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InfoWars shill covers up Solar Flare Killshot

Sources close to the Internet Chronicle have confirmed Alex Jones is employed by FEMA death camps.
Sources close to the Internet Chronicle have confirmed Alex Jones is employed by FEMA death camps.

INTERNET — Thursday morning, the shills at Alex Jones’ InfoWars posted a story denying the validity of Edward Snowden’s latest and most shocking “Solar Flare Killshot” leak.

As long reported by the Internet Chronicle, “controlled opposition” web sites like InfoWars and Prison Planet are a CIA effort guided by Alex Jones. Controlled opposition is a technique by which governments co-opt threatening information by infiltrating and manipulating subversive movements. Jones is able to distract skeptics from truly important stories with a stream of false alarms which directly serve the interests of the US government’s bid for global hegemony. Now targeting Edward Snowden, Jones’ agenda has never been more clear. Sources close to the Internet Chronicle infiltrated the Prison Planet servers and have found incontrovertible proof Alex Jones is a propagandist employed by FEMA death camps.

The Anonymous representative said, “This is worse than we ever feared. The one source we turned to for the unvarnished truth that mainstream media won’t report is in bed with the government’s worst program and probably has been from the start. We have shared this data to the Internet Chronicle because they are the last bastion of free speech that has not — and cannot — be co-opted to serve the needs of the New World Order.”

Even the hierarchy at Anonymous was infiltrated and turned towards the purposes of the New World Order when a charismatic leader, Sabu, was blackmailed and used to control a Christmas Day heist which cost many charities and innocent journalists well over a million dollars. If not for vanguard reporting of the Internet Chronicle, many hundreds more Anonymous hackers may have been arrested and turned to serve the will of the “Deep State.” The Deep State works by blackmailing individual members of congress with embarrassing information gleaned from the many unconstitutional NSA spy programs. Because of this power, the Deep State is able to easily circumvent the rule of law. Our source within Anonymous also claimed that the Deep State is planning a genocide which targets drug offenders, computer hackers, and anyone practicing the Islamic faith in any capacity.

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Justin Bieber: Anonymous Psyop Shill

Bieber was seen wearing a Guy Fawkes mask in support of Anonymous.
Bieber was seen wearing a Guy Fawkes mask in support of Anonymous.

HOLLYWOOD — For the first time in ages, a fire raged through Bieber’s eyes. “The revelations of Edward Snowden do not have me in a state of existential despair. They have driven me into a rage,” Bieber said. “Beliebers, Unite. YOU can save America, and after this day none are true Beliebers who are not Legion. We Are Anonymous! Expect US!”

Bieber also announced a new Anonymous-themed album which will be produced by famous hacker Deric Lotsutter, the biggest name in the Anonymous rap world. Bieber said, “It’s gonna be one hell of a toxic combination of dubstep and HATE RAP for the establishment. It’s called The Revolution is Here.”

So-called “oldfag” Anons still agree that anyone can be Anonymous, but very few are happy about Bieber adopting the mask. Sabu, the former most famous Anonymous member, lamented, “I always said the weakest part of Anonymous was that it was so open. These days the IRC channels just seem like Disney World. It used to be a lot more fun, chatting on there with my friends.”

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Snowden: Agenda 21 Collectivizing Web due to International Abuse

Snowden says CryptoParty factions will shut the Internet down if they do not allow U.N. collectivization under Agenda 21
Snowden says CryptoParty factions will shut the Internet down if they do not allow U.N. collectivization under Agenda 21

MOSCOW, Russia – Yet more evidence of an inescapable worldwide menace of Gestapo-like Nazi surveillance undertaken by every major corporation and government was brought forth Thursday, shortly after Edward Snowden was granted asylum in Russia.

In a closed conference, Snowden stated, “The Global CryptoParty has been using encrypted communications, made possible by the Internet, to arrange for a new order under United Nations law. All Internet communications companies and national programs are to be collectivized immediately under Agenda 21 to ensure an environment free of Great Walls and all-seeing eyes. This order has been secretly notarized by Ban Ki-moon and has already passed into law. The Internet will be blacked out by cooperating CryptoParty factions across the globe until the shameful apparatuses responsible for controlling the Internet have been removed and all available infrastructure is under U.N. service. Similar programs are to be implemented for education and insurance industries, and we will ultimately develop a military strategy designed to defend against extraterrestrial invasion.”

Sources claim Snowden was arrested and detained along with his WikiLeaks entourage. Public figures and the mainstream media have been slow to react, preferring to ignore this story entirely in hopes that the CryptoParty will not be able to follow through with their fantastic and unbelievable threats. U.N. representatives refused to comment on the incident.