Author: Hatesec

I am the hatest

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Categories
Special Interest

CHRONICLE.SU ABANDONS GOOGLE ADSENSE

CHRONICLE.SU EDITOR MEDIA MOGUL SAID GOODBYE TO GOOGLE SUNDAY FOLLOWING A DISPUTE OVER PAYMENT OF “ASTRONOMICAL PROPORTIONS.”

GOOGLE INC, THE LARGEST CRIME RING IN HUMAN HISTORY, DEFENDED THEIR SUSPICIOUS CLIENTELE OF TACO HUSTLERS AND PRO-LIFE AGENDA FROM LITIGATION SUNDAY AFTER CHRONICLE.SU PARENT COMPANY LEBAL DROCER, INC. DEMANDED PAYMENT FOR ADSPACE FROM THE 1% ON THE LEGENDARY HATE SITE CHRONICLE.SU.

CHRONICLE.SU IS THE WORLDS FIRST ANTI-CORPORATE INCORPORATED NEWS SOURCE

MEDIA MOGUL REPORTEDLY SAID, “FUCK IT!” ADDING, “WE’LL DO IT LIVE,” WITHOUT ENDORSEMENT OF ANY KIND.

“TOO BAD WE GOT MORE PAYMENT IN IRONY THAN THEY COULD EVER GIVE US IN CASH,” SAID CHRONICLE HATEMONGER KILGORE TROUT.

“WE AREN’T QUITE SURE WHAT WE’VE DONE,” REPORTED FRANK MASON FROM HIS DESK IN HAWAII, “BUT SOMEHOW WE’VE PERPETRATED AGAINST THE ONE PERCENT.”

THEY FINANCED TERRORISM.

CHRONICLE.SU HAS OFFICIALLY LOST THE SUPPORT OF MASTERCARD, VISA, AMAZON AND THOSE GUYS THAT FUNNEL GUNS INTO THE HANDS OF POOR CHILDREN WHO CAN’T READ.

  • CHRONICLE.SU
    • TERRORIST NETWORK

AFTER GOOGLE COMPLAINED OF THE “ILLICIT CONTENT” [OF TRUTH] FOUND AT CHRONICLE.SU – AND WARNED THEY WOULD PULL FUNDING FROM THE PROJECT UNLESS CHRONICLE.SU CHANGED COURSE – LEBAL DROCER, INC. DELETED THE CODE FROM ITS SERVERS AND FAXED THEM GOOD OLD BOYS AT GOOGLE A BLACK AND WHITE COPY OF FUCK YOU.

LET THIS BE A STRONG WARNING TO THE REST OF YOU WEBSITES WHO DON’T CARRY GOOGLE IN YOUR HEARTS: YOU’RE NEXT.

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Categories
Law

TH3J35T3R steals credit for UGNazi fuck-up

Manhattan– The internet police monitored the illicit activities of “hacker” Mir Islam in order to effectively establish undercover agents in his midst. Hilariously, an agent brought him an FBI-issue credit card pre-loaded with OMG DON’T TOUCH THAT MONEY funds. The agent said it was a counterfeit credit card pre-programmed with legitimately stolen credit card numbers. Islam – being a lazy, ignorant bastard – believed what the federal agent told him and was subsequently arrested after he tried to use it. Somehow, the jester is taking credit for this.

The FBI:

Mir Islam, a.k.a. “JoshTheGod,” trafficked in stolen credit card information and possessed information for more than 50,000 credit cards. Islam also held himself out as a member of “UGNazi,” a hacking group that has claimed credit for numerous recent online hacks, and as a founder of “Carders.Org,” a carding forum on the internet.

Last night, Islam met in Manhattan with an individual he believed to be a fellow carder – but who, in fact, was an undercover FBI agent – to accept delivery of what Islam believed were counterfeit credit cards encoded with stolen credit card information. Islam was placed under arrest after he attempted to withdraw illicit proceeds from an ATM using one of the cards.

Today, the FBI seized the web server for UGNazi.com and seized the domain name of Carders.org, taking both sites offline.

FBI Takedown by the Numbers
Source: FBI

In May, UGNazi’s supposed identity was revealed; however, exposure did not deter attacks on things th3j35t3r loves, which did not necessarily piss off law enforcement agencies, either.

Nor did it prevent him from going on the record about the Six Flags attack in his passive accent and limiting high school alpha male persona.

Pointless slapfighting ensued and, with the exception of rustling Roseanne Barr’s jimmies, nothing really got accomplished until today, when agents on federal payroll did their jobs proving once again that a college education and eight hour workday are all you really need to protect what’s left of a restless, decaying society.

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Categories
Technology World

Topiary pleads guilty to satisfy the butthurt bloodlust of a wretched justice system

This is a horse

Topiary (Jake Davis) plead guilty to excellent charges of heroism, including an attack on the Serious Organized Crime Agency (SOCA).

SOCA is an unjust, contradictory agency established by the Illuminati to attack internet security through freedom reduction.

Dr. Liebehart Schwartz of the Cannibiological Institute of Human Progress called Topiary a “hero” and “a freedom fighter,” for fighting against authority with not just technical prowess, but his words, too. “Because of toxic organizations like SOCA and the NSA, people are less safe on the internet now than they were in the year 2000. [pullquote]With Topiary’s wit and charm, LulzSec was able to captivate a larger audience, earning their sympathy and support. That’s what made him dangerous.[/pullquote]”A blind migrant worker can exploit a security vulnerability left over from Web 2.0.” said Schwartz, “But with Topiary’s wit and charm, LulzSec was able to captivate a larger audience, earning their sympathy and support. That’s what made him dangerous.”

Asperger’s enthusiast Ryan Cleary also pled guilty to various charges, none of which included being a snitch.

Eat your cheese, rat.

Topiary enjoys a large support base including #FreeTopiary on Twitter, young intellectuals, and the mighty thundercock of justice and hate better known by you as the chronicle.su.

Topiary and his lesser counterparts will stand trial April 2013. If convicted, Topiary faces prison time. Make no bones about it, he will be handed a prison sentence, which should make for a more interesting year for everyone who has watched the LulzSec case from beginning to end, after the Beast of Greed and Delusions rears its ugly head once again.

This message was brought to you by Norton Internet Security. Are you scared yet?