Tim Kaine assumes Democratic Party leadership
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich.–Citizens mourn the loss of former US Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton, who surrendered to a mysterious illness Thursday, September 22, while chilling in Grand Rapids, Michigan, where she was scheduled to give a speech about being a woman.
Details are as yet unclear regarding the future of the 2016 presidential race, but sources close to the Clinton candidacy suggest all signs pointed to a Kaine-Trump ticket, and many politely refused to address obvious signs of Clinton’s declining health.
Donald Trump said he will no longer use “lamestream media” to promote his latest round of attacks on Hillary, sponsored by the return of Crystal Pepsi. In remarks to the Chronicle, Trump said efforts to whitewash Hillary’s dependence on human trafficking for income led her to “some really bad guys…is what’s probably fucking her up.”
Trump said dressing Hillary up as a woman of the people is like “putting lipstick on a pig.” He didn’t really say that. I said it. Actually, Obama said it about Palin:
2008: Obama poked fun of McCain and Palin’s new “change” mantra.
“You can put lipstick on a pig,” he said as the crowd cheered. “It’s still a pig.”
“You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called change. It’s still gonna stink.”
“We’ve had enough of the same old thing.”
But it’s all the same shit.
Hillary’s offices and files were seized by SWAT forces. An official at the scene said her remaining hard drives will be probed and held as evidence in pending judgments against her estate by the FBI.
WATCH BELOW: HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON LOSES CONTROL OF HER BODY NEAR MULTIPLE SECRET SERVICE ESCORTS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2sFeu3dFKms
As a result of your gross fixation on death, Clinton’s cause of death was an afterthought, merely appended to the end of this article, buried in this sentence, in which you learn she died of pneumonia.
Experts predict Trump may actually have a chance in her wake. His odds of winning improve greatly after Clinton’s death, since now she is unable to host a foreign campaign fundraiser, which was scheduled later in Vienna, Austria, a neutral country.
All the while, we do it doggystyle here at chronicle.su – stay with us because next time we meet, we will be exploring a whole new world of possibilities afforded to the very rich under either successive regime.
Before her death, Hillary slammed Trump when news broke of his plans for a lavish, expensive funeral service. Hillary said unlike her gaudy opponent, she will not have a big fancy funeral. Her simple request?
“I just want to be buried with my slaves.”
“If it ain’t Virginia neoliberalism, it ain’t Tim Kaine. ‘Cause Kaine does her The Virginia Way!”
Paid for by Tim Kaine.
This message proudly sponsored by Tim Kaine, our new Newtopian Overlord. All abord the Kaine Traine! ALL ABOOOOOOOARD!
24 replies on “Hillary Rodham Clinton dead at 70”
Jezuz jizz you’re a week behind hoaxin’ this for the max satire. You’re not only loosing your hair BUT you’re also loosing your touch ’cause old and out of touch like Killary. Next you’ll need dentures just like her. FYI you still can’t marry a Canadian for free dental but you can for a double lung transplant.
Could you write about Phiyscs so I can pass Science class?
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sallu acting in movies lik tere naan, hddcs and kuch kuch hota hai, superab but rest of his films are crap like his brother and sisters, now he is the no. 1 in bollywood, not actor but as a chutiya
Shoot! Forgot to mention – have tickets for Saturday’s show at WG!Anyone that has never seen “Noises Off”? Treat your self to a night out!(nice review – i should have stated that b4 – sorry)
I agree. The biggest issue, in my opinion, is that when money is easy and investors are afraid of losing a good opportunity, they end up putting money into anything that looks promising, even if it’s really underdeveloped ad does not solve a real problem.
I lireatlly jumped out of my chair and danced after reading this!
I like to party, not look atrocities up online. You made it happen.
Your parents fucking was bigley YUGE atrocity.
Little is known about most viral infections in reptiles, but they do exist. There are no treatments for viral infections and strict quarantine is of paramount importance prior to introduction to captive colonies. Sadly, immediate euthanasia may be an important tool in preventing spread of these extremely contagious organisms.
I’m so glad that the ineetnrt allows free info like this!
Nem tudom, hogy milyen kérdés, az a bosszantó, hogy ezek tulajdonképpen határ szar könyvek, klisés vadbaromságok, amelyek legfeljebb valami serdületlen elmét kötnek le – és mégse szabadulok tÅ‘lük… :-)Ezt hÃvják talán tehetségenek – meg az Å‘ elpazarlásának.
Hey ;), das Bildchen dazu hab ich gestern schnell gemacht, die Katze is nun mein Markenzeichen *gg*. Ohje 31 Fragen, da hast ja dann was zu tun :D. Ich werds lesen hihi! LG <3
HELP!!! I’VE FALLEN NEED THE SECRET SERVICE TO H0LD ME UP.
Trump Supporter Attacked In EL CAJON During Protest 2016 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o44Z824B_ks&sns=tw
#MakeAmerikkkaHateAgain
Lol at the vice prez debates or the faux Canadian equivalent.
Ps- Amerokkka haz had an intelligence purge hence the Trumpkinz and Killary supporters. ***sits back & watches kilarity ensue
This article acviehed exactly what I wanted it to achieve.
Your post captures the issue pectyrfle!
Pss- #gojayz
[…] on tombe sur le site Internet Chronicle, un site parodique qui annonçait aussi, par exemple, la mort d’Hillary Clinton en septembre 2016. Vous avez aussi ce site qui explique avec force arguments convaincants que la […]
[…] le site Internet Chronicle, un site parodique qui annonçait aussi, par exemple, la mort d’Hillary Clinton en septembre 2016. Vous avez aussi ce site qui explique avec force arguments […]
I am very glad hillary rodham clinton is dead, couldn’t happen to a nicer person. Ha Ha!
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