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‘Duncan Hunter Law’ will secure prostitutes for Wounded Warriors

SAN DIEGO — They’re not prostitutes. They’re comfort girls for veterans, according to emergency legislation protecting lawmakers from legal action when charging personal expenses without consent to political campaigns or charities.

His wife was like “Really? You can just do that?” You can NOW, sweet tits!

“We want to protect people like Duncan, who are not afraid to pretend to care about things in order to get shit done.” –Virginia delegate Bob Marshall

Therapy Holes

“They remember them as comfort girls,” according to Raleigh Sakers, a whoremonger in the East Village, and eccentric CEO of a Silicon Valley start-up called Lebal Drocer, Inc.

“What’s the matter, you think just because a man goes to war and fights for his god damn country, he should come home and face punishment and restrictions on what he’s allowed to do with his own fuckin’ body?” Sakers shouted. “For cryin’ out loud! Let the boy get his stinger wet. I bought him a comfort girl–well, I didn’t–the Wounded Warriors paid for it. Been that way ever since Hunter got caught Duncan the honey jar.”

The Miami-based brothel Lebal Drocer Therapy Holes is coordinating efforts with the RT Sakers Association For Transcendental Men to bring therapy girls to disenfranchised veterans left behind by the system. They call it the Duncan Foundation, and they say the sex workers – of whom about 2% are going to veterans – are thrilled to bang out a good cause.

“We’re stealing from a charity that’s basically a theft ring in its own right,” explains Dr. Angstrom Troubadour, who chairs the Foundation. “Hell, even the people running Wounded Warriors steal from Wounded Warriors. Bogus charities are kind of a meme by now. It’s a very popular business model. Rather than fighting or punishing congressmen for bad behavior – which forces that activity underground – it’s better to go ahead and codify it now, so people don’t have to feel bad about stealing from those in need.”

While Wounded Warriors might still be a criminal enterprise embezzling most of their donations, that doesn’t have to mean important leaders like Duncan Hunter should face penalties.

[Editor’s note: A criminal stealing from criminals? Sounds like a vigilante! Hot damn, let’s finish this article already. All this talk about whores has got me ready for wet wet.]

The new law also pushes campaign finance directors to earmark hush money, so victims speaking out can not interfere with important political processes.

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QAnon Leaks: Trump leverages second report to pressure Attorney General Sessions to stop Mueller probe ‘right now’

Trump and Bobby Mueller colluding? It’s more likely than you think!

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A prescient Donald Trump scanned his audience at a rally in Tampa on Tuesday. He was greeted by his own underground army: QAnon. He beamed out into the crowd. They saw each other.

Even CNN admits the Russia investigation is a sham. It’s actually a cover story for special counsel Robert “Bobby” Mueller and Donald Trump working together to expose thousands of pedophiles hidden in plain sight. Hillary, Bill — even Barry Hussein — soon will ALL be under arrest!

Cryptic messages from proven hacker and Trump-insider QAnon suggest the reason Barack Obama is laying low since leaving office is out of fear for his reputation, as the QAnon leaks close in around him, strangling the extravagant lifestyle afforded to him by insurance companies, as repayment for that time he forced Americans to buy shitty insurance.

The GOP may have lost the Alabama special election for Jeff Sessions’ Senate seat on purpose: Where do you think President Trump picked up his flair for 4-D chess?

The plan was cooked up years ago out of Sessions’ desire to reveal the use of fraudulent voting machines, improving the integrity of future American elections. His plan expanded to include the removal of conspiracy power players such as George Soros, the Bilderberg Group, and the entire Illuminati.

Experts call the plan ambitious, but leaders in the field believe Sessions, together with the President, can pull it off (with a little help from a friend). Chief Political Strategist for the George McGovern campaign, Dr. Armstrong, F. Troubadaexeur, said the White House is calm and collected as they move their pieces into checkmate against enemies like Mexico, who would deflower, debase and subjugate our sweet land of liberty.

“I know the President said Jeff Sessions should stop Bob Mueller, and all that,” Troubadaexeur said. “I know he talks a lot about TV ratings. But probably what I know, more than all that, is everything – and I mean, everything – is going just as Father Trump intended it.”

QAnon

The Storm

QAnon is the force looking out for America. A cabal of global elites, including top figures in Hollywood and TV, the Democratic Party, and various intelligence agencies, are responsible for ALL the evil in the world. And now Trump is going to fix it all with thousands of sealed indictments. Hillary and Obama will WISH they closed Guantanamo Bay after the President is finished with them. And QAnon makes all this possible.

The QAnon report’s anticlimax did little to slow down QAnon Fever, which has gripped audiences and taken the nation by storm. That is why it’s called The Storm. That’s because Trump possesses another OIG report that would bring down his enemies (who are, by extension, our enemies) once and for all. The second report proves the FBI, Justice Department and top Democrats broke laws in a miserly effort to prevent Trump from taking power. Now, QAnon says, Trump need only release it.

Sweet Release

QAnon called on the President and Sessions to end the Witch Hunt, and dismantle Mueller’s apparatus of injustice.

“The president is not obstructing,” White House Press Secretary Sanders said. “He is fighting back.”

[EDITOR’S NOTE, chronicle.su: REPORTS INDICATE THE WHITE HOUSE FOUND A PRESS SECRETARY THEY CAN KEEP]

As conditions worsen, release of the second QAnon report becomes more imminent. Time is running out.

QAnon could soon set his sights on Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, who has defended Mueller against accusations in Congress.

QAnon did not respond to numerous, repeated attempts for comment. He is invited to call in live Wednesday, August 1, at 11:30 p.m. Hate Radio guest call-in line: (917) 675-4836

This message is brought to you proudly by Lebal Drocer, Inc.

What about Seth Rich though?

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Trump’s first visit to home town of New York City met with [glorious praise]

DADDY IS HOME

President Trump returned home Thursday, for the first time since becoming national daddy.

Thousands of demonstrators appeared at the Intrepid military museum, a decommissioned warship docked in lower Manhattan, where President Trump met right-wing Australian Prime Minister Malcolm “X” Turnbull.