Month: November 2012

Categories
News

Paula Broadwell’s Anonymous Threats

Paula Broadwell is Anonymous

INTERNET — Paula Broadwell, embattled mistress and biographer of David Petraeus, sent threatening anonymous emails to Jill Kelley including several common threats used by the hacking collective Anonymous.

Analyst Angstrom H. Troubador suggests Paula Broadwell has the kind of access to top-secret files that Anonymous has only dreamed of until now, and commented, “She most likely leaked the really good stuff that Bradley Manning couldn’t even get to. That new TYLER program, it’s pretty slick. Anyone can get away with leaks now! That shit’s made by occultist cryptographers. Real serious business.”

[pullquote]”We are Anonymous. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect us, Jill Kelley.” ~ Paula Broadwell[/pullquote]The FBI investigation has turned up no evidence of leaks, as would be expected, but rumors have caused the Pentagon to grind to a halt, as computer experts comb through billions of wires for traces of Paula Broadwell and her threatening Anonymous communications.

ABC reports:

Earlier this year, around the time that Petraeus and Broadwell were breaking off their affair, Kelly began receiving anonymous emails, which she found so threatening she went to authorities. The FBI traced the messages, which have been linked to the hacking collective Anonymous, to Broadwell’s computer, where they found other salacious and explicit emails between Broadwell and Petraeus that made it clear to officials that the two were carrying on an affair.

 

Categories
Entertainment

BATTLEFIELD 3 TEACHES KIDS IMPORTANT SKILL OF COMBAT COMMUNICATION

SMALL CHILDREN EVERYWHERE HAVE BRISTLED AT THE BARK OF GUNFIRE. EACH DAY, YOUR SONS AND DAUGHTERS REMORSELESSLY ANNOUNCE THE BOMBINGS OF VILLAGES, AND THEY HAVE HEARD THE CRIES OF DYING MEN THEY MUST IGNORE.

But are they ready for the EXPANSION PACK?

Snap into RAGEMODE with anonymous rednecks everywhere through five channel full virtual surround sound and ORDER YOURSELF A MURDER.

BATTLEFIELD 3 TRIGGERS THE MOST REALISTIC WAR FLASHBACKS OUT OF ANY OTHER GAME ON PS3
BATTLEFIELD 3 IS THE ONLY GAME KNOWN TO TRIGGER REAL FLASHBACKS

THIRST FOR BLOOD-RED MURDER THIS HOLIDAY SEASON WITH Aftermath™ – A REALISTIC WAR SIMULATOR OF ACTION AND VIOLENCE!

 DO YOUR DUTY, PEPSI-CHILDREN, AND GET ON THAT FUCKING BATTLEFIELD.

And now, a message from our sponsor:

Categories
News

Miley Sex Bieber Psy Scandal Cancer Dies at 27

EPOXY FUMES — Earlier Friday Evening, Nobody believed Miley could have sexed Psy and Bieber who gave her cancer. Then she died, and the results were released to the Internet forever.

Sex gives them the cancer. Now Miley has the cancer and she will die. Hannah Montana is dead from cancer. This is because she had sex with Psy. Justin Bieber Died from Sex with Selena ‘Cancer’ Gomez. She had sex with Psy. He had sex with Bieber.

Hannah Montana ALWAYS Hated Miley Cyrus. “That pretentious little stuck up bitch!” she once said while the cameras were still rolling. It is a viral video on youtube. If you can’t find it, that’s only because they enforced their hegemonic copyright corporation machine.

And then all the little children started rattling off insane references to Baudrillard and Foucault. “The panopticon!” they screamed, whenever their parents tried to take their pictures. “Get that simulacra machine away from us, you conniving hegemons!” Kids.

The first graders started crying loudly of the fallacy of authority, as the exasperated teacher conspired with the weaklings among them forcing a hypnotic nap session. She bought them off with ice cream and hugs. Democracy is the enemy.

de-jected headlines

Kanye West was a Gold Digger.

Diesel prices are bottoming out.

Driners, Dive-in and Drives with Gay Fairy

Soviet Union Domain Lobbyists Ask Chronicle For Public Support

Why are “they” still maintaining Soviet Union Domains?

Will the Soviet Union Rise Again?

Can’t be afraid of no cheese. More Cheese the Better.
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Fuck you.