Village drunk enters wrong apartment

Richmond, Va. — Local dumbass Darby Sutton walked through the wrong apartment door as he tried to get home to his third floor apartment Saturday night, after an evening spent drinking heavily with strange friends his girlfriend does not approve of. Upon entering his apartment building’s main front door, Mr. Sutton proceeded to ascend just […]

Congratulations on a bright future at Lebal Drocer, Inc!

Who’s a good little baby? That’s right, consumer: You are. Because you chose Lebal Drocer products to complete your material and immaterial selves, you have earned praise and reward. And gosh darn it, aren’t you pretty! Yes, you are. Hi, I’m hatesec. You might know me from the popular hatecast, Hate Radio, a slammin’ old […]

Cave Spring High School adds “maternity ward” to encourage teen moms

Roanoke, Va. — The county school district has installed a controversial new wing of the Cave Spring High School medical facility to include a “maternity ward” outfitted with beds, nurses, and counseling services to accommodate Virginia’s awesome teen pregnancy rates. A bunch of forward-thinking, rational people questioned whether a maternity ward in a high school […]