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Donald Trump and Melania vaccinated in January, but will remain socially distant

NEW YORK — Former President Donald Erdogan Trump and wifey Melania Trump both received coronavirus vaccines in January, White House advisers confirmed to the Chronicle on Monday. However, the former first lady is opting to remain socially distant, out of an abundance of caution, probably.

The two got their first dose while still in the White House, and have since received their second dose, according to someone wearing a suit and tie. It was not clear which vaccine they received, but Donald insisted on having it injected into the base of his tiny, worthless, child-molesting member.

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GFE: Former US President Trump paid extra for the “girlfriend experience.”

Citing the discomfort prostitutes feel towards kissing certain clients, Melania told her assistant she is going to “play it safe” and avoid Donald until this whole thing blows over.¹

To the amusement of literally the entire world, the Trumps both contracted the coronavirus in late September, with the former president spending a few days on a milking table due to being so weak to the fake virus made up just to hurt him.

Now that they are healthy again, Melania finds herself slowly backing out of the room.

During his presidency or whatever, Melania experimented with methods of greenscreening herself out of awkward situations.

“I am trying not to let on that I am actually leaving, but offering reassuring tones as I make for the exit,” Melania said, comparing her exit to when your ass makes a sound, but you know it’s not a fart. “I don’t want to send up any signals that might cause my loving, abusive husband to give chase.”

This story is brought to you proudly by Lebal Drocer, Inc.

¹their life together

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PRESIDENT TRUMP SUES GOVERNMENT FOR ‘PRESIDENTIAL HARASSMENT’

Cory Lewandowski Died after setting himself on fire, Tuesday

Three years of hate and hype boiled over on Capitol Hill Tuesday as impeachment proceedings against President Donald Trump were unveiled to a desensitized herd of faithless swine. Naruto-running creeps circled the Washington Monument, and Jamie Jo Corne, racist leader of the Anonymous hacker collective appeared many years late with three hundred head of cattle and Articles of Separation written out in shaky calligraphy on fine vellum. “We, The People of the Confederate States of America, Proudly Declare Donald Trump King of all White Patriots.”

Meanwhile, inside the miserable impeachment hearings the pitiful repetitive squeals of Republican Representatives inspired no sympathy or rage. In an act of epic impotence Lobbyist Scumsucker Cory Lewandowski died after setting himself on fire just outside the Capitol building, reportedly shouting at police and extending a stiff arm towards the White House, “Heil Trump! Heil Trump!” As his charred flesh peeled away, eyewitnesses claimed they saw a glistening metallic skeleton and heard his voice screech in a horrific inhuman pitch, degrading towards a single piercing tone, “like a dial-up internet gone wrong.”

Left behind for once in the all-out publicity orgy, President Trump filed a civil suit against the United States Federal Government, seeking ten trillion dollars in damages for so-called Presidential Harassment. The President also messaged all his fans, asking them to consider 36 holes or a vacation at one of his many golf resorts to help offset the costs of being impeached, even floating the idea of converting many of his hotel units into ripoff timeshares. Many President fans emptied their bank accounts and are now hunkered down in an encampment outside Mar-A-Lago. An eyewitness claimed the scene there is “Some mixture of Jonestown and Joe Arpaio’s open-air prison, and nothing to eat but daily shipments of fast food meals. They nearly lynched a man for hate-watching CNN.”

Joe Biden was seen sweating and skulking in the DC Metro, waiting around for a train among the swine, trying to blend in with a trenchcoat and Ray Bans. “The Ukrainians are following me,” he whispered. “They’ve got little pellets with poisons, electrical shock heart attack tasers, God knows what else. If they don’t pull off this hit the Eastern front will fall to Putin. It’s the end of the line for Old Uncle Joe, and I’m just taking my final ride. They’ll scramble my brain with a sonic pulse if I try to hide, and there’s no way out now. The Swine have it.”

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QAnon announces #GESARA #NESARA, FISA courts approve secret law enabling Global Financial Reset

INTERNET — In a startling turnaround, QAnon announced in a ‘breadcrumb’ that the liberty agenda of GESARA NESARA will soon come to replace the corrupt zionist financial cabal and destroy the Deep State in climactic and total “reset” of the economy, providing each and every citizen with monthly $5,000 payments and massive expansions of Social Security payments to the elderly.

For decades, the Deep State has SUPPRESSED the NESARA GESARA foundations by PERSECUTING their adherents as scammers and fraudsters.

In 1994, Patriot Clyde Hood formed the Omega Fund, which would help underwrite a TOTAL ECONOMIC RESET as outlined in the NESARA bill written by Professor Harvey Barnard. However, the Deep State soon SUPPRESSED this investment fund, and were later unmasked by the Dove of Oneness, Shaini Goodwin. Hood served 12 years in prison after admitting to the scam, to avoid exposure much like Michael Cohen, Paul Manafort, and George Papadopolous.

Hood has since rebuilt the Omega Trust and one day plans to repay all investors triple their promised returns and take down George Soros and the IRS forever.

“Pull the tower”

QArmy White Knight insiders say the Rothschilds will be forced to pay back what they’ve stolen from the Omega Trust, allowing American citizens who also bought into the Trust to receive back Prime Bank Notes in the amount of their deposit, taking back not only the power to the people, but the money used to restore that power.

The NESARA and GESARA legislation, which was secretly passed on September 11, 2001 at the moment of the collapse of the South Tower, will only go into effect once it is announced. The Deep State has so far been successful in suppressing the secret law, but with the help of Q Anonymous, Donald Trump plans to Announce NESARA GESARA before Valentine’s Day, putting a final end to the Criminal Deep State IRS. Until that time, QAnon suggests that QArmy should avoid asking too many questions, keep calm, and Trust The Plan as it unfolds. The Storm has already passed. Russia is Done. Collusion is over.

INVEST IN YOUR OWN ESCAPE

To ensure so-called “governments” can’t eavesdrop or track payments to the Omega Trust, a person once needed to wrap their money in tinfoil before sending it through the Deep State mail system. Now, Cryptocurrencies have solved that problem, and you can invest bitcoins directly into the Omega Trust, courtesy of Lebal Drocer, Inc. here:

1EELAi2iWeRzQTcbgLLZPfVHiSQ9VhgurD

All proceeds will be directly invested in Gold and Silver immediately upon receipt, ensuring an end to inflation and a 1,000x return as your investment is redistributed.

5-D Chess: The future of economic freedom

Dr. Celeste Troubadour brings hope to millions, and is even rumored to embody President Trump himself, who draws ever closer to resetting the global economy.
Dr. Celeste Troubadour brings hope to millions, and is even rumored to embody President Trump himself, who draws ever closer to resetting the global economy.

Your bitcoin contributions, besides being used to buy up global corporations who lord debts over you to control your thoughts, are spent fighting for the freedom of truth activists such as Julian Assange. For example, funds donated to the above address are being used to provide legal representation in the case against Dr. Celeste “The Dove of Singularity” Troubadour, who was jailed after 9/11 for trafficking cancer curing medicinal marijuana.

His case, as it plays out in secret FISA courts, is one example of many how the Trust is being used to fight for you, to reset the financial system, free every last American from debt, and build the Wall. When NESARA GESARA resets the global economy and all debts are forgiven, the Trust’s vast Gold and Silver assets will mean prosperity for everyone, especially you. The Swamp is already Drained and your bitcoins are turned to Gold, just as ancient Alcehmists always Dreamed.