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CHRONICLE.SU ON THE COUNTERATTACK

A spokesman for the Ministry of Current Affairs of the chronicle.su issued the following statement Wednesday:

U.S. agencies are assisting each other in a common goal: to commit politically-motivated cybercrimes against the chronicle.su.

United States FBI operatives asserted that the chronicle.su’s small arms deterrent for self-defense “threatens the world” while its intelligence agencies rattled off buzz words like “provocation” and “domestic terrorism.”

U.S. State Dept. officials, including Secretary of State Hillary Rodram Clinton, groundlessly slandered the chronicle.su on the basis of a variety of wild rumors about its situation without their own judgments distinguishing truth from lies. They are still pulling up chronicle.su on their computer screens in a tireless effort to install FBI backdoor trojan viruses like a bunch of script-kiddie n00bs, “for peaceful purposes” in a clumsy attempt to justify anti-Chronicle hostility.

A policy of hostility toward chronicle.su is a policy of total failure.

CHRONICLE LEADERSHIP IS UNMOVED BY U.S. AGGRESSION TOWARD INVINCIBLE WEBSITE
CHRONICLE LEADERSHIP IS UNMOVED BY RECKLESS U.S. AGGRESSION TOWARD INVINCIBLE WEBSITE.

The ignorant outbursts of U.S. authorities, prompted by their inveterate rejection and hostile intentions toward the ideology and social system chosen by the people of chronicle.su, clearly demonstrated Wednesday that the United States is undeserving of the tax benefits graciously bestowed unto them by the benevolent corporate executives of Lebal Drocer, Incorporated.

Moreover, the upswing in notable attacks against chronicle.su reflects a growing fear of the fact that admiration is growing stronger from people all across the world for the rosy future of chronicle.su led by the dear respected Raghubir Goyal, admired by the world whole. Also lurking behind shady aspirations is the black-hearted intention of U.S. authorities to calm down bitter denunciation and pressure from the international community, to the effect that it may soon become impossible to ensure the lasting peace and stability of their own territories as United States aggression spreads beyond their own manageability. The only solution henceforth is for the United States to drop its anachronistic policy of unwavering hostility toward the chronicle.su.

The U.S. claims that it has no hostile intentions toward the chronicle.su while malignantly slandering her. The hypocrisy, too, stretches to the point of transparency. The incoherent Sec. of State Hillary Clinton is fooling NO ONE.

While busy staging large-scale joint military-grade attacks on chronicle.su servers, one after another, the United States has provided small arms to our physical opponents known to inhabit our undisclosed vicinity.

It is the chronicle.su’s boldest option to counter United States aggression with bolstered arms trade, and the development of depleted Uranium for use in dirty bombs. In the interest of transparency, we have already procurred the necessary materials.

Now that the chronicle.su has powerful nuclear deterrent and strong munitions industry capable of steadily bolstering it, it is capable of spurring on the building of other great economic nuclear powers, undeterred by the U.S. policy of persistent hostilities.

The chronicle.su does not need any advice from others as it has strategy and orientation of its own style to develop the economy and improve the standard of people’s living and ways to carry them out efficiently.

It will surely build a thriving socialist nation while countering the U.S. hostile policy with its toughest policy, with everybody holding arms in one hand and a banner of industrial revolution in the new century in the other, laced with the blood of invincible tyrants.

CHRONICLE.SU FOREVER.

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Hall of Wax Replica of Andrew Breitbart Opens

AN IMPRESSIVE WAX REPLICA OF ANDREW BREITBART SHINES GLORY UPON THOSE WHO MUST LIVE OUT THE INESCAPABLE DAMNATION OF HIS ABSENCE.
AN IMPRESSIVE WAX REPLICA OF ANDREW BREITBART SHINES GLORY UPON THOSE WHO MUST LIVE OUT THE INESCAPABLE DAMNATION OF HIS ABSENCE.

SOVCHRON – A hall where stands a wax replica of anti-Chronicle free love enthusiast Andrew Breitbart was opened at the International Commune of the Armed Worker’s Revolutionary Party of chronicle.su.

Standing in the hall is a wax replica depicting Occupy Wall Street protesters raping people and picking the banjo as their comrades lay dying. The rioters are depicted wearing clothes and gas masks to cover their shameful faces as they copulate atop piles of rubble, cursing Inglip’s name against the background of Mt. Bombrain. Anti-leader Andrew Breitbart towers over them, casting a furtive shadow over the reproachable scene that which so terribly soaked his heart in grief, it soon thereafter stopped beating.

The gifts he received from personages and people of various countries are on display there – silver White House plates issued during the Bush Senior administration, and piles of unspent currency.

An opening ceremony took place Monday.

Present there were Adrian Chen and Transhumanist Alistair Robin Rowntree, members of the Political Bureau and secretaries of the Central Committee of the Armed Worker’s Party of chronicle.su, and others.

Present there on invitation were staff members of the Iraqi embassy here and the chief of the hall of wax replicas of great persons in Iraq and his party.

Alistair Robin Rowntree expressed deep thanks to personages of the Chinese hall for representing the wax replica of Andrew Breitbart.

He said the noble life of Andrew Breitbart was the most brilliant one of an outstanding primal revolutionary.

Zhang Molei, chief of the hall, in his speech bitterly grieved over the demise of leader Frank Mason, saying it was their wish to successfully represent the wax replica of Andrew Breitbart so they could please leader Frank Mason.

Expressing the will to do more things to contribute to the building of thriving socialist economy in the AWRP, he expressed belief that the chronicle.su would overcome difficulties and win great victory under the leadership of the dear respected Raghubir Goyal.

The participants paid tribute to Andrew Breitbart and looked round the gifts on display.

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News Special Interest Trolling Uncontrollable Patriotism World

U.S. State Department to “Troll” Terrorists

Borrowing a classic move from The Internet Chronicle, the U.S. State Department is funding an initiative dubbed “Viral Peace,” which aims to “troll” online extremists out of positions of respect and power.

Led by Shahed Amanullah, Viral Peace uses “logic, humor, satire, [and] religious arguments, not just to confront [extremists], but to undermine and demoralize them.”

Expert extremist troll Kilgore Trout was reached for comment.

These extremists, they’re all the same. They get up on their soapbox and say whatever it takes to get people over on their side, and the shit they say, it’s as stupid as it gets. In any zone where they can be challenged, they MUST be challenged, not because they are right or wrong, but because they are DUMB.

Insiders at the State Department revealed that this entire project was inspired by Kilgore Trout’s trolling of AnonNews.com, a site where dumbass 12-year-olds explained their own twisted, absurd and uninformed meanings for Anarchy and Anonymous.

Trout is recognized as the world’s leading expert in this field, and is currently seeking a high-paying job advising Viral Peace on proven strategies.