axisflip cryptofinancial

Categories
Special Interest

Elf Wax Times: Demographic Research

Elf Wax Times offers anecdotal evidence for the majority of its readership. Also, how to fuck a magazine.

PLEASE IGNORE THIS MESSAGE FROM OUR SPONSOR:

Afkin
My only regret is that I did not hold CTRL+V any longer

okay that’s more like it.

this fucking thing doesn’t work but every so often when it wants to. okay, folks the elf wax times software is breaking down, like our minds. Would you like a new layout? There’s shit we can’t tell you about this site – horrible vulnerabilities that would bottom this piece of shit out if only you knew how to exploit them. But you don’t because you’re a n00b!

It’s becoming harder to manage, and easier to fuck up. Some of the links have stopped working for reasons we don’t care to fix. I don’t care, do you care? Nobody cares. That’s because you’re the kind of fans who would rather jerk your wrinked-up little cocks to Miley Montana than post a comment. And that’s cool.

But what I’m really disturbed to see is that fewer of you are finding The Elf Wax Times by way of “Miley fucks her father” through our good friends at google, better known as the world’s most efficient child pornography torrent finder dot com.

So for the last time (lol jk), we have offered you a beacon of sex googling where the real joke is on your own erection. So be it. You laughed, didn’t you?

Waynesville, N.C.–Good God, what have we created? Readers discover the humor found in this site the same way I discovered adult humor myself, as a small child.

I was a five year old boy, hanging out in the garage, “working” on cars with my Papaw. More like eating caramels in front of a heater on an old ripped-up carseat, but you get what I’m saying. Anyway, he was busy working on something and I got tired of drawing Model Ts and Model As (if ya know what I mean) so I started digging around through some boxes that turned out to belong to my uncle Randy. Man. I hope one day I get to write a book about THAT guy. He’s really something.

Anyway, I find these old porno mags, you know Playboy and whatever else, but there was also Hustler – where the bitches are laid out all spread-eagle spreading their pink so you can practice being a gynecologist in the privacy of your own bathroom. “Holy shit!” I thought. “This is what they have been hiding from me all these years.” I ran with the books to my bedroom, then into my bathroom and touched my weiner to the pages, thinking this is what sex was (it was not as satisfying as I’d hoped), as I took note of a woman able to lick her own genitalia. After numerous failed attempts to do the same, I just sort of continued to rub my weiner all over the pages, because that felt best out of anything. WHAT? I mean, I didn’t know how to jerk off, what was I supposed to do?

In my quest to discover which page felt best rubbed against my weiner, I was fascinated to discover a comic, drawn inside a circle like that failure of a comic you might mistakenly hope to be entertaining and read every couple of years called “The Family Circus.” And what a family this was! It was a girl sucking what the caption would have me believe was her brother’s dick on the front porch while their father stood in the open doorway, pointing her like a dog toward the back of the trailer and yelling a vowel that looked like “eggs.”

“This is what girls are for,” I thought, and stopped rubbing my junk all over the pages. I took immediate comfort in knowing I had used the magazine incorrectly, and that my uncle probably hadn’t pressed his junk against this magazine at all. But in this moment a new realization hits me. What DID hit the pages?

So, I want to know, is that how you guys feel after reading The Elf Wax Times?

Yes, we can acknowledge The Elf Wax Times is just a dick joke you didn’t hope to find while searching for the glory hole nearest you.

actual elf wax related searches include:

1. sexting
2. carl sagan weed
3. sexting pics
4. elf wax

Yes, elf wax is fourth.

5. lesbians

rofl

6-10 are variants on elf wax times, and many others are either not so funny or repetitive..

15. blowojob party
16. butt hole
19. daughter fucks dad
20. elf fuck
21. elf rape
22. glory holes in virginia
25. miley cyrus sexting
26. my daughters a whore
27. nc blowjob law

which, interestingly enough, can be found on elf wax times

28. nick jonas sexting

(he is rumored to have sexted w/ miley cyrus which means it really happened and must exist on the internet somewhere, google)

30. roanoke va whores

and so on. there are hundreds upon hundreds of these, so here are some of our favorites:

10 replies on “Elf Wax Times: Demographic Research”

カルティエクロノプッシャー拡張クラウン構造に挿入すると、非常にエレガントに見えた。実際には、あなたは現在あなたがクロノプッシャーを含むその地域に気がつきます、程度の3つの版を見るならば、たとえそれが現れるとして設計された最初からプッシャーは最終的にそこにいるだろうと計画した。それは多分実際のケース。2012年度の口径のクロノグラフ、42 mmの広幅鋼または18 kピンクゴールドケースとブレスレットまたはストラップオプションは、初めから入手可能で利用される。 http://www.newkakaku.com/lxq8.htm

ガス針表「夜光一流、耐震抜群、幸運で正確で、長持ちして丈夫”の品質の特徴になる原因スイスの有名な専門军表旧家。1892年にガス針表から製造専門軍用腕時計、军表製造史百年を超える。ドイツ、イギリス、インドなど多くの国の軍隊は大量に使用したガス針表。戦の間に、イギリスのラクダ特殊兵、イギリス空軍とインド軍は使い捨て http://www.fujisanbrand.com/pack/buygo/index_6.html

これは一種の海馬シリーズの腕時計、そのデザインセンスはさかのぼって1956年オメガの「海馬16」記念表項(Seamaster XVI)。ブランドコピー1956年にメルボルンで行われた第16回オリンピック大会を記念としオメガ1957年オリンピックの指定カウントダウンの25週年で、オメガ特別の発表した「海馬16」記念表項。 http://www.eevance.com/tokei/chanel/index.html

上記のリンクで、あなたはiwc iwcのポルトガル年間カレンダーsihh 2015年頃デビューしたとき、私たちの最初のレポートを読むことができます。その後まもなく、我々はポルトガル語の「家族は本当に唯一の新しいバージョンであったことを経験することができました。我々は、まだわからないことは、文字通りの名前」をそれぞれのポルトガル語ポルトガル語iwcの腕時計への良い考えであったと確信します。バレンシアガバッグスーパーコピー」という名前かもしれない後者より歴史的に正確な」ブランドの歴史が我々のポルトガルの「ちょうど欠けないクラスと多くのロールを正確に舌」と言っているのは、英語を話す人に。なぜ、あなたはそのように何かのブランドの旗艦のドレスウォッチコレクションを増したい(ないとは思いませんが、私たちは、ポルトフィーノの彼らの旗艦のドレスウォッチですか? http://www.bagkakaku.com/vuitton_bag/2/N51206.html

もっと錦上に花を添えるの来場者は、また感じる「Rolex(ロレックス)愛の中国」というメッセージ、そして有事での証。まず、Rolex(ロレックス)が中国で多額の投資。ロレックスコピー次に、それと競争相手と同じで、積極的に賛助中国スター、彼らを招待ブランド。を含む世界ランキング第五の中国网坛名将李娜(2011年フランスオープン女子シングルス優勝、そしてここから1位になって、グランドスラム大会に優勝したアジア選手)、そのチームメイト郑洁(かつて摘みのグランドスラムダブルス)、中国の順位の第1のゴルファーの梁文冲や、国際上で高い名声を有し中国人ピアニスト王羽佳とユンディ・リ。 http://www.gowatchs.com/brand-214.html

Leave a comment (or don't)