ATLANTA–Alana Thompson, known to millions as “Honey Boo Boo,” passed away Tuesday morning from medical problems related to childhood obesity. She was seven. Grieving family members have forsworn their poor diets and addiction to energy drinks. “We ain’t drinkin’ that poison go go juice no more. They dun’ took little Honey Boo Boo Child away, […]
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Dancing Outlaw Jesco White Dead at 59
Bandytown, W.Va — Fans mourn iconic West Virginia wild-man Jesco White, who died at his Boone County home after inhaling twin doses of lighter fluid and gas fumes Saturday. Fans received a rude awakening who believed White finally got clean following the successes of Jescofest, a festival held in his honor, and the most recent […]
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American Pickers Renounce Homosexuality
SAN FRANCISCO–After recent rumors of a long-term homosexual relationship were spread by rabid fans of Danielle Colby Cushman, American Pickers stars Frank Fritz and Mike Wolfe held a press conference to publicly renounce homosexuality, denying they ever banged more than once. “They just did it for the attention,” said Danielle, “But they really are gay. […]