Category: Entertainment

You like what we tell you to like.

Andy Dick suffers #MeToo moment of his own after sexual assault from predator comic Doug Stanhope

Post author By Hatesec
Post date July 4, 2018
3 Comments on Andy Dick suffers #MeToo moment of his own after sexual assault from predator comic Doug Stanhope

MeToo meltdown of the decade? Andy Dick gets a “taste” of his own medicine

Nightclub comic Doug Stanhope was accused by colleagues Tuesday of sexually assaulting fellow comedian Andy Dick – a former contestant on Dancing With the Stars and host of I love the 80s – at a late night gala after Andy refused numerous sexual advances.

Whistleblower

Brett Erickson

Doug’s former friend and opening act Brett Erickson told his Twitter following that Doug – after reading salacious rumors of Andy’s exploitable drug habits, questionable morals, and sexual promiscuity – invited Andy to his hotel room around three am one morning in November. Andy declined. The following night, Stanhope was spotted assaulting Andy in front of friends and coworkers (pictured below).

Andy Dick's stiff right hand and unnatural pose express discomfort as Doug Stanhope forces himself on the comic. Comedian Anthony Jeselnik (right) looks on, doing nothing. (Photo credit: Brett Erickson) — Andy Dick’s stiff right hand and unnatural pose express discomfort as Doug Stanhope forces himself on the troubled comic. Comedian Anthony Jeselnik (right) looks on, doing nothing. (Photo credit: Brett Erickson)

City Attorney’s spokesman John Money says misdemeanor sexual battery and battery charges were filed Wednesday. Stanhope, 51, is scheduled to be arraigned on July 18.

Money said Stanhope groped Andy Dick sometime in November 2017, forcibly kissed him, and used Andy’s hand to manually stimulate himself.

Stanhope, who once had a bright, promising career in show business as co-host of the Man Show, has spent his 50s slogging about the world telling rape jokes to degenerates in dark comedy clubs. He was spotted last April at Ground Zero, for instance, in Spartanburg, South Carolina, sucking around with Brett Erickson and an accomplice they called “Chaley.”

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadauer, Professor Emeritus of Social Sciences at Lebal Drocer University in Southern California and former stagehand to Dick, said he’s seen performers “go for alpha” by upstaging, abusing, and ridiculing the bisexual comic before adoring audiences. He said some comics take this behavior too far, going so far as to try to outdo Andy in every way, even if that means engaging in a set of behaviors intended to topple Andy’s top-sex-predator-status and claim it as their own.

A case of upstaging gone too far

“No doubt Doug wanted to get his stinger wet,” Troubadour said. “And he wanted to win the approval of his peers at the World Famous Comedy Store in LA. Who doesn’t? But he took it too far, forcing himself on Andy. I mean my god, Andy was abused as a child, some 40 years ago. He’s already been through so much. That’s why he groped that girl in April.”

Stanhope’s representatives have not responded to calls for comment, and may not actually exist.

Tags metoo

Entertainment Obituaries

Rapper XXXTentacion found ALIVE after faking his own death to promote latest album ‘No Pulse’

Post author By Hatesec
Post date June 21, 2018
11 Comments on Rapper XXXTentacion found ALIVE after faking his own death to promote latest album ‘No Pulse’

Fans mourn the loss of XXXTentacion, who was believed to have been murdered outside a Florida vape shop. Leaked texts reveal “X” is “laying low” until court dates blow over.

MIAMI, Fla. — New documents suggest depression-rapper XXXTentacion is alive and well after a mass media freakout blew a promotional stunt out of proportion this week.

The 20-year-old raper, whose real name is Jahseh Onfroy, was thought to have been gunned down in a Florida robbery.

Authorities said Onfroy was leaving a vape shop shortly before 4 p.m. when two men in a dark SUV shot and killed him.

Although he has not been heard from since the incident, phone records from the victim in the car – apparently a die-hard fan – suggest the murder was set-up and agreed upon by all parties involved.

The coroner’s report uncovered a digital contract found on an iPhone X belonging to the deceased look-alike in Onfroy’s car. The contract, they said, promised to make the death look as much like a hit on Onfroy himself as possible, and records on the phone show a history of bitcoin payments to dark web contract killers hired to do the job. The suspects are still at large.

At the time of the faking of his death, XXXTentacion was awaiting trial for beating his pregnant girlfriend, another stunt his publicist hoped would bring even more attention to the lackluster album’s release.

