Category: News
Shit happens.
Today the Supreme court voted along party lines to destroy consumer rights. The majority-holding republicans voted down a case that would allow class action lawsuits against corporations. It upholds the legality of contracts which force consumers into arbitration. Arbitration is a process through which big businesses anally rape the general public. The class action suit against AT&T reached the supreme court over a $30 fee that is still unexplained. The message from the Supreme Court is clear. Corporations can force you into a contract, take away your right to sue, and charge you a fee for it. And then anal rape you, and charge you an anal rape fee.
As soon as their pawns in the Supreme Court upheld corporate hegemony, AT&T revised its terms of service to give themselves the power to anal rape more viciously.
Not all is lost. Sonygate has prompted a democratic uprising for corporate justice. A lawsuit has been filed against Sony, which also includes forced anal rape in its terms of service. The behavior of Sony and AT&T may shift public opinion against corporations in a profound way.
Senator Blumenthal and Representative Johnson have introduced legislation that will fix the rule of law to make anal rape illegal. The legislation will disallow forced arbitration by terms of service, opening all corporations to class action lawsuits. Chronicle.SU opinion polls show that 99% of citizens believe that corporations should not be allowed the right to anal rape.
Meanwhile, Anonymous is organizing a DDoS that will disable AT&T’s call network to finally get revenge on smug iPhone users. In 1990, AT&T wrongly blamed a network outage on hackers, a move that led to the arrest of hundreds of hackers. Anonymous does not forget.
UPDATE: AT&T moves forward their plans on acquiring T-mobile to crush competition and consumers underneath their mighty feet.
All Casio watch-owners have been ordered by the United States Department of Defense to report directly to the Florida coast where boats are waiting to take them to the infamous Guantanamo Bay holding facility in Cuba.
There are two types of watch brands available to most Middle Easterners: Casio and Fossil. Terrorists use Casio watches in the arming of IEDs. Many of us had these throughout our childhoods and didn’t realize it. They’re small, cheap, tell the day of the week and the time just fine, and cost probably $5 or 10 at the market.
When asked what effect this would have, if any, on President Obama’s controversial promise to close the military holding facility, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney told Americans to “Never give up hope.”
The Casio watch with a compass pointing to Mecca – the one used by the Guantanamo Bay guards as an excuse to detain an innocent Muslim man indefinitely – actually costs between $80 and 200.
He was arrested and interrogated for simply wearing this Casio watch. Their mistake, right?
“Well, we saw that it was a Casio but didn’t realize at the time how nice it was.”
But he was detained for less, using their mistake as the impetus for his continued detention; based only on the invalid assumption that being a Muslim made him a terrorist, since his watch, regardless of the model, contained a compass pointing straight at Mecca.
But even if he was interested in making a bomb, there is no reason to use a watch that nice. Bomb watches are stuck into an IED. Anyway, wouldn’t it be counter-intuitive that a Muslim should blow up a watch with the unique capability of pointing to Mecca?
The specific model used by terrorists is the Casio F-91W model or its silver variant, the A-159W, costing around $8.
The only reason for his continued captivity seems to be contempt for him either as a person, a Muslim or a non-American – all of which are threats to national security.
Keep up the good work, storm-troopers.
Americans, get back in your cages. Shock treatment is to begin promptly at 4 a.m. and must be administered on an empty stomach [or you will be forcefully purged].