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Entertainment

The Jester infected the Predator Drones

Everyone knows the easiest way to win an online argument is to link to an article on Wikipedia. Someone upset you? Just link to a general topic that is vaguely related to the topic being debated! No one needs context because a link stands on its own.

Also standing on its own is the pretentious cunt who just hyperlinked you to some fucking cryptanalysis article. He is the pinnacle of insight, as proven by this.

Corporate Raiders – big business capitalists who target pensions. What differentiates that with criminal behavior? just because it’s done through legal avenues?

I found this little grove in the middle of town. Danzig was playing and the men were being shot down. Yeah, I found this flower bed in the middle of town. This good hiding spot. It was incredible.

I could hear the drum pounding, reverberating off of the thin cardboard walls in the cinderblock garage. The Chase candle unleashed a stringent, poisonous fume that filled the garage with intoxicating fumes. Smiling faces promoted communism, stolen with permission from Kroger.

How horrible would it be to fight in a place where you’d need a gas mask? Chemicals and nuclear fallout, sure to infect you with traces of death. Fighting at Kroger.

That’s why th3j35t3r has infected Predator drones. He has been using them to DDoS the Chronicle. He’s a hell of a patriot. He has nothing to hide.

Wall Street Protester Raped by Domino's

That’s why th3j35t3r day by day creates fake Jihad websites just to pretend like he attacked them. He is the best thing An Army of One could insert into a civilian hot zone. His Twitter feed is like a staged episode of Cops – airing every moment, at some time, just to prove a cop can fuck with you any time they want.

There is no hope in tomorrow. No hope in the next day. Pray for nuclear war. According to a polled majority at OKCupid, “it would at least be interesting.”

At least it would be interesting, unlike any article we’ve run in the past five weeks.

The Chronicle.SU sucks and is completely irrelevant. Who writes this shit? It is fucking pointless. Are you guys Communists? Do you even know what that hammer and sickle means?

Instead of attacking you guys, the Jester could be attacking terrorist with predator drones but you fucks [emphasis added] are destroying our vision.

Reading the Chronicle.SU is like taking a shit and then finding blood in your poop and wiping a hemorrhoid encrusted asshole, and just as rewarding. Seriously, this is the worst site in the history of the Internet. Kill yourselves now. Just, go to hell and die, because you’re the last thing left in this world preventing Heaven on Earth. That’s right, Chronicle.ESS YEW is the Red Communist Devil in the asshole of the Internet.

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Local News

Investigative Analysis: The Presstorm Debacle

Drag racing is dangerous. Running from the cops is even more dangerous.

In 2003, Jamie Jo Lambertz-Brinkman wrecked her white Honda into a police cruiser in a drag race gone wrong [1]. She served time for check fraud and hit-and-run before escaping from prison in August of 2004 [2]. One month later, Brinkman and her butch partner were caught in Illinois. This offense carried a mandatory sentence of seven years [3].

Ever the freedom fighter, Ms. Brinkman later sued the South Dakota Department of Corrections for denying her Haldol, a prescription she had taken for “bipolar disorder, mood disorder, anti-social disorder and personality disorder” [4].

Ms. Brinkman explained on Red List Radio, “When I was 13, I was being abused and I started running away from home.” At the age of 14, she was sent to a boot camp where she claims she was also abused. She claims to have purposefully stayed at the boot camp for nearly five years in order to avoid abuse at home [5].

At the age of 30, Ms. Brinkman has spent over one third of her life institutionalized in correctional facilities. She has committed fraud, escaped prison and recklessly endangered the lives of innocent people who just wanted to go for a drive.

The cat that caught the canary?

In 2011, Ms. Brinkman founded Presstorm.com, a blog devoted to what she called “investigative journalism.” She became a fixture within Anonymous, associating with hackers and attempting to influence their behavior through opinion pieces disguised as journalism. Inevitably, her schemes were laid bare by her own mistakes.

Presstorm came under repeated DDoS attacks after Ms. Brinkman posted a story which was critical of Occupy Wall Street. Former Presstorm supporters and writers did not offer her any support, instead laughing at her folly[6].

Ms. Brinkman has responded to the attacks by threatening to reveal the identities of those who donated to Presstorm and other contacts she made within Anonymous. She has also stated that the intentions of Presstorm were disingenuous and part of a psychological experiment which went exactly as she expected. Perhaps she has not been taking her Haldol.

Despite her illustrious past, Ms. Brinkman has attempted to chastise Anonymous for breaking the law. ” It wasn’t hard to know that what these children (or so it seemed were children!) were doing more harm to society than they were good. Like any juvenile delinquent, we felt that a little exposure would certainly shut them down.” She adds, taking the moral high ground, “We sincerely hope that we accomplished multiple levels of soul seeking, critical thought, and moral objection to one’s own behavior in the process” [7].

The Presstorm Debacle has served as an important lesson for Anonymous. Intentionally manipulative criminals are drawn to power and influence. Jamie Jo Lambertz-Brinkman created a cult of influence by playing on the high emotions in the wake of the WikiLeaks scandal and pathologically exercised what little power she gained. Like her Honda, Ms. Brinkman took Presstorm for a joyride that could only end in one way.

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News

Vote Namefag Party in 2012

Hello, I’m Kilgoar, founding member of the Namefag Party. I want you to vote for me in the upcoming presidential election because I’m the greatest namefag Anonymous has ever seen. A namefag is generally a pejorative term describing someone who uses a name in an attempt to gain recognition from the Anonymous collective. Famous namefags include Barrett Brown, Jamie Jo Corne and th3j35t3r. I have spent the last year griefing namefags in an attempt to spread the gospel of the true Anonymous Legion.

Fighting namefags has ironically required my further descent into namefaggotry. The Namefag Party is at the same time vehemently opposed to namefaggotry and willing to engage in limited namefagging. Of course, it would be impossible to run for president without namefaggotry, so I have titled the Namefag Party to reflect my own disdain for what I am doing.

A vote for me is a vote proudly wasted. I’m not even old enough to be president. However – and I cannot stress this enough – a vote for anyone else is a vote for the bad kind of namefag. Use your vote to send a message to all the evil namefags in government. The Namefag Party is coming for them in 2012.