Laura Sparkling’s chest acne proves, once and for all, that her crazy bipolar YouTube antics are really just the first signs of a born hero of Freemasonry. Hopefully she will join up before the Black Lodge burns her to death in her sleep with HAARP!
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Area Father Forced to Take His Belt Off
“I warned you I’d do this,” he said.
Richmond, Va. – Area father Mark Bialek, 44, removed his belt Tuesday after asking Tyler, his rambunctious five year old boy, not to touch that candy on the impulse rack of a local Kroger supermarket.
Ignoring his father’s demands, the child grabbed a fistful of animal crackers and ran full speed into a glass door, went into shock and collapsed in the floor.
Onlooker Stephen Meager compared it to the human equivalent of pigeons flying into library windows. “It was like he didn’t even know glass existed,” commented Meager.
The father, doubly enraged by his child’s insolence and resulting injury, unbuckled his belt and – with a pop of the wrist – had it off and folded over tightly in his right fist. Standing over his lame, quivering child, the father described likely changes the boy could expect in his physical and emotional state once the two found themselves alone, in the near future.
Conditions, Bialek said, are expected to transition rapidly from “a pussy fit” into “a blistered ass,” in the wake of remorseless vengeance for the perceived destruction of his golden years, hinging on his own prior assumptions that he had anymore human potential before he accidentally became a father than his iPhone 3 could already provide on its own.
Through bleary eyes, the beaten child’s mind processed his abuse as an uncharacteristic form of love, and relished the attention.
“That’s called tough love,” said Bialek, on his way out of the store. “The boy’s got to learn.”
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Is Gregory D. Evans th3j35t3r?
Patriot hacktivist th3j35t3r is known for attacking WikiLeaks, Westboro Baptist Church, Anonymous, and the Internet Chronicle. In a recent blogpost by Reaper Security, which is incredibly well-cited, th3j35t3r’s methods are laid bare. As it appears, th3j35t3r’s biggest victories have all been either totally faked, the work of others, or ridiculous exaggerations. Reaper Security once allied themselves with th3j35t3r but have since stated, “Stop taking credit for things you didn’t do, start giving credit where credit is due, and we’ll shut up. I still consider you a friend, though if you wish to label me as an enemy as you did on your blog, then so be it.”
Th3j35t3r has built up a strong reputation for charlatanry, and his career bears a striking resemblance to Gregory D. Evans of Ligatt security. Attrition.org has compiled an extensive list of Gregory D. Evans’ alleged misdeeds. These include spamming campaigns, check fraud, the purchase of fake Twitter followers, cyber bullying, and most damning, extensive plagiarism. Simply put, Gregory D. Evans’ behavior is entirely consistent with th3j35t3r’s. This connection comes on the heels of a recent campaign naming Tom Ryan of Provide Security as th3j35t3r. An Anonymous security expert commented, “If Evans can get Ryan smeared as the Jester, that’s one less competitor for him.”