BOULDER, CO — Chet Goodman, 19, was killed last night when his lungs exploded from the use of what is called a “gravity bong,” to forcibly inhale marijuana smoke. Goodman had just returned to Boulder from his hometown of Los Angeles for fall semester at Colorado University, when his roommates suggested to ceremoniously get high […]
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LONDON — Reporters met with the anonymous Grandmaster and ranking 33rd degree member of the Illuminati, who stepped out of the shadows to accept responsibility for 9/11. The Grandmaster told Internet Chronicle Reporters, “9/11 was supposed to convince the world once and for all that religion is not the way to a better world. Our […]
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Comrade Putin revives Soviet Union
MOSCOW — After returning from a successful fishing trip, Comrade Putin announced a program intended to return to the Soviet ideal of rule according to today’s most cutting-edge Marxist thinking. Comrade Putin said, “No longer will we identify the glorious Soviet Republic with the old Russian monarchies. Yes, the Soviet system failed us, but our […]