Category: Editorial

It means ‘opinion,’ dumbass.

axisflip cryptofinancial

Categories
Hate

Yo man, can you pass a hit of that Debt Ceiling?

Well ladies, we hit the debt ceiling, and we hit it hard. I think. I guess we’ll all find out later today. So what are we looking at? Recession? Inflation? Oh, I think I have an idea, it’s so simple. All we have to do is invade Iran, North Korea, and Pakistan, exploit their natural resources, and that should pay our electric bill for another month. I mean, it worked before, right? All the war-mongering paid off, RIGHT?! Apparently some assholes are profiting from all this war, but not the people fighting it. Game over man, game over.

Who else loves the Tea Party as much as i do?!?!

If the Tea Party doesn’t get a candidate in office in 2012 I’m shipping off to Canada. If anyone can save us from the cluthces of Frobama, it’s the Tea Party. Herman Cain and Michele “Gacy” Bachmann together, for the win. We’re in trouble of becoming TOO successful. America hasn’t peaked, and it’s up to us, the voters, to make it happen. Join me in my undying support for all Tea Party candidates! They’re our only chance.

Imagine my dear readers, a country ruled by Jesus himself through his earhtly embodiment, the Tea Party. Sheeps will lay with lions, and everyone will be celibate. No more STDs, no more crimes, and no more wars – oh wait – scratch that last one. We must prevail over the evil specter of Islam and take the oil G-d really meant for us to have in the first place. The US of A is G-D’S country, and G-d is tired of being in fucking debt! Donate all your money to Tea Party Nation.org.

I’m not sure this debt ceiling thing is even real at all. So you’re telling me, Washington, that we can be 14.5 trillion in debt, but not 14.6? G-d forbid! 

axisflip cryptofinancial

Categories
Editorial

What the fuck is the Plan?

If this makes sense to you, you're deeply delusional.

So what’s this big “plan” that some Anonfags keep talking about? There seems to be a load of extremely vague and terrible bullshit surrounding this whole phenomenon, so I thought I’d take a closer look. Turns out, it’s a pretty transparent attempt at piggybacking Anonymous to create a solid ideology that’s centered around a small cabal of leaders.

One of the goals of this “plan” is a new government. While it’s perfectly logical to want to scrap the government we currently have, joining in a web forum dedicated to this purpose is equivalent to putting yourself on the terror watch list. Anyway, I think there are many within Anonymous who feel like our government would work properly if more people actually became involved in it, rather than advocating a complete revolution. Trying to define Anonymous as dedicated to a new government is offensive to my understanding of the collective.

The principles of “the plan” are to promote personal growth, government transparency, and freedom of speech. However, I don’t see how what is the plan actually practices any of these principles. For one, there is no transparency in their forums, as they are not open to the public. Secondly, the phases of “the plan” are some kind of cloak-and-dagger secret. Thirdly, the participants don’t seem to speak freely about what “the plan” actually means. It appears they’re only allowed to say ridiculously vague and mysterious things devoid of any real meaning. Finally, we can assume that the discussion is tightly controlled and puts boundaries on individuality, discouraging personal growth. The only reason to keep a forum private is to hide this kind of behavior – behavior I’ve witnessed in the closed forums of the Tea Party. In every way, what is the plan mirrors the structure of Tea Party Nation, a closed forum centered around the personalities of a few leaders they call moderators.

“Each phase will explain the progress and current focus as they are initiated. Phase 1 will begin on approximately June 15th, 2011. Phase 2 will be an expansion and escalation of Phase 1 with a much more collective focus, while Phase 3 will bring the masses of The Plan to action across the globe. The people will be heard. “

The three phase one-year plan reeks of Stalin’s five year plans. The plan will be over, and another plan will just take its place. These plans will just feed on the idealism of young Anons and offer them a pretend reward when the plan is finalized, which will never even be delivered in an intangible form. Just like Stalin’s five year plans, this “plan” is just a propaganda tool to draw people into the forums at what is the plan. God only knows what their real plan is, but let’s hope its not to create a catalog of people who support the overthrow of the government. Because from this armchair activist’s point of view, that’s sure what it looks like.

axisflip cryptofinancial

Categories
Hate Uncontrollable Patriotism

White House Demands Assange Assassination

Hillary Clinton

Washington, D.C. — Calls ring out of the White House for Julian Assange’s assassination following leaked documents penned by Secretary of State Hillary Clinton calling for investigations by every government agency into the online activities of Sabu, LulzSec afficionado, who she suspects to be connected with Hamas, Iran and known terrorist organizations.

Clinton threatened Assange Monday during a White House press conference by calling for his genitals.

“I want his balls,” Clinton said. “I want his dick. On my desk, I mean I want it severed and put on ice so I can ride it – I mean throw it from the window of a moving limousine. Assange is a threat to our freedoms and a menace on society.”
Already bounties are springing up around the planet for the renegade journalist and publisher.

Human Rights Watch advocates say they are concerned calls for Julian Assange’s head is a threat to global free speech but Rupert Murdoch, prominent free speaker, says otherwise.

Rupert Murdoch
Rupert Murdoch is insulted by the question.

In a symposium on the principles of ethical reporting, Murdoch said, “If he doesn’t like republishing the status quo, maybe he should consider another profession.” Murdoch’s deprecatory comments toward free thinkers were met with resounding applause throughout the Puckataw, Kansas ∞ Freedom Hate Humphrey Auditorium.

Bored with factual news and raw information, the American public have largely shown preference to conjecture and overtly emotional performances of total bias as an indicator of truth. William O'BrimleyIt is by this mechanism calls to assassinate and putting .png targets over political opponents’ faces has become an acceptable practice. The American People love their violence. Thank sweet baby Jesus it’s being applied to the nightly newscast.

Right-wing writer and free speech advocate Andrew Breitbart said in addition to Julian Assange, Clinton, Palin and others are enjoying their freedoms of speech as well.

“A jovial call to homicide is alright every once in a while, so long as it’s all in good fun. Nobody really takes that stuff seriously. Right?”

Gabby Giffords - Shot in the head
Sure.

The Chronicle.SU is in full support of the bounty on Julian Assange’s head and we are working systematically to bring him to US authorities. Contributions and our bounty are accepted via bitcoin:
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