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Miley Cyrus enjoys groping of fans in latest performance

Miley Cyrus let fans grope her vaginal and anal areas, Thursday night in a performance in Atlanta.

ATLANTA—On stage Thursday night in Atlanta, Miley Cyrus let fans stroke gently at her vagina with only a thin layer of tight, sequinned cloth between their grasping fingers and her smooth labia. Authorities fined her tour company for this obscene display, but concerned mothers’ groups are outraged as the fine only amounted to $1,200.

Jenny Ronaldo, spokesperson for Concerned Christian Mothers, a sexual prudence organization, told reporters, “Maybe that’s an acceptable fine for strip clubs, as it keeps their shows from degrading into outright public whoring, but it does nothing to stop someone like Miley. $1200 is just not enough to keep her from doing this disgusting and obscene type of exhibition again and again.”

Earlier this year, Miley’s performance at the MTV Video Music Awards was met with controversy as she introduced suburbia to the urban dance known as twerking. Twerking is a dance where women present their anus and vagina, as if for penetration, while the fleshy parts of the legs are made to jiggle enticingly.

Millions of teenage girls brought twerking to their school dances, causing thousands of complaints and triggering concerns among parents all over the nation. Already, at least three school districts have issued warnings to students who, on Friday morning, emulated Miley’s on stage vaginal petting, causing massive disruptions in learning and at least one release of dangerous bodily fluids.

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Politics Uncontrollable Patriotism

Scotland’s failed bid for independence defrauded by Illuminati

INTERNET—Friday, Scotland lost its bid for independence as a majority of the country allegedly voted ‘No’ to independence. Analysts were astounded as social media clearly showed a strong preference for ‘Yes’ votes. In addition, photographs clearly displaying rampant voting fraud were circulated widely across the globe. Some reported that police stormed into a polling station and seized many handfuls of ballots.

The evidence of the fraud was not even hidden but rubbed in our faces, and this fits the exact behavior profile of the global elites. No matter if you call them the Illuminati, the Bilderbergers, Bohemian Grove, or the UN, the last thing they want happening is smaller empires.

They want everything bigger, and in Scotland people tried to resist. As always, the elites are laughing in our faces. Their global empire won’t be stopped by something as easily corrupted as democracy.

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Technology

World’s first fully 3d printed solar powered drones fill the skies

INTERNET—

Taylor Fenderson’s drones filled the skies Thursday, terrifying many pitiable souls.
Taylor Fenderson’s drones filled the skies Thursday, terrifying many pitiable souls.

Taylor Fenderson of Roanoke County, Virginia announced the invention of solar powered 3d printed drones.

Mr. Fenderson winked and told reporters at an impromptu press conference, “Watch this.” Hundreds of drones formed a swirling mass, not unlike a cyclonic school of fish in the ocean, and suddenly the infernal buzzing machines hovered, clearly forming a wall that was shaped like Fenderson’s face. Fenderson snapped his finger and the drones dissipated into Southwest Roanoke County, which is now firmly under his control.

“Dear friends,” he said before using the most cryptic terms, “There is no reason to be alarmed. I believe the singularity has arrived, and be glad.”

At this moment what must have been in some estimations as many as ten thousand drones blotted out the clear evening skies above, and the gathered crowd shouted in terror, one declaring “He is the Devil!” and another, “God save us, the gates of hell have been thrown open!”

Fenderson’s eyes grew cold as he looked directly into WDBJ7’s cameras, demanding residents bring him all the graphics processing chips in the valley for a municipal bitcoin mining operation. Fenderson wants to fund the world’s fastest fiber optic network for residents of the valley only, using a newly discovered photonic switching process discovered by MIT. Taylor said, “Roanoke is situated in a uniquely defensible position, and as I speak drones are covering the highways with pebbles, shoring up the armor-proof chain of mountains that surround us on all sides. No aircraft is permitted to enter Roanoke’s air space. Attempt no landings in Roanoke.” At that, Fenderson retreated into his Bunker and those who attempted to follow him and ask questions found themselves surrounded and their senses assaulted by the klaxons of hundreds of drones.

Some citizens took to the streets with shotguns, attempting to shoot down drones but finding themselves surrounded and disabled by the drones’ horrendous sonic weaponry. Such a day of woe and terror was never seen in Roanoke since the troubles in 1893.