Month: October 2011

Categories
News

Corporate commenters hassle Occupy Roanoke

On Sunday, over 200 people showed up at a local church to help organize Occupy Roanoke. The occupation, planned for this Saturday, has become a contentious issue in the Roanoke Valley. So much so that a related article published on WDBJ7  received over 40 comments in just a few days. One particular commenter, cxxi121, appears to be serving as a corporate shill, full of right wing talking points.

4chan copypasta? No, this is corporate trolling at its finest.

Cxxi121 has written hundreds of glowing five-star reviews on Amazon.com for everything from shower curtains to children’s markers. While there is no way to confirm that this user is under the pay of big business, these types of comments form a recognizable pattern. Such fake reviews are a well-documented phenomenon. “As online retailers increasingly depend on reviews as a sales tool, an industry of fibbers and promoters has sprung up to buy and sell raves for a pittance,” says the New York Times. And cxxi121, of Roanoke, Virginia appears to be a paid liar for corporate America.

Our corporate commenter waxes nostalgic about super glue. Perhaps he enjoys the scent a little over much?

And why should this person shy away from money for comments of a political nature? With such a long record of apparently paid-for commenting, it is no stretch to imagine that this Roanoker is also being paid to criticize this grassroots political movement. The talking points, such as class warfare (capitalized for emphasis) and anarchy, are obviously pulled straight from right-wing propaganda. In reality, Occupy Roanoke is incredibly far from the image portrayed by cxxi121. The group represents the demographics of the Roanoke Valley almost perfectly, containing a mixture of young, middle aged, and retired persons from all walks of life. Business owners and the unemployed alike will join on Saturday, and the lies of cxxi121 will hopefully have little, if any, impact.

Categories
Local Politics

Tea Party fanatic opens fire on the 99%

Monday, a Tea Party member distinguished himself as a true fanatic for America by opening fire on a crowd of the ‘99%’ protesters. In a crazed rant posted on youtube, the man referred to the massacre as his “Power Point presentation.” Police report 1 dead and 12 injured. Taresha Mcgavinsworth, a 67 year old survivor, claimed the gunman calmly invoked the second amendment before opening fire. The killer is in critical condition after he suffered 29 bullet wounds from the large group of police already on the scene. The police stated that the suspect was wearing full body armor and appeared to have military training.

Violent signs from Occupy DC

Critics of the 99% have complained that the Occupy Wall Street protests are becoming too violent. According to some, the 99% are all a part of Obama’s plan to institute Marxism. Anti-job groups, known as unions, joined forces with Occupy Wall Street last week, driving the numbers into the tens of thousands.

Daryn Moran, a disgruntled Air Force Staff sergeant, left the military so he could stand up against Barack Obama’s illegal presidency. He was “in the army before the gays were”, and has threatened to “arrest the president for his crime of a forgery, which is proven fact…What we need is a confrontation.”

Finally, Daryn Moran’s confrontation has arrived. Tea Party members have found a reason for all the guns. The ‘99%’ traitors are fair game for true patriots who know the dangers of the unchristian, anti-American, unconstitutional, and suicidal policy of Communism. The illegal president is leading the people into a violent Bolshevik revolution! His anti-Israel stance is solid proof that he is the Anti-Christ, arisen to destroy the world.

May God have mercy on our souls.

Categories
Religion Status Quo

Jesus was a Capitalist

Have you accepted the IMF as your personal lord and savior? When will you make the personal choice to accept the World Bank into your heart?

It is a little known fact that the Bible is an anti-socialist document. In fact, Jesus hated socialism!

Let’s say a prayer:

I, Joe Six Pack, pledge allegiance to the United States of America. In doing so, I equate the value of the dollar with my own salvation. Until the dollar is as strong – or weak – as my corporate masters deem suitable, I will not rest. O International Monetary Fund! Hath we never done no ill will toward you, yea, we seek austerity measures in your honor. We hath sacrificed health care in your honor. We hath compromised human rights, dignity and overall health in your name. Lo, how better can we serve you than to carpet your fine mahogany offices with the very skin of your most devout followers, so that each day you may trample upon our faces and we may taste with our own tongues your unending contempt for the consumers that built you. In Strauss-Kahn’s name, amen.

Amen.

Leave comments below confessing your own Christlike love for Capitalism.

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