Author: Hatesec

I am the hatest

Sports

You may have already won!

"just a good old boy"

Dear winners,

If you are reading this, then CONGRATULATIONS on your big win. You did it. You finally won.

Life as a winner is going to feel quite a bit different. First of all, winners don’t quit. In that way life will always be the same, but because that’s your new point of reference, life for you as a winner is going to gradually become an unforgettable nightmare. Success is everything. You can do it!

Now, I get it. You’re probably thinking, ‘but hatesec, isn’t life just a miserable joke anyway?’

You’re not wrong, populus! Not by a long shot. But just because reality and everything we know is a facade doesn’t mean you can’t still get out there and vote for a democrat! By gum, the Republicans might be the Devil, but the Democrats are His golden-winged demons. A beast of many mouths, the three-headed hydra of hate beckons you to the television screen. You’re a winner, now! This is how you win! Come on and press the Win Button! Let’s finish what we started.

It was a quiet and hateful summer, as no politician seemed very prepared to lead a nation of broken workhorses into the hydra maws. They will persevere. They’re winners.

This message is brought to you amazingly by Lebal Drocer, Inc. We won everything that matters.

"Now them's good old boys."

Tags winning

Science Special Interest

Lebal Drocer will face ‘serious PR consequences’ for human rights abuses, continuous poisoning of rivers

Post author By Hatesec
Post date September 3, 2015
6 Comments on Lebal Drocer will face ‘serious PR consequences’ for human rights abuses, continuous poisoning of rivers

Scientists at Lebal Drocer Laboratories declined giving a fuck during an official press conference. — Scientists at Lebal Drocer Laboratories declined to give a fuck during an official press conference.

The American magazine Foreign Policy disclosed shortly ago that a Lebal Drocer soldier who mercilessly killed 16 innocent civilians in Roanoke, Virginia – including women and children – was prone to abusing the reality-altering designer drug TerrorBloc. TerrorBloc, or ‘TB’, is a cheap TerrorMax alternative synthesized by a dangerous offshoot of Lebal Drocer Pharmaceuticals, whose labs operate deep beneath the earth.

For some time, friends and family said, the Lebal Drocer Agent was addicted to alcohol and marijuana before graduating to TerrorBloc, a drug so maddening reports estimate it has caused some 45,000 deaths this year alone, not counting those deaths attributed to dumping Schedule III TerrorMax byproducts into major US waterways.

The new report, put out by the rebel group People’s Army of Lebal Drocer, sheds light on nefarious activities by the Real Lebal Drocer, a subsidiary of Lebal Drocer, Inc. The report shows Lebal Drocer “deliberately” hurled drugs and alcohol into the population without regard for human life or happiness, killing people just for profit.

i hope lebal drocer doesn’t have to face all those consequences

— hate sec (@hatesec) September 6, 2015

A United Nations Human Rights spokesperson said 31 nations around the world are organized to take action against the multinational conglomerate and author of the Trans-Pacific Partnership, promising to “push Lebal Drocer out of this century.”

Lebal Drocer’s atrocities have created seven new entries in the Guinness Book of World Records, including setting new records for Most Number of Lives Lost During Single Construction Accident and Highest Stillborn Rate Along a Single River.

Needless to say, residents of Canada and Mexico are not happy with the current state of natural decline at the hands of Lebal Drocer, Inc.

The company is sending an assigned diplomat who will personally take punishment at the international human rights tribunal in Pyongyang, satisfying the bloodlust of his fellow man.