9/11 of the Mind LIVE! AT THE CIVIC CENTER ARENA

WARNING: Parental Discretion is ABSOLUTELY ADVISED.

THE FOLLOWING IS EXTREMELY INSENSITIVE AND SHOULD NOT BE VIEWED BY ANYONE, EVER. Original Tragedies happen every day, but at Lebal Drocer, they can happen any time!

And now this message:

9/11 is retarded. Listen to this. If you are still falling for that old, watch-out-or-9/11-could-happen-again trick, I got news for you, son:

Ain’t nothin‘ in that for you. This about money. This about power. This about high level politics that have nothing to do with your cowardly fear and hatred of other people who ain’t like you. This about hacking, brother. This about the nukes. Park in the hot sun and come out here.

This about the Moon Landing, which happened. This about the political Mind Crawler that penetrated your thoughts, printed itself onto every page in the media, and left you high and dry on propaganda, sucking daddy’s thumb. This about the rocket that just landed twice. Of course I still love you.

This is like the 9/11 of thought, dude

From sportswriters to President Business, the 9/11 incantation is spat out across altars and danced around until a devil appears in the smoke and asbestos, and the towers fall on command. This is the real news.

Happiness is an illusory reprieve from deep suffering. Some folks call it a kaiser blade. I call it a sling blade. Baby’s buried in the yard. Moles found him.

Remember TV, when you had to “catch” things? 9/11 got the highest ratings in TV history. Catch the all-new 9/11 Thursday at 8, on NBC. See why critics are calling it the worst tragedy in history!

This episode is brought to you by Lockheed-Martin, United Airlines, and Tyler Perry’s Drone Wars, a new sitcom about four quirky Muslims hiding in a bomb shelter.

LEBAL DROCER OWNS THIS WEBSITE AND EVERYTHING YOU SEE It’s still a pretty good old website, though.
The funniest part about the 911 truth movement is when they said the whole northeast fleet had training that day and they were outta the office.

They said every fucking aircraft was occupied. They couldn’t bring down the other plane.
We were baked watching ground zero footage.

They said they were taking an early lunch.

There’s a recruitment center right in the middle of Times Square, in front of the famous tiny NYPD station. Go in there and join us, or die.

dank memes win key states in hotly contested 2016 deflection

a sore victory for democrats, hill quinton tastes the gold as she bath her self in tears of the sun.

meanwhile doanald trumpf is on fire at the oscars “but why not a blacks>”

oklahoma feeling the burn as kittens are catipulted into ionospheric quest for dank new horizons. “it’s full of memes” cats report

i really didn’t think it would end like this

yeb

high school principal comes out and reminds a high student with high ideas no running in the hallways. no horse play its dangerous

 

Diablo III – It’s prettay prettay prettay prettay . . . good

Diablo IIIThe American gaming male automatically degenerated into an alternating cycle of hardcore gaming and furious, repeated bouts of masturbation Tuesday after Mother Blizzard released her tepid seed into the yawning, fertile womb of jilted fantasy gamers who have already seen enough WoW expansions to make General Patreus reconsider an extensive Iraq strategy.

The most celebrated feature of the game thus far is that in Diablo III, you’re no longer a slave to reading. Audio lore gives you experience points as you continue about your quest by reading your own journal entries to you. No longer will gamers groan at the sight of glowing books which fall open into the floor in front of them.

Diablo III journals are now jam-packed full of game lore you never cared about before, but sounds really cool coming through your speakers as you ransack the libraries where you found it, like an SS squado looking for ze papers.

Diablo III is well-optimized to run on computers dating all the way back to 2007, when Barack Obama was busy hiring the white collar criminals responsible for America’s economic collapse onto his financial planning committees. Those were shitty computers back then, but they will still run Diablo III at medium settings and you won’t feel like the poor kid whose left light up sneaker stopped working a week in because you did the Macarena too hard. Good luck with Minecraft, though. NASA is still working on a PC capable of running it at maximum render distance.

The NSA supercomputer might be able to blanket the United States with Constitutional rights violations, but it still can't keep up with Tribes: Ascend
The NSA supercomputer might be able to blanket the United States with Constitutional rights violations, but it still can't keep up with Tribes: Ascend.

Many new games push medium-rated hardware beyond their limits, unreasonably so. Recommended specs if you want to run Tribes: Ascend, for example, requires that your computer be qualified to run CERN supercollider calculations as theorized having taken place on the varied surfaces of distant asteroids, providing NASA had a budget and Hi-Rez Studios wasn’t run by Jews hell-bent on absorbing it.

Diablo III has you shooting the shit out of Thriller extras with both hands; it even has rapid-fire drawstring longbows which makes no sense at all, except magic. Instead of magic, however, the Demon Hunter – like chronicle.su – balances hate with discipline to land combination attacks of rippling snarefuck and piercing arrows of godlessness.

The storyline enlists you – the main character, whoever you are – to assist Leah with various quests and, without raping her, collaborate with this old Nick Oliveri-looking dude to own up on some shit-eating demons. You even get to help a guy kill his wife who, inexplicably, is a mini-boss loaded to the tits with rare magical items and gold. She’s a sweetheart, though. Play to find out why.

I’m about to.

It’s $60. The first coolguy to leave us a comment on this review (with your email in the appropriate field) gets an official chronicle.su Diablo III guest pass providing free access to early gameplay.