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Uncontrollable Patriotism

After brief reemergence, JFK Jr. shot dead in Dallas motorcade

This screenshot was taken moments before JFK Jr. was assassinated on his motorcade in Dallas. The video has been scrubbed from every platform, and is no longer available.
This screenshot was taken moments before JFK Jr. was assassinated on his motorcade in Dallas. The video has been scrubbed from every platform, and is no longer available.

DALLAS — John F. Kennedy Jr. appeared briefly in Dallas on Tuesday, as predicted by Qanon, and was seen waving to crowds from the sunroof of his bulletproof Cadillac before he was shot in the torso and carried off in what onlookers described as a black, deep-state ambulance.

He was smiling, “so happy,” and looked like he hadn’t aged a day in 22 years, said Maria Sabinski, 47, who showed up to witness the ‘Dead Kennedy’ come out from hiding.

JFK Jr. was expected to announce Trump’s presidency, dethroning Biden, and explain why everyone thinks he is rising from the dead.

“We heard a crack from the book depository, then two shots rang out from a grassy knoll,” she said, gesturing in each direction.

“His expression changed. He looked surprised, then pained, as he clutched a spot in his belly. They took him out of one black car and put him in another. Then they all sped off together, like a bat out of Hell.”

It's still got that new flag smell
A woman witnesses the assassination in broad daylight of JFK, Jr. who was scheduled to announce Trump the number one best president of all time.

JFK Jr., originally believed by uninquisitive NPC sheeple to have died in a plane crash over the Atlantic Ocean in 1999, was expected to declare Donald Trump as president.

Mere seconds before the world-shattering announcement, he was brutally murdered from the old book depository building, a security blind spot that has plagued presidential motorcades passing through Dallas for more than half a century.

Barry Knudsen, core disciple of QAnon and Lieutenant Digital Soldier, told reporters, “We are all QAnon, we are the main characters in this story. Where we go one, we go all.” He gestured at the crowd of weeping fans, “You see these guys and gals here, they aren’t just sheeple hiding behind their computers talking shit, like demoncrats. Look at their faces, they really want to protect the children. They really love the children. They’ll do whatever it takes.”

All mention of the incident was scrubbed from social media. QAnon fans who shared screenshots of deleted posts quickly faced system crashes after which their devices would no longer boot and upon close inspection were wiped of all data.

Dallas Sheriff Harold F. Gloasen told reporters, “We had no reports of a shooting, of shots fired, nothing. There were no permits issued for a motorcade through Dealey Plaza, and certainly no murder case for the long deceased JFK Jr.”

A mother, who asked not to be named, was out shopping with her 1-year-old infant when she passed by the confusion.

“First I was like ‘are they saying the Pledge of Allegiance right now?’ I didn’t even want to walk by them, but there were so many people they were blocking the sidewalk,” she said. “That’s when I saw John F. Kennedy Jr. hanging out of a limousine. I just went ‘huh, I thought he was dead.’ Now I guess he really is.”

The Biden Administration refuses to acknowledge the high-profile assassination of a political leader that until now, was presumed dead.

Our prayers are with the Kennedy family as they attempt to find out which underground deep-state human containment facility is processing the corpse of JFK Jr., the Herald of Truth.

 

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Religion Uncontrollable Patriotism

Is Humanity Party leader Christopher Nemelka behind the enigmatic #QAnon mask?

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Experts who once believed the Trump-allied persona “Q” to be a high-ranking official in the Energy Department are shifting their suspicions onto the mysterious leader of the Humanity Party (THumP), Christopher Nemelka.

In addition to enjoying near-total control of THumP, Nemelka runs a very successful cult on the Mormonism platform, and has published a great many books focused on spirituality, human advancement, and militarization of the Executive Branch.

On August 10, Floyd Yancey broke silence, becoming the first member of Anonymous to openly speculate Christopher Nemelka could be QAnon.
On August 10, Floyd Yancey broke silence, becoming the first member of Anonymous to openly speculate Christopher Nemelka could be QAnon.

Yancey, who goes by @soulreaping on Twitter (or Death on Facebook), says he is the creator of the iconic Guy Fawkes mask associated with Anonymous, and has deep connections to the mercurial, and oftentimes diaphanous, Anonymous hacker network.

Two weeks later, Anonymous heavy-hitters @YourMarkLubbers and @mezcal1323 opened a public dialog about the secretive cult leader. Some claim to have evidence Nemelka, a socially conservative, fiscal liberal who supports Trump, is associated with QAnon, if not somehow in direct control of the movement.

YourMarkLubbers attempts to keep Anonymous clean.
YourMarkLubbers attempts to keep Anonymous clean.

And so the search continues: Who is the true Good Old Boy? Anonymous experts say all signs point to Chris.

His blog is currently locked down. Internet Chronicle investigators are standing by. If you or someone you know has access to the Christopher Nemelka blog, please leave your contact information in the comments field below, and a fake news journalist will reach out through encrypted channels.

This message is brought to you graciously by Lebal Drocer, Inc. Contact us immediately.

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Uncontrollable Patriotism

Dr. Troubadour Accused of Running Fake News Boot Camp to Train Boys to Become Fake Newsmen

Troubadour is accused of amassing a child army
Troubadour is accused of amassing a child army.

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadour is being detained in a mobile diesel therapy unit en route to Cuthbert, Georgia in the Southeastern US, after documents tied him to a Lebal Drocer executive responsible for the stillborn deaths of hundreds of thousands of children in South Carolina, and who is sought in connection with an illegal “Fake News Bootcamp” where children are taught to write dangerous forms of Internet satire.

Georgia state authorities are seeking to question a prominent hate speech historian, Raleigh T. Sakers, who they suspect trained dozens of malnourished children to commit mass disinformation campaigns in their communities.

In addition to the defamed Lebal Drocer University professor Dr. Troubadour, recently released court documents accuse Sakers, the mysterious corporate executive behind the Lebal Drocer Uranium Waste Spill of 2011, of training children whose ages range from 16, all the way down to toddlers, to write lies, fabrications, and publish fake news under the guise of satire.

A Forced Product

Area man visually defines lost concept through ironic failure to do so

The purpose: To inflict harm by unleashing unrest, laughter, and disinformation upon the masses

Since the spring semester of Fake News For Fuck-Ups, Sakers’ students have come away jaded, sardonic, and world weary. Ready to attack our clean civilization.

“May you proceed into the world holding a mirror up to society. And may your mirror be concave, harness the power of the sun, and melt down your enemies with a fiery stare.”

–Plaque outside R.T. Sakers’ abandoned Cuthbert, Ga. office

Sakers, who is also accused of exploiting the poor and disenfranchised for personal gain, has absolved himself of all guilt.

But them Georgia boys was watchin’

Children are underfed and sent to bed without dinner, until they come up with something funny. | chronicle.su
Children are underfed and sent to bed without dinner, unless they write something funny. At a website where ‘mistruths are punished by mutilation or death,’ the kids walk a high wire between impressing their editors, and offending them with tepid trash.

Cuthbert Sheriff Richard Petty said, “We had learned the occupants were most likely heavily armed and considered satirical extremists.”

The court papers show that Sakers, author of the self-help series “Transcendental Man,” is heir to the  Lebal Drocer fortune, and hates fake news, as well as the so-called real news.

Georgia police executed a search warrant for Sakers and his estate after video surfaced of kids crying to be fed, while being forced to type on outdated computers in a hot crawlspace between two trailers.