Immediately following the government reopening, the FDA reportedly gave “emergency approval” to a powerful new opioid for jazz musicians whose deep souls are in deeper pain.
The profound words on this page will have you crumbin’ for Dr. Troubadour’s new medicine for the soul, Miles fuckin Gravis, a totally bomb-ass way for you and your boys to
Forever 27
Miles Gravis will send you to an early grave!
Offering instant, long-lasting relief from bullshit like misery, grief, heartache, and sorrow, Dr. T’s Proprietary Opioid makes Gray Death look like sunshine.
Take the 27 Challenge!
FREE SWEEPSTAKES – ENTER TO WIN
An opiate-wary audience is considered out of reach to marketing pedagogues, so Purdue has teamed up with Lebal Drocer Inc to run a cheap little sweepstakes, called the 27 Challenge.
The first 10,000 musicians to die with Miles Gravis still in their systems will be entered into a contest to be immortalized in the 27 Club as the posterchild and lead tragedy for Lebal Drocer Pharmaceuticals (runner-ups play sideman!)
”I’m Phil Buckman, and opioids have ravaged the town I grew up in, killed my friends and family, and robbed a generation of stability. It will work for YOU, too!”
The Internet Chronicle is wholly, totally complicit in their scheme and shamelessly promoting it here. And what are you gonna do about it?
I’m Raleigh T. Sakers, and I triple-dog dare you to ask me to stop — Hate Radio, 2019
We’re all getting older, and we’re gonna damn die someday.
Pour a little Miles Gravis on that misery and watch in painless amazement as the newest drug from Lebal Drocer creates the smoothest, trippiest, psychedelic jazz you NEVER heard.
Them ol pain pills’ll gitcha, boy!
It resembles his previous works in every way, except this one is called Advancement Opportunities and You: Christopher Nemelka’s guide to enlightenment through entheogens, having sex with Chris, and doing heroin, probably also with Chris.