LOS ANGELES– It is our sad duty to report American pop idol Lady Gaga has been diagnosed with brain cancer.
A Saturday announcement confirmed physicians discovered what has been called an “inoperable” malignant tumor in the brain of Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, perhaps known better as Lady Gaga, after the singer complained of feeling more run down and fatigued than usual.
Lady Gaga is being treated at the Cedars-Sinai medical institution. She thanked her fans for their support in this difficult time, encouraging everyone to “stay strong,” reassuring the public she “will persevere.”
Germanotta’s agent requested media and fans to contact Lady Gaga, as usual, care of her record labels, Def Jam Records, and Interscope.
Lady Gaga stopped using cell phones two years ago because of paranoia that they might cause brain cancer. Saturday’s news indicates she may not have stopped soon enough.
There has been no word yet as to whether the Born This Way Ball Tour (on The Road To Love) will continue as scheduled.
Identifying every single thing that happens with a keyword destroys any value it might have accrued on an Internet flooded with “news” blogs whose sole purpose is to sell advertising space. We should know. Look to the right –>
You can’t find an informative, well-written article about something anymore because it has been totally buried by ignorance, or worse – pure disinformation – contained in forty five thousand pages “optimized” for search engines.
The spread of information doesn’t know the difference between right and wrong. A poisonous ideology will often spread faster than a useful one. For example, the idea that Anonymous, by its very “nature,” can’t be corrupted was so absurd, we just had to report on it. Remember Sabu? Arrested June 7th: Check ’em.
“It’s become an awful disease.”
Kilgore Trout, legendary inventor of Anon Porn, now known as “Sexy Fawkes”
From a cramped cgi apartment littered with nothing but Ayn Rand, Barrett Brown orchestrates the downfall of oppressive regimes with Project PM, short for Persona Management. Using a highly sophisticated array of thousands of fake online identities, Brown’s project destabilizes government and foments rebellion across the Middle East.
While closely working with Aaron Barr, Brown was able to remove all the good stuff from the HBGary leak, which explains the lack of evidence about rampant corruption. The government is the only entity with pockets deep enough to pull off such an elaborate plot, and it follows that Brown is ultimately under their pay.
Brown’s close association with Sabu immediately raised questions among his supporters within Anonymous. Thousands of Twitter accounts unfollowed him out of pure suspicion. @Anonymously27 said, “There’s no reason to ever trust Barrett Brown ever again. If he’s not been turned, everyone around him has.”
Experts agree, Barrett Brown was actually never turned by the FBI. He’s always worked for them.
We make a lot of money talking about the truth on Lebal Drocer, Inc. Radio HATE at chronicle.su after-hours. Thursday we talked about aliens with accomplished author Kilgore Trout, an expert on aliens and the paranormal who is currently laboring over the Internet Anti-Hero Handbook (tentatively titled). He explained the possibility that extraterrestrials are either too small, nimble or by some other means imperceptible. Tyler Bass, renowned Washington journalist and Capitalist, indicated the Roswell crash was a false flag cover-up. Beefrave concurred that the United States Government may very well be encouraging the promulgation of UFO conspiracies.
Aurora, Colo. – Derek R. Anderson took the lead for top najjace during Monday’s Gvoš na travi preliminary tryouts during which Ivan Ignoarabitch pulled a hamstring doing the Gvoš na dance, as is customary when playing the goalie position at any field outside the nation of Latvia. The practice of dancing during away matches is intended to shame the home team, but really looks quite silly, as Anderson demonstrates throughout the footage below.
Friday night’s match-up between Encyclopedia Dramatica and Oh! Internet is sure to be dead in the water, as no one is likely to attend either website, ditching them in favor of the legendary chronicle.su, who is a pretty cool guy, and doesn’t afraid of anything.
We win at pretty much everything, even Gvoš na travi, which we don’t play because that sport is for faggots.
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Athens– Fans mourn the loss of Giorgio A. Tsoukalos, the Ancient Alien Theorist better known by his Ancient Annunaki name, ‘Γεώργιος Α. Τσούκαλος,’ who died early Saturday morning at his home in Athens.
Tsoukalos was pronounced dead at 2:42 a.m. GST. Cause of death was listed as “Multiple grievous wounds,” He was 34.
No foul play was suspected in his death. Tsoukalos is survived by seven ex-wives and twelve children.
Because no will was entered into the public record, Tsoukalos’ charity for the development of a space elevator will dissolve.
The Tsoukalos Estate, a multi-trillion dollar international religion, is to be turned over to his next of kin.
Giorgio Tsoukalos rose as a leader in the US government’s top-secret Project Blue Beam, which plans to ensnare the entire world in a new space cult founded on Ancient Alien Theories. The Ancient Alien TV show recently came under fire after documents Anonymous revealed from Stratfor showed that the History Channel was paid directly from the Bohemian Grove Trust Fund in exchange for more Ancient Aliens. Ancient Alien Theorist Theorists now believe Giorgio Tsoukalos will become the leader of a new world religion which will dominate earth after HAARP fires off a worldwide auroral light show on December 21, 2012. This date, of course, was chosen by the government because of its mystical significance to Native Americans and television addicts.