Search: “dr trou”

NEW YORK–Monday, Guy Ferry–known to television viewers as Guy Fieri (pronounced fee-eddy)–was hospitalized for life-threatening anal fissures. Anal fissures are tears in the rectum usually caused by vigorous insertions of increasingly large or strangely-shaped foreign objects without proper lubrication or training. Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, proctologist, said “These kind of deep anal fissures are often […]

INTERNET — Paula Broadwell, embattled mistress and biographer of David Petraeus, sent threatening anonymous emails to Jill Kelley including several common threats used by the hacking collective Anonymous. Analyst Angstrom H. Troubador suggests Paula Broadwell has the kind of access to top-secret files that Anonymous has only dreamed of until now, and commented, “She most […]

LANGLEY, VA. — CIA bigwig David Petraeus admitted to an extramarital affair with biography-mistress Paula Broadwell, who is now under FBI investigation for snooping through his emails. Internal documents obtained from the FBI and the Office of Senator David Vitter (R-LA) reveal that “Mrs.” Broadwell was likely employed by the notorious “D.C. Madam,” who “hung […]