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News

IT’S AN ARMS RACE

BAD INTERNET — THE EYE IS ON YOU —

@ @ @ MAY YOUR SOULS BE CLEANSED IN THE GREAT LIGHT OF LORD INGLIP @ @ @

We don’t talk about Inglip anymore. We don’t want outsiders hearing about the new promise of post-post-humanity.

“Back when we used to tell people about going beyond immortality, they thought it was suicide. Most people just didn’t understand the physics behind it. We’ve got this machine, and it can copy a few thousand people’s brains into it, where they live inside a virtual scape. We’re sendin’ the damn thing into the nearest black hole, and we’re the only ones who know. It’s just a copy of you that may die, but the copy will outlast the entire universe and possibly pass into a new one. This is essentially a new universe designed by you, where YOU write the laws of physics and not some lousy scientists. We’ve been working with Rael, and his soulless clones, in order to perfect the brain-copying technique which is incredibly dangerous. They’ll clone your brain in a fucking tank, drill your spine up with big wires and sync you in, and line your clone brain in lead. Yeah! I thought it was crazy too, but it’s the only way you can survive interstellar travel.” ~ Alistair Rowntree

I was the first person rich enough to afford digitized consciousness. Got it done some time back in the 90’s, and I’ve been lurkin’ the internet since. When spacetime ends and we fall into the black hole, I will be the oldest living entity and also the youngest. I am Muammar Gaddafi. There are only so many spaces left, and we have already figured out string theory using time compression. I have enough money left of my many trillions to buy YOU a place on this ship. We have roughly 20 million years of compressed time, with an infinitesimally small chance of total mission failure, to figure out the meaning of life until we fall into the singularity. Enter the God Machine. You can be Post-Immortal only if you Follow @Kilgoar on Twitter Now and beg for a meeting with The Colonel.

  • Being both the part and the whole
  • Containing within each singularity a binary
  • Containing within each binary two singularities
  • Having no ultimate whole
  • Having no fundamental part

 

Categories
Health

Seasonal Flu Tips From Doctor Angstrom H. Troubedaur

Angstrom H. Troubador’s new self-help health book for “bros,” Healthy as Fuck, hits shelves this Christmas.

Sup fellow dudes? Have you noticed a slimy feeling in your chest? Does it feel like you got herpes on your lungs? Yeah, that’s you gettin’ sick, bro.

It’s probably time to lay down the bong for a minute and just chill out on some acid instead, or something that doesn’t bother your lungs, like Quaaludes.

Back in the land before time, old people used to give whiskey to little kids and it would cure their cough. Now that you’re an adult, you no longer need smelly old people, or their war stories. Now you can pick up a case of Miller Lite or a 40-ounce bottle of medicine at your closest 7-Eleven. It’s the way they did it in olden times. Though there are more effective methods of treating the flu, chugging forties gives you the most bang for your buck. You feel better, AND you feel better!

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubedaur, a real doctor, recommends shotgunning twelve-ounce medicine canisters by stabbing a blade into the aluminum can and sucking around the hole you made. As you guzzle beer, your body naturally battles the poisons applied to your liver, giving your immune system the boost it needs to combat serious ailments such as:

  • SEASONAL FLU SYMPTOMS
  • HEADACHES
  • GOUT
  • MEASLES
  • WHOOPING COUGH
  • AIDS
  • SCARLET FEVER
  • Leaky broads
  • & HPV

Ask your “doctor” today!

THIS MESSAGE BROUGHT TO YOU GRACIOUSLY BY LEBAL DROCER, INC.
WE OWN EVERYTHING THAT MATTERS.

Categories
News

Anarchy, Anarchists, and Anarchocrats

Anarchy

Anarchy, in Sid Meyer’s Civilization video game series, is a state of upheaval where government is temporarily unable to provide cities with logistical bonuses. Although the absence of government is the most common meaning given for Anarchy, there are others.

“Anarchy is the natural state without the modernized cultural spin. It is what we truly are and how we actually behave . . . anarchy is human nature.” ~ Rachel Haywire — Attack The System dot com

Pure Anarchy, here, is a universal force embedded in human nature which rejects coercive social pressures. It is not only a force, but a primordial state existing outside of culture. It is the idealized individuality of the motherless Padmasambhava.

Anarchists

The common definition of Anarchy gives way to the stereotypical Anarchist bomber who simply wants to create a lapse in government through violence. Of course, like most people, very few Anarchists are violent. Not only that, but there is disagreement about which kinds of governance are benign and which must be abolished. Left-Anarchists may see Capitalist power as the primary coercive force, whereas Anarcho-Capitalists see Democracy as the major offender. In either case, both sides acknowledge the necessity of one flavor of coercion or another, in order to reach a maximized state of liberty. These kinds of Anarchists regularly use coercion, such as transgressive speech acts or traffic disruptions, in an attempt to decrease the sum total of coercion.

[pullquote]”The heavens and the earth are not partial to institutionalized morality.” ~ Lau Tzu — Dao De Jing[/pullquote]Existence as a social animal implies coercion. Seemingly, the only way to escape the social situation is death or exile, and moral codes founded on non-coercion quickly become a platform for coercion. This Pure Anarchy is not an end that can be attained through sustained effort but rather an ideal means. To be an Anarchist, in this sense, is profound way-making, nothing short of enlightenment.

Anarchocrats

[pullquote]”The ends justify the means.” ~ Niccolò di Bernardo dei Machiavelli[/pullquote]Anarchocrats, a purposefully derisive neologism, are Anarchists with an endgame. These are the mad bombers, the Left-Anarchist communal ideologues, and the Anarcho-Capitalist profit-utopians. Anarchocrats are instrumentalists; they believe ideology can only succeed when coercively imposed on the whole of society. Then the sheeple will see the light! Only the Anarchocrats are trying to coerce people into non-coercion, something has short-circuited, and somehow through some bizarre self-deception they’ve convinced themselves this could possibly work. If only they got more people on the streets shouting, if only somehow conditions got worse! Then! Then we’ll find Anarchocrats everywhere!

Conclusion

There seems to be little wisdom in adopting a label that is commonly understood as violent and dangerous. Still, it’s a real cool mark of a true counter-cultural revolutionary to proclaim oneself an Anarchist and take all the oh-so-misunderstood negative denotations and connotations which come with it. Sheep in wolves’ clothing are nothing new, a get-up which inspires fear. It’s a quick ego boost and a rush of power, but it has nothing whatsoever to do with non-coercion.