Author: Kilgoar

The Twitterverse is a dark, lonely place at the bottom. Sentence by sentence, people you’ve never met bombard you with new and terrifying ideas. Twitter is like Sex Weed IN THE KITCHEN. Once you get a taste, there’s no going back.

There is a foundation layer of empty accounts existing only to inflate the power and egos of celebrities. These bots are purchased by the tens of thousands. This is the backbone of Twitter, and the source of all social power. He who controls these accounts controls the Twitterverse. Both WikiLeaks and The Government control millions of these kinds of accounts.

These accounts can be used with a computer program to plant certain memes into the entire Twitter collective. It seems that people are being whipped into a sexual fervor by a government campaigning against depopulation. This renewed interest in Sex Weed IN THE KITCHEN will underpin nationalism and help encourage hate of immigrants. There will be a new generation of baby boomers, and labor prices will plummet.

Somehow, they’re doing it all 140 characters at a time. Why the fuck can’t they just give us an even, fair 200? There’s so many times a few more characters would have really helped drive a point home. Don’t even suggest splitting statements into separate Tweets or using TwitLonger. That’s fucking not the same at all and you know it.

You are the last person on Earth, and the survival of humanity depends on you ejaculuating into this woman:

My dear j35t3r, you are a bottomless source of lulz.

When I helped ruin your Westboro Baptist Psy-Op, Topiary took all the glory and I stole all your troll food. You were a failure then, and you are a failure now. You may be pretty good at throwing packets around, but that doesn’t mean you have any valuable skills. I have all the insanely advanced Computer Science 101 it takes to do what you do, but I can get attention for my cause without the parlor tricks you pass for hacktivism. This site gets nearly as much traffic as yours without the need for that kind of childish behavior.

Lately, no one’s been paying attention to you. That makes you a sad little troll, eh? Your recent confrontation with John Tiessen not only proves you are desperately in need of attention, but it also shows how fearful you are of engaging truly skilled trolls. Remember that hilarious, substantive troll about Hugo Carvalho I published on pastebin in your name? You denied it before I could even refresh the page to see the view count. I guess you were saving all your attention for this obstreperous John Tiessen nutjob. I guess it’s just natural that you’d pick the low hanging fruit. It’s okay, you know I’m a pro, and you know not to fuck with me.

John Tiessen is right though, you are a Newt Gingrich. The fact that Tiessen is a sex offender only strengthens his point. It takes one to know one, as they say. You’re an adult who believes that the childish DDoS of Jihadist web sites justifies the illegal possession of a bot-net. You rape the computers of children, old women, wounded soldiers, and the general public just so you can get the kind of attention that other writers at this site and I command with pure creativity. And then, most insulting of all, you use what you do as a platform to collect donations for Wounded Warriors and yourself. You sick Newt Gingrich.

I hope you enjoy your empty bitcoin purse and your dwindling traffic. Your 15 minutes of fame are up, loser. Tick-tock, tango down, stay frosty. Get the fuck off the internet forever, please.

Yours truly,

Someone much better than you

P.S. As a joke, I advertised my bitcoin address (18zJouAQAMzX5sJygZ4M2QV7yb8FzxSbdq) and begged for money to spend on Silk Road. Since then, I have received more donations than you ever will.