokemon, Mewtwo. Reporters compared . . .
Raking in the sympathy accolades: honorable mentions for awards no one’s ever heard of from people who don’t know what the fuck this guy is on about but totally buy into the hype.
He went to prison and his girlfriend went over to Adrian Lamo and you wouldn’t believe the wild conspiracies. Who fuckin’ knows. . . .
hello internet. this is yo8ur captain speaking. i am hate sec and i have literally nothing for you. NOTHING. in my little hate soul was left for YOU because you weren’t good enough, but you’re all such excellent readers and i’d really liike to commend my staff for the wonderful work they’ve done.
what emoji . . .
Being President means living under constant threat of sudden rap battles.
Washington, D.C. — King Obama stands up from a throne of human bones and walks onto the balcony overlooking Pennsylvania Avenue.
‘Today is the day,’ he thinks. ‘Today it is finally going to happen.’
Having entered his third stage of molting, Obama sheds . . .