Because they are used to living in lawless expanse, peasants in developing nations around the world appear to look down on America’s cop crisis with dimwitted superiority.

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— joma | جوما | #KaJomaLives .ᜃᜒ. (@comradejoma) April 22, 2021

[Editor’s Note: Sometimes people go online and make shit up]

In their own words, the peon masses submitted their remarks to the Internet Chronicle to pose a timely rhetorical question. We read them, and interpreted them for you here.

• a peasant in vietnam once asked me if we had a People’s army in the US, I said no, and she was like “what do you have” and I said “you would literally die if i told you”
• a peasant in newsbekiztan once asked if we had a People’s Army in the United States. I said no, and she was confused because she’s a fucking peasant and I answered her in English
• a peasant in Myanmar once asked me if we had military coups in the US. I said no, and she was confused because we facilitate coups around the world
• a piece of bark floating on the surface of an artificial lake asked if we had a People’s Army in the US. I said no, and it got confused and asked, “then who protects you from abusive cops?” bark has no concept of public policy
• a simple, pissant, subhuman peon asked if we had a People’s Army in the US. I said no, and she was confused because I projected nobility onto her blank, ignorant expression
• Little haji in the desert once asked if we have a People’s Army in the US. I said uhhh no? He looked confused as to why I would be so snide toward a starving child with a distended belly. He said “then who protects you from racist cops?”

Peasants might not be educated like us, but they’re so wise!