Controversial PS4 game ‘will raise a new generation of terrorists’

An all-new flight simulator game from the award-winning studio Naughty Dog puts gamersĀ  in the blood-stained cockpit of a freshly hijacked Boeing 747, and teaches them how to efficiently pilot the passenger plane into symbols of Western imperialism like the Twin Towers.

The game reportedly simulates the same terrorist act, again and again. According to testers, players will try for the highest death count by selecting their own date and time of attack, and strategically target the weakest points in the towers’ structures to maximize terror.

“Unbelievable,” raves The New York Times.

“Unthinkable … recklessly irresponsible.” — LA Times.

“You can literally keep doing 9/11.” — Internet Chronicle.

Developers at Naughty Dog have high hopes the game’s controversy could boost sales. An emailed early-access invitation advertises a few of the game’s key features: “Raise the alert level to ‘Threat level Orange’ to unlock the game-changing Inside Job power-up and impress your friends by permanently shifting world politics in … somebody’s favor!”

Another line from the email states players gain score multipliers by issuing high profile threats leading up to the attack: “You’re nobody’s fool! The decadent West who gave you so much money before has turned its back on you! Show them you mean Busine$$ by issuing pre-taped taunts and threats on VHS.”

Reaction to the negative press is only in its earliest infancy, as not even Tipper Gore is prepared to manufacture the amount of outrage it is going to take to demonstrate the undoubtedly negative reaction the game is expected to face from teachers, soccer moms, concerned citizens and the CIA.

Galileo: Science’s Biggest Fraud

There was no audience at Galileo’s trial.

Today’s secular world looks to science for truth and remembers the story of the persecution of Galileo to draw a false incompatibility between science and religion. We all know the story where Galileo agrees with the Copernican model placing the sun at the center of things . . .

Anonymous “Civil War” after Mounties blast knife wielder in Guy Fawkes mask

Anonymous tries to rally around its fallen comrades, but falls to pieces

CANADA — Royal Canadian Mounties blasted James Daniel McIntyre to death after he appeared at a protest against a local dam, wielding a knife. Because he reportedly wore a Guy Fawkes mask, what remains of the “hacking group” Anonymous has gone . . .

American ruling party composed of dangerous extremists

bullshit-election-2016

A 40-year coup, the United States is now under the spell of a dangerous cabal of extremist groups calling themselves the Republicans and Democrats. It is unclear who is actually in charge of the group, but sources have confirmed the Republicans and Democrats are sponsored by “global financial backers.”

The group raised alarms after a . . .

‘Anonymous’ fakes outrage over police murder of dude in a mask

anonymous

‘Anonymous’ is the lamest “movement” I’ve ever seen. First of all, they borrow their strongest image from a piece of shit Hollywood film thoughtlessly shoveled out in the general direction of teenagers who like big words. I know this because a lady I was banging when I was 19 showed it to me, and I . . .

Project Persona Management: The life and trials of failed Anonymous Leader Barry Brown

Barrett Brown called the chronicle.su to express his enthusiasm for Weev's fundraising campaign.

The Wonder Years

Barry kept a picture of Ayn Rand in his copy of Atlas Shrugged, which he read and reread, using the photo both as a masturbation aid and as a bookmark.

“Barry” his mother called from the kitchen, “Your flight for the safari is in two hours, are you packed and ready . . .

“Slave seating” airline plan opens new opportunities for slavers, military

mass-enslavement

A new patent jams more people into a plane than the best slave ships

SLAVERY — A patent for jamming more people into airplanes promises to bring new opportunities to the slave trade as well as terrifying new kinds of warfare.

“This patent won’t mean anything to the real slavers in Eastern Europe . . .

Redditors call for revival of the Confederacy

The South Will Rise Again

We gonna do it agin

FREE SPEECH EMERGENCY DISPATCH! PLEASE SHARE

 

Redditors everywhere are called on by their humble moderators to lobby state congressman for secession from the Union in order to create a better, Confederate tomorrow. Recently the North Korean communist in charge of Reddit, Chairman Ellen Pao, outlawed flying the . . .

Rebel on the Run: The Life and Trials of Anonymous Trucker Jamie Jo Corne

presstorm

NORFOLK, Va. – Jamie Jo Corne clings to General Lee as his battle wagon, a 74 Winnebago, struggling over the Rockies at three miles per hour, backing up traffic all the way to the grasslands, lapping against the snowcapped peaks.

“God Dammit I learned a lot of shit when I was investigating Anonymous. We . . .

Opinion: Reddit Moderators’ Strike veils hate-filled motivation

reddit alien

Chairman Pao’s defense of fat people, women, and the poor is widely considered to be a “dictatorship” by true freedom-loving American Redditors.

INTERNET — Forget the backdrop of Reddit administration cracking down on hateful subreddits like ‘Fat People Hate’, and forget the outright racist and ‘communist’ jokes aimed at interim CEO Ellen Pao . . .