The Royal Society of Chemistry unveiled a delicious new sandwich, rediscovered from the golden Victorian era. The toast sandwich, a piece of toast between two pieces of untoasted bread, is touted as the cheapest lunch possible. UK residents have celebrated this incredible discovery by throwing lavish toast sandwich parties, as they are finally able to afford to eat a healthy meal full of necessary vitamins and minerals.
Gerard Loffington-Starkley spoke high praise of his new favorite meal, “I fucking love toast sandwiches they taste so fucking good and saved me enough money to finally afford toothpaste. Hopefully in another week my gums will stop bleeding from all this fucking toast I eat at every single meal!”
The Royal Society of Chemistry has offered an extremely generous reward of £200 for anyone who can come up with a cheaper meal. Some have already suggested cutting the toast sandwich to only one piece of bread, but the Royal Society has denied such innovators any reward. Lord of Chemistry, Sir Mitchell Dunkworthington III, said “That doesn’t even count as a different type of sandwich, it’s just the same thing with less bread. No prize.”
Austerity is finally coming full circle for the people of Great Britain, and with ingenious ideas like the toast sandwich, the British empire may finally be seeing a glimmer of hope for the end of this terrible economic collapse.
Hey, what’s up fellow dudes! It’s been a while since we last spoke but I’m clean now, and all my tests have been coming back negative so they said I can do this again.