Category: Society

Aww, look! They think they’re people!

axisflip cryptofinancial

Categories
Fashion Society

Kilgore Trout Quits Both Anonymous and lowercase anonymous!!!!!!!!1

it’s been a long struggle to get to where i am today with lowercase anonymous, and as you can see, i’ve given up on uppercase letters altogether. people can play playstation again, and life is back to normal. i have chosen today to reveal the most shocking fact of all time. my very first trolling handle was in fact guy fawkes, and i have the long-form birth certificate to prove it:

read moar books nonimus? since none of u were able to read books, i disregard ur bawww literary criticism. remember forever that i quit anonymous because no one had read the epilogue to timequake by kurt vonnegut. it’s his last novel ever, his final words . it is a secret final admission to an accidental uber troll by kurt vonnegut himself, using teh alias guy fawkes.

i quit anonymous! i quit anonymous! i quit it SO HARD! I QUIT ANONYMOUS!!!! I SWEAR!!!!

btw, u just joined lowercase anonymous by becoming aware of it. the true definition of lowercase anonymous is the set that contains all sets. it can never contain itself so you are immediately and paradoxically a part of lowercase anonymous and not a part of it at the same time. rofl.

you know what? i think i’ll quit lowercase anonymous too. I QUIT LOWERCASE ANONYMOUS!!!!

axisflip cryptofinancial

Categories
Entertainment Fashion

EAT DDOS FAGGOT

YOU HAVE BEEN DDOS’D. CONSIDER THIS A WARNING.

Your Disinformation PSY OPS Campaign has gone too far.

We are Anonymous.

We do not forgive.

We do not forget.

Expect us.

axisflip cryptofinancial

Categories
Uncontrollable Patriotism World

Casio Watch Recall – All Owners Report DIRECTLY To Guantanamo Bay for Re-/Un-Americanization

GUANTANAMO CASIO CONNECTIONAll Casio watch-owners have been ordered by the United States Department of Defense to report directly to the Florida coast where boats are waiting to take them to the infamous Guantanamo Bay holding facility in Cuba.

There are two types of watch brands available to most Middle Easterners: Casio and Fossil. Terrorists use Casio watches in the arming of IEDs. Many of us had these throughout our childhoods and didn’t realize it. They’re small, cheap, tell the day of the week and the time just fine, and cost probably $5 or 10 at the market.

When asked what effect this would have, if any, on President Obama’s controversial promise to close the military holding facility, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney told Americans to “Never give up hope.”

The Casio watch with a compass pointing to Mecca – the one used by the Guantanamo Bay guards as an excuse to detain an innocent Muslim man indefinitely – actually costs between $80 and 200.

He was arrested and interrogated for simply wearing this Casio watch. Their mistake, right?

“Well, we saw that it was a Casio but didn’t realize at the time how nice it was.”

But he was detained for less, using their mistake as the impetus for his continued detention; based only on the invalid assumption that being a Muslim made him a terrorist, since his watch, regardless of the model, contained a compass pointing straight at Mecca.

But even if he was interested in making a bomb, there is no reason to use a watch that nice. Bomb watches are stuck into an IED. Anyway, wouldn’t it be counter-intuitive that a Muslim should blow up a watch with the unique capability of pointing to Mecca?

The specific model used by terrorists is the Casio F-91W model or its silver variant, the A-159W, costing around $8.

The only reason for his continued captivity seems to be contempt for him either as a person, a Muslim or a non-American – all of which are threats to national security.

Keep up the good work, storm-troopers.

Americans, get back in your cages. Shock treatment is to begin promptly at 4 a.m. and must be administered on an empty stomach [or you will be forcefully purged].