Category: News

INTERNET — A team of masked men stormed the Ecuadorean embassy, Monday, killing five guards and Wikileaks publisher Julian Assange. Sunday, Assange tweeted a password which will open the 700TB ‘Deep State Files’ torrent to the public. Already this treasure trove of the Deep State’s most hidden data has proven that the CIA assassinated president John F. Kennedy and installed Putin in Russia as an American puppet state after the fall of the Soviet Union.

Fans, friends, and supporters across the world mourn Assange’s death on the #DeepStateFiles hashtag as they circulate the evidence he’s brought to light against the Deep State, but they’re also expressing resolve and bracing for more violence.

Assange’s Girlfriend and assassination eyewitness Pamela Anderson said, “I heard gunfire and then they broke the door down with a battering ram and put a rag over his face. I thought it was only chloroform but when they left, he wouldn’t wake up.”

Anderson, in tears during her interview on Fox News, said “At the time I thought he was okay, and what was most horrible was how they took all the computers and went through all of his hiding spots in no time. In all my time in Hollywood I’ve never seen choreography that smooth.”

Cryptic messages from proven hacker and Trump-insider, QAnon, suggest that a string of assassinations of high profile Deep State targets are in the works.

bool highcastle = true; trump.shell(“golfsafe”). if putinist.iran == (feminism + assad){kimjongun.nuke(Guam)}

Analyst Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador interpreted QAnon’s message, saying “Obviously Trump says he’s going back to work, yet he spent a whole week on the golf links. QAnon is telling us that this is Trump’s only defense from the Deep State, who will have trouble assassinating him from the fortified golf club. Not only that, but Trump is plotting several major international incidents to distract the Deep State from focusing on him.

INTERNET — Obama-era plans to replace the image of Andrew Jackson with Harriet Tubman on the twenty dollar bill have been scuttled as Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin presented a new design which will place President Trump’s face on the currency starting next year.

Trump previously said that removing Jackson from the currency was “Pure political correctness.”

“Donald Trump is already the greatest president ever,” Mnuchin told reporters at a press release announcing the change, “The twenty dollar bill should reflect how Trump has changed the face of America forever.”

Rumors circulated on social media from alleged leaks within the White House, suggesting the back of the currency would also be overhauled to show Mar-A-Lago instead of the White House, and “Make America Great Again” rather than “In God We Trust.” Some speculated that Trump also plans to move the official residency of the nation’s chief executive to Mar-A-Lago on a permanent basis.

Dr. Vinay Jugurtha of the Institute for International Finance told reporters, “Trump’s just doing what he’s done before, and that’s branding. He’s sending the signal that the American Republic is for sale, and my opinion is it’s doomed as soon as someone makes a half decent offer.”

INTERNET– More startling revelations from Wikileak’s massive 700 Terabyte #DeepStateFiles have shocked the global balance of power, unraveling decades of covert Deep State actions and unleashing the truth behind the terrorist attacks on September 11th.

Lead Analyst and Investigator, Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, was granted first-access to the encrypted torrent of Deep State Files on Christmas Eve, and his team has sacrificed holiday time with their families to pore over the gargantuan treasure trove of top secret information.

More details about the alleged affair between Hillary Clinton and Osama Bin Laden were found in the Deep State Files, drawing a direct connection to 9/11. According to Dr. Troubador, “The idea of a false flag on the World Trade Center seems to have originated with Hillary Clinton, who told her hesitant ‘lover’ Bin Laden, ‘It’s time to demolish those hideous towers and all the deplorables who work there. It’s not like they vote for me anyway.’ According to the files, Bin Laden didn’t want to do it because he knew it was signing his own death warrant, but Hillary forced him into it. They filmed all the cave scenes that night in a CIA studio and then Hillary sent him back to Pakistan.”

Dr. Troubador told reporters, “We’ve also been going over a section on weaponry which is incredibly interesting. For instance, the super-fast SR-71 stealth spaceplane is still active and was originally intended to carry guided, miniaturized nuclear bombs. These modernized, untraceable low-fallout nukes have been deployed since Vietnam and continue to be used today in Ukraine. The SR-71 is sometimes used as a spy plane, but that’s mostly just a coverup. It’s the deep state’s best secret weapon hidden in plain sight, supposedly retired, but actually used more than ever. In fact, these documents suggest these stealthy mini-nukes were used to demolish the World Trade Center.”

Dr. Troubador also promised more information is forthcoming detailing an intimate relationship between President Barack Hussein Obama and his uncle Saddam Hussein, in which the Iraqi dictator groomed Obama for leadership of the United States at the behest of the CIA. In exchange for his service, Saddam was given a huge stockpile of Sarin gas which he immediately deployed on the Kurds.

“We’ve barely scratched the surface,” Troubador said. “Just keep refreshing the #DeepStateFiles hashtag on social media and you’ll find out the latest, up-to-the-minute details of our investigation.”