“XXXTentacion knew beating his girlfriend would bum a lot of people out, like when they heard Kanye supported Trump,” Mike Rogers, Onfroy’s publicist said. “And just like with Kanye, many suspected X’s attempts to cause his girlfriend to miscarry were efforts to promote his upcoming album, ‘No Pulse.’ The media – who don’t understand X – also don’t understand just how far X is willing to go to please his adoring fans.” Rogers winked to an unseen camera.

Because beating pregnant women left a bad taste in even his most ardent fans’ mouths, before faking his death, Onfroy made sure to publish an Instagram Live video in which he talks about how he wants to be “remembered.”

If worse thing comes to worst, and I f—ing die or some s— and I’m not able to see out my dreams, I at least want to know that the kids perceived my message and were able to make something of themselves and able to take my message and use it and turn it into something positive and to at least have a good life.

Since only a handful of tracks from “No Pulse” have been released so far, X is laying low until his court dates are forgotten, or the public forgives him: whichever comes last.

“Dude beats pregnant chicks, but look how people love him!”

News Reviews

When did Julian Assange turn Wikileaks BAD?

Post author By Hatesec
Post date April 11, 2018
11 Comments on When did Julian Assange turn Wikileaks BAD?

Was Julian Assange protecting bastards while he was supposed to be crushing them? When it comes to “crushing bastards,” there are only certain bastards he’s willing to crush, according to internal sources.

The full discussion is here, in a brand new episode of Hate Radio, from chronicle.su, brought to you incredibly by Lebal Drocer Incorporated. In the episode, editors kilgoar and hatesec pinpoint the moment Assange took Wikileaks down its dark path.

“Basically it’s antijournalism, is what you could call it,” says kilgoar, a chronicle.su editor and leading Wikileaks expert.

KILGOAR, OF CHRONICLE.SU, EXPLAINS WIKILEAKS FROM HIS FORTIFIED COMPOUND DEEP BENEATH THE EARTH.

After the recording of the latest Internet Chronicle bombshell podcast, Rustle League successfully DoS attacked Julian’s personal Twitter account, disabling it permanently.

“Julian Assange can maintain this claim that he’s totally impartial and he’s just publishing whatever he gets his hands on – and, on the other hand – all the promotion of it is done to put the magnifying glass on, say, Hillary Clinton, for example, or various government figures that are representatives of the neoliberal world order that Julian Assange wants to destroy.”

— kilgoar, moments after reading a DM sent by carrier pigeon from Julian Assange himself, who sadly believed he was talking to Sean Hannity

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadour, from the Lebal Drocer University Department of Mass Communications, said he noticed Julian’s mission and worldview appeared cleverly opportunistic, which proved exploitable for the benefit of the college professor’s own ambition to someday go in on a chain of Chic-Fil-As in beautiful downtown Aleppo. That’s when he and his team began their research in 2011.

“He’s a chameleon,” said Dr. Troubadour. “He fits in and blends in with the moment, and will take whoever he wants on his side. Wikileaks is really compelling to a lot of people, and it seems to have this power of truth behind it, that ‘this is the real deal. this isn’t some expert sitting in between me and my investigation. I get to do it myself. This is like Wikipedia.”

kilgoar said Assange claims not to have any part in the editorial process, urging the public to go to the leaks, read them, and make up their minds.

“Basically it’s antijournalism, is what you could call it,” kilgoar said. “It’s the opposite of journalism. It’s saying, ‘Everybody is now the investigator, and that’s why you have stuff like PizzaGate.”

Armed with his real M-16, a North Carolina man self-investigated #PizzaGate after the Fake News Media failed to do so.

They burnt bridges with publications like the Guardian beacuse they didn’t like what came out of the investigations.

There was a time when Wikileaks was dedicated to working with journalists. That’s probably when it was good. That was when they didn’t do these massive treasure troves of crap.

— Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadour, Lebal Drocer University

Kilgoar says Wikileaks is now doing just that.

“It’s the lazy way out. That’s the change they’ve had,” kilgoar said. “If the investigations revealed their leaks to be not sensational, they didn’t agree with the results of Wikileaks’ internal analysis.”

J-Watch

Keep them “honest” by reading this month’s Internet Chronicle Journalism Watch

Barrett Brown’s Pursuance Project is similar antijournalism, according to Dr. Troubadour, making note of Brown’s future prospects as a carnival spectacle and potential host of his own miniseries on Viceland.

Brown, lead Pursuant at Project Pursuance, is categorized under the Troubadour Scale of Culpability as being at “High Risk” of editorializing too strongly to be allowed to continue his work representing uppercase Anonymous. But he’s hot money right now, and Jimmy Kramer says “buy, buy, buy.” The Pursuance Project is projected to carve a path of destruction through institutions like The Guardian, Wikipedia and Internet Chronicle, in its pursuit of something.