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Categories
Politics

What's funnier than a dead baby? RICK SANTORUM!!!!1

What’s funnier than a dead baby? When Rick Santorum brings it home from the hospital and introduces it to the kids!

“Karen Santorum wrote a book about the experience: Letters to Gabriel: The True Story of Gabriel Michael Santorum.[11] In it, she writes that the couple brought the deceased infant home from the hospital and introduced the dead child to their living children as “your brother Gabriel” and slept with the body overnight before returning it to the hospital. The anecdote was also written about by Michael Sokolove in a 2005 New York Times Magazine story on Santorum.[1] Karen is also the author of a book on etiquette for children.[12]

Rick Santorum is opposed to accidental, biological abortion! That’s extreme enough for me. By god, ObamaCare’s going to kill my grandchildren. I don’t CARE if my daughter gets raped, that’s the kind of grandchild I WANT anyway. Finally! Someone with the courage to stand up against the DEVIL.

Vote for Rick Santorum 2012!

He will introduce the corpse of America to his children, and then cuddle the fetus all night with his wife. We need a president who doesn’t mind the smell of a baby in the first stages of decomposition! That is the state of America, thanks to Hussein Obama!

FAITH IN THE FACE OF DEATH! RICK SANTORUM 2012!

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Categories
Special Interest

A personal appeal from Chronicle.SU founder Ronny Nitro

A personal appeal from Chronicle.SU founder Ronny "Wayne" Nitro

The Chronicle provides the public with the service of factual and up-to-date information that other news sources fear. Under the umbrella of Lebal Drocer, we are provided with an endless supply of capital. However, we are facing a desperate shortage of GTFO.

I’m writing this today to beg of you, please, do your part. Without more GTFO, Chronicle.SU will simply be unable to feed the internet hate-machine.

Without GTFO, we might be stuck with hours’ – or even days’ – worth of your unwanted presence, wasting bandwidth and hogging up all the truth so others can’t have any. Share the truth. GTFO.

Without GTFO, we can not be bothered to produce the counterculture propaganda you couldn’t possibly think up for yourselves. You need us, and we need you, to GTFO.

The dual nature of GTFO is the driving force of the Chronicle.SU. Without GTFO, there can be nothing out of which to GTF.

That is because there is a whole world outside. In order to fully understand and appreciate the Chronicle, you must GTFO: experience the outside world, watch FOX News, or at least shop at Kroger. Then come back to the Chronicle, and bring with you, please, your generous contribution of GTFO.

We welcome small donations as well!

This message has been brought to you by recursion, and Lebal Drocer, Inc.

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Categories
Reviews Video новости

Redlight King releases hit single "Old Man" again for the first time

Someone else’s song

“Old Man” reaches the top of fictitious chart

Neil Young wrote it.

Redneck King
Redneck King

Corporate Rock sensation Redlight King was granted permission by Neil Young to sample [butcher] one of his finest works for the song.

The video features a skateboarder at the beginning, to rope in fans of Tony Hawk V or whatever’s next. It is cool.

Then, some undefinable hipster – wigger hybrids get in a fight, signifying the dissonance between the last generation’s ways and the pressures of today. So basically a confrontation between two irrelevant groups of people takes place, and you’re supposed to feel something. If your parents are white trash, then you can probably relate to what you see on-screen, maintaining the status quo.

Following this, a distraught-looking Weezer fan enters a bike shop and is confused by tires on the ceiling. The wheels in the sky keep on turning, maybe, but his life is obviously at a standstill – as signified by the fact he is in a Redlight King video. He thinks the motorcycle will take him places, perhaps now through his own bastardization of Easy Rider, minus the weed, because not only is marijuana for old fogies, but Redlight King tests for that stuff now.

The camera then pans across our straight-edge hipster biker-wigger moping in his Detroit squat of an apartment, while the words Old Man, look at my life shamelessly echo off the walls, washing over this embarrassment of a manchild you instantly identified with before realizing what a pussy he is; but it’s too late now.

He reviews disconnect notices for his iPhone and FiOs internet over a bowl of cereal, surrounded by pictures of a disappointed step-father.

Seeking fulfillment and quick cash, the antagonist enters a motorcycle race. He takes off and now you’re finally allowed to see a musical instrument, implying that Neil Young samples were not the only thing used for this song – that someone did in fact pick up a guitar, probably under duress, and most likely enveloped in anguish at the notion of having to resort to use of a talent. The lights are dim and we’re only shown the brief vibration of strings before the manchild reappears in a field after [losing] his motorcycle race.

The video ends on a disturbing note. Viewers discover that not only has the antagonist reproduced, he managed to score with a beautiful woman, ultimately creating this abomination:

Redlight King promotes unsustainable childbirth and theft of intellectual property. Neil Young is neither referenced nor apologized to throughout the course of the video, and you are dumber for watching it.

Redlight King is the trailer park hero of the modern South.

Redlight King is brought to you by Lebal Drocer, Incorporated